mia i went through the same thing.....and quit to see what would happen if i tried being a guy...got a guy job, a girl friend, a beer belly,watched Gladiator 1000 times trying to up my macho.... 7 years later....im back.......and i eat salads LOL.....its hard.....but finding a balance is key.
I knew this thread reminded me of something!
Don't_forget_you're_here_forever.jpg
I really think you can quit CDing. But only if you can get to a place where you can dress anytime you like and go anywhere you want. My feeling is that once the restrictions are lifted, the obsession will subside. Like any sport, hobby, or avocation, you can replace it with other interests and priorities once you've had enough.
Lynn Marie
Click here to see me on Flickr
Let us know when that happens for you. Thanks.Originally Posted by Lynn Marie
It makes sense Mia. You may be able to stop or maybe not. Some have most can't I wish you luck in what ever you do.
Angie
I think the guilt is what gets me most, after I give into the urge and dress for a few days and feel happy and comfortable but then I find myself asking "what am I doing" bag everything up and pretend it didn't happen.
Then I log on here and browse clothes on amazon..
Hi Mia
An alcoholic may never drink another drop but they will always be an alcoholic.
Like wise a crossdresser may never dress again but they will always be a crossdressers.
it's like the roach motel
you can check in...
but you can NOT check out!
hi like i ive always said everythink you wanted to find out can be found in the movie the godfather............. i keep trying to get out , but it keeps pulling me back in, ..
You know, for some this really is the case. My crossdressing desires had declined a fair amount since having more freedom to crossdress. I doubt the declination was mainly due to the freedom, possibly more to do with having more satisfied crossdressing sessions. As for not crossdressing entirely (quiting or just losing interest) I believe it depends on how much a factor crossdressing is in a persons life. Not all crossdressers breathe, eat and live crossdressing.
When I first came out to my parents my father told me he had worn his sister's clothing before but eventually gave it up. Why he did so was never included in the discussion; my best guess are supposed moral grounds. In stark contrasts to the 'once a CD always a CD' notion that is common in this thread, the advice handed down to me from my enraged parents was never to touch an article of female clothing. I am clearly one defiant daughter.
Add to this the notion that obedience / discipline / an overarching notion of control is considered a zenith of achievement. Resist the temptation. Hold back. Repress even. That, on my part, also didn't work out, so I'm in that limbo between resignation and acceptance.
If anything, the ideal situation is where one doesn't become self-indulgent with it to a point where everything is neglected.
Last edited by Lily Catherine; 01-29-2015 at 07:13 AM.
What you feel makes total sense to me, I feel the same way. I want to be the male in my family. My wife does not accept this side of me. I have tried many ways to stop, but I do find myself leaning toward dressing again. For me, I can be happy dressing at home, ln private. I am deeply closeted and I am okay with it for now. We will see what the future brings, and address that when the time come. I realize this is a non-answer to your query, just a statement of how I addressed the same issue.
Thankfully that hasn't been the case for me but then I don't see dressing as an "obsession". It is more the manefestation of an important part of me as is my male side.
And yes Mia, you should experience your first outing. It will be one that you enjoy and always remember.
Last edited by Michelle (Oz); 01-29-2015 at 06:11 AM.
Isn't saying you can quit cross dressing putting it in the same category as drugs, alcohol and cigarettes?
If it is just an addiction then surely there would be ads on TV for the cure!
Personally I hope we are not STUCK with it but not in the way you would think.
We are not stuck with cross dressing. The rest of the world is stuck with a closed minded view of Men and Women and the clothes they MUST wear.
I have never seen the universal manual that states implicitly that a man MUST ONLY wear this and a woman must only wear that. It's just an old fashioned idea that is stuck in the rest of the worlds head and I hope they get over it soon.
Perhaps WE are the truly enlightened ones with free thought and self expression.
You are not stuck with crossdressing forever. If you want or need to stop, it's up to you. Do you have a strong enough will to do what you need to do? Then do it.
I think those who are at a point in their lives where dressing is not easy, or for whatever reasons not able to, its a mistake to attempt to make the desires go away or expect them to.
Every person has choices to make, decisions and along the way priorities that will at times interfere with other more personal pursuits of enjoyment. Focus on what is most important In your big picture.
Also, cders seem more than most to suffer from an all or nothing mindset. Partial dressing, perhaps some body shaving, maybe long hair. ... there are ways to express ourselves without a full transformation
There are probably a few ex-crossdressers in the world. It's certainly not common. CDing is something that progresses once it's started in most cases. So if you can stop while you're still relatively young, that would be the time to go for it. But first you'll have to view CDing as something that's bad somehow rather than enjoyable. We don't want to quit because it feels so goood!
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
There is only one answer to the question of whether we are "stuck with crossdressing forever" that can be given with absolute certainty: No. At some point your ticket gets punched and the crossdressing finally comes to an end...unless, unless, either there is a boutique in the sky - or you come back again (but not as a girl, then that wouldn't be crossdressing, would it?
Otherwise, you are probably stuck with the skirts, dresses, lingerie, wigs, bras, forms, shoes - enjoy, for God's sake, life is too short to miss out on any opportunity to kick back and enjoy that life as we know it.
Shame on those who think ill of us -- Translated and paraphrased from the motto of the United Kingdom's Most Noble Order of the Garter
This is the wrong place to ask this question! Do you go into a bar and ask how many ther have given up drinking? To a casino to ask how many stopped gambling? We are a biased population. How do you find the crossdressers who quit? You would have to find them at a younger age, then follow them ALL for 20-30 years and not lose them to followup, and then see how many have given it up totally. Then you could know the percent who give it up. From medical literature, it is very rare to give it up. As to progression, I have seen threads that discuss this - it seems to move along but often reaches a stable point unique to each person after an explosion of "pink fog".
Hugs, Ellen
There are web sites where former crossdressers announce that they have been cured..
https://healingcd.wordpress.com/
http://www.firststone.org/index.php?...sing&Itemid=64
Also as crossdressers age, they usually report that it is less about sexual stimulation and more about comfort and a sense of self-acceptance. The urges are not as powerful as in our youth. We feel in control.
Are we stuck forever? I would say that nothing is forever. I am changing constantly, albeit rather slowly. I have changed from my youth. I have changed from my early adulthood.
I wouldn't say stuck with it, but will it always be a part of you? Yes.
I often tell my husband that the key is to quit trying to figure out why, stop trying to control or quit and use the energy instead on accepting yourself, all of yourself. You are a great person, you have succeeded at many things and people love you. It is only when you embrace who you are that you can be truly happy.
I still think that most don't want to point out certain truths... that it varies!
for MOST (?) esp. on here ... it can be moderated... like having a drink now and then... or maybe some times where you drink a LOT but it doesn't get out of control
but for SOME... they're like an alky... they can't have just one! they lose control... everything in their life that matters to them plays 2nd fiddle to alcohol / CDing...
and the bad behaviours that can come with it
so often we ignore that there ARE CDers out there with wives or girly friends who are doing sneaky stuff and cheating and having porn addictions and shopping addictions and attraction to males and secretly going behind backs (online or in person)...
those are the ones that we tend to not want to talk or think about... and where probably a LOT of the more cdwives dot com board / guestbook are coming from...
this distinction needs to be better realized!
esp. in a case where it IS a fetish and has gone so out of control and delusional that some of these guys who are just Fetish CDers want to go one hormones or "become women" out of some fantasy gone WAY too far...
Well-said, Sierra_juliette!
I wouldn't compare it to an addiction. For people who act that that's one thing, but again, there's not a one size fits all answer. For myself, it's an integral part of who I am, that I have learned to accept, like Sierra_juliette says. I have reached a good balance where I dress when I want (sometimes more often, sometimes less), but it doesn't impinge on the rest of my life or cause any problems like a true addiction would.
I think as long as it's not affecting your life there's no point depriving yourself of crossdressing. if you're like most of us here, it's part of your personality and you will come back to it eventually.
I think so, yes.
From what I have read here and experienced myself, it's something that really never vanishes completely. I've had long spells of not dressing in the past, consecutive years here and there, but something always leads me back to it. So odds are you can count on the urge sticking around. If you're spooked about going out, maybe put it off for now and see what happens. Maybe plan another night out if you find you really want to.
Posting Permissions
