Does having a SO prevents your CD side to "evolve"?

[natalialimapoa]

Im sorry if theres something wrong with my title, my english is not so good hehe

Well, I know a lot of us have SO (including me). My question is: if you were single, right now, would you do more "radical" things, like going out more as a girl and opening yourself to others? Would you experiment with your sexuality? Does you SO "blocks" this side of you, even if she knows and accepts it?

I ask this because sometimes I think that, if I wast dating her right now, maybe I would do some of these things. And even more.

[Kate Simmons]

I think a lot may depend on if you want to CD or do you want to take the journey to eventually become a TG woman?

[Mink]

I'd just point out that having a SO in general "blocks" guys from certain things... like being with other women! (unless they have an open relationship or whatnot)...

it also blocks some guys from going out (with friends) or being out at all hours of the night not having to answer to anyone...

so yeah... it def. keeps certain behaviors in check but that's the give & take / commitment aspect!

longing for companionship + freedom to do what you want

vs

companionship / intimacy + not quite as free to do what one wants!

[natalialimapoa]

Thats correct. But my question is: Would you? Would you do more than you do right now (that you have a SO)? Im sure some CDs here wouldnt, since they are happy in their actual condition and limitations.

I'd just point out that having a SO in general "blocks" guys from certain things... like being with other women! (unless they have an open relationship or whatnot)...

it also blocks some guys from going out (with friends) or being out at all hours of the night not having to answer to anyone...

so yeah... it def. keeps certain behaviors in check but that's the give & take / commitment aspect!

longing for companionship + freedom to do what you want

vs

companionship / intimacy + not quite as free to do what one wants!

[FeliciaMCD]

Block is a strong word.

Personally, I find my wife helps me keep a balance and define limits. Personally, I would never consider transitioning even while single. On the flip side I wouldn't have someone to stop me from buying breast forms.

And to top it all off, I wouldn't trade for anything. My wife is the best thing to ever happen to me, even if she isn't 100% adjusted to me cross dressing. She's gone from a DADT to "well, it gives us something else to talk about" in a short period since I "restarted"

[carahawkwind]

My wife has helped me a lot of pick out outfits and wigs and do makeup, so she's definitely evolved my dressing; if I was still on my own it would likely evolve a different direction, probably more outgoing and sexual, but sloppier and trashier.

[melaknee]

i purged when she moved in but she has since found out because i told her. she's letting me now, i am trying to escalate or find acceptance from her,l i won't do it unless she allows it. i had lots of stuff before i purged everything. lifes adventure's i guess,....

[MissTee]

No. My wife supports me, and she understands I need to dress to be at peace. She encourages it. Remarkably, then, I am very content with my needs as they are met.

[Marcie]

I believe if I were single, I would probably do a lot of radical things. For example I would concentrate on being and looking very feminine, to the extent of feeling comfortable, and presentable when I go out in public. I am married and have been for many years. My wife does not know of my cross dressing fetish and would likely dump me if she found out. I am trying to develop an acceptable feminine voice to use when I am out in public. At present my wife is away on a months vacation out of the country, so I can work on evolving my feminine characteristics. In answer to your question" Does having a SO prevent your CD side to evolve" The answer is YES

[Jenniferathome]

Natalia, I love my wife so there is no "other" to consider. That's what marriage is. She does not hold me back, we are married. She has given me three great kids, and complete support of this rather weird side of me. There is no more to ask.

[justmetoo]

I don't have an SO and there's nothing really blocking me from doing those things you mentioned other than my own lack of desire to do so.

[Julogden]

In my opinion, yes, being in a relationship makes it much more difficult to work on gender/dressing issues. I feel that anyone dealing with gender stuff ought to avoid serious relationships until they've worked out who they are and what they need to do.

[Rachelakld]

When younger, I was very anti-gay,
When I got older and free, I explored the gay scene, liked the people but chickened out of playing, not so much chicken, but just not interested in men that way.

When I see your picture, you are a girl, when I read your question, you are a girl.
Maybe you should find out what you are, before your SO becomes a Serious Other.

If your SO is male, I would think "cool", if your SO is female, I would think "poor girl"
The reason I say this is I've know a few men, who realise they were gay 20+ years in to a marriage, and that their partners "wasted all those years" in a sham marriage when they could have had a proper marriage (and you could have had the "right" partner).

[AngelaYVR]

Apart from being dressed a little more frequently, there is not much I would change about what I do now. I usually have a day per week to dress and go out and this keeps things on an even keel for me, lets off the steam. However, if my wife was not so understanding, then I would probably think differently.

[kimdl93]

No. She has been aware and to greater or lesser degrees supportive of me as I've grown. As my understanding and need for expression has changed, she's been open to the changes, not always enthusiastically, but still there for me.

I am reluctant to use words like evolve or profession to describe the changes that do occur over time, simply because it's difficult to discern what may have always been present, though repressed, from behaviors that are entirely new.

[Taylor186]

I consider my wife the voice of reason when it comes to my crossdressing. She helps to keep me balanced. That said, we have an agreement that I can go out once a month and right now I'm happy going out once or twice a year.

[Nadine Spirit]

In short, no.

The only difference not having a SO would have on my cross dressing is... nothing. I would only be lonely, but my cross dressing would be the same as it is now.

[stacy956]

Nope if anything my wife in my eyes my super hero for dealing with my other side "stacy" she has shaped me into the good person and girl that i am i wouldnt trade it for anything in the world and we dont have any kids and still i wouldnt let her leav

[docrobbysherry]

Yes, absolutely. And, I believe that most who say differently r in denial!

I have completely broken loose because I HAD complete freedom and privacy to do so. My daughter moved in 2 years ago and I was forced to come out to her. She doesn't approve so I warn her when I'm going to dress. Just because she knows, it inhibits my dressing.

When u live with others, u will contiously or uncontiously consider their feelings and schedules. Even if they approve!

[natalialimapoa]

When u live with others, u will contiously or uncontiously consider their feelings and schedules. Even if they approve!

Exacly what I was thinking when I created this thread. By reading others responses, I think that it may vary depending on where you want to go with your desire of being CD, and how free you are with your SO.

[Miriam-J]

I'm sure it depends on the SO. I've certainly read many stories here where folks have been dissuaded from the healthy experimentation needed to "grow up" as a crossdresser. But this isn't always the case. In my own case, my wife has been a major asset in my progress as a crossdresser. She's provided moral support, advised me on makeup, decorum, and clothing, and encouraged and accompanied me on many of my early outings. All this helped me to progress rather quickly from my "teenager" stage of crossdressing to the "grownup" stage.

I'm sure there are more like her out there. Just be patient and hang in there.

Miriam

[NicoleScott]

There's no way of telling for sure, but probably yes, especially going/being out more. Probably not experimenting sexually.

[Nadine Spirit]

Yes, absolutely. And, I believe that most who say differently r in denial!

Yup. That's it. I am in denial. Actually, internally, I have secretly always really wanted to take this cding thing as far as possible and because I love my wife I have unconsciously decided that is not what I want. Thanks for pointing that out. Now I know myself so much better!

[AnotherCuteTGirl]

I know I would, although I don't find guys attractive they actually get annoying I just want to be girly when I dress so I'll put up with them. But, I don't do anything when I dress other than take pictures and go online since I am taken lol
Not like it is a bad thing though because obviously if you really wanted to do it you would, if you already dress in secret not like you trying "radical" things wouldn't be. I personally wouldn't do that but hey some people are different

[cassiekat]

Yeah I guess my exes have hindered my evolution so to speak, for revenge the second ex dated me and fully" supported" me to try and embarrass me or whatever, it actually ended up helping me to a degree. I'm really hard to embarrass publicly, my family can shame me like nobody's business though