OMG!!! 2nd or 3rd time out and having a moment...

[Katey888]

Soooo... unprepared post this one but thought I'd share the feelings...

My definite second time out is tomorrow (Saturday) evening - major ball at Woburn Abbey for the Trans* community... my prep has been.. lethargic, this time - and now this morning I'm having a major moment and thinking: "I could just cancel..."

This is common - I know... I was tentatively planning on getting out this evening to an accepting LGBT club, just to chill, pose and get in the mood. Good idea, right??? I DON'T KNOW....?!?! I feel like I can - and I should... I get the butterflies already - but i'm still thinking (I know, I know....) - Why do I need to do this? Why do I feel good about the feeling (setting aside the nerves, which is just an event thing) but still wonder what I'm doing...?

Am I making a complete plonker of myself? Surely not... This is deeper than just a bit of socialising and dancing - I wouldn't need to do that en femme or in drag right...? But I'm still thinking of (and enjoying) what hair? Blonde or darker...? What shoes...? Is a feather boa absolutely de rigeur...? (Yes, yes, YES!!!)

So maybe tonight will settle me - nothing wild, just getting out, mess with some outfits, blah, blah... but then tomorrow is the full Monty... I know I have to do it to find out... It's not quite 'climbing the mountain coz it's there', but I suspect it's our equivalent of that timeless rationale...

Wish me luck everyone - who knows what the next couple of days will bring...

Not-being-much-of-a-drama-kween Katey x

[Vikky]

Hi Katey

Go for it - you've got the b***s.

Vikky

[Marcie]

Relax Katey, Your evening will probably go uneventful. You mentioned it is a LBGT club and they certainly expect cross dressers and gays. You should enjoy yourself meeting new friends with similar interests

[Jean 103]

Just make sure you leave yourself time to change clothes three times. LOL have a great time Love Jean

[Teresa]

Katey,
What are going to feel worse about, doing it or not doing it ??
Just take the chance to be Katey and think about it the day after ! I bet you'll feel better that you did it !

[Eringirl]

It's okay Katie, I get it. Just a bit of "cold feet". You will be fine. Sometimes one thinks "should I really to out tonight". But once they do, they find it so worth it and glad they did. If you really don't want to then don't. There is no one keeping score. But I think you really do, just getting "chilly toes". Once you are there you will be glad you did. Sounds like a totally safe environment, and if anyone can pull this off, you can! You go girl!!

Of, course, you will have to let us know how it goes, and you know the golden rule, "if there are no pictures..."

Erin

[MsVal]

Okay Katey, I'll help you decide...
You're going.
You're going to have a good time.
You're going to have a good time meeting people.
You're going to have a good time meeting people just like us.
You're going to have a good time meeting people just like us and wonder why you ever had second thoughts.

You are gorgeous, smart, and witty. Don't hide it, share it.

Please PLEASE tell us how it went, in words and pictures.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Heidi Stevens]

Go Katey, just go!! I wish I had something like this that was close enough to go to! You're going to do just fine!

[ashleymasters]

Katey,

I think it's very normal to feel apprehensive. Especially the first handful of times you go out. It's good that you are pushing yourself to experience things. There are a number of things I wondered if I would enjoy and had to force myself to try. Some I liked and others I didn't. The best part is that either way now I know and I can focus on what I do really enjoy. it's very rewarding. best of luck to you honey.

[bridget thronton]

If you decide to go to the ball in hope you have a wonderful time

[Jenniferathome]

Katey, I think dwelling on the "why you go out or want to go out" question is like asking why we cross dress. No great answer except that I think it is just a validation that we are people. People socialize. Have fun

[AngelaYVR]

This has happened to me, too. I find all those fears evaporate as soon as you are out the door but in the meantime just trust in yourself, make yourself look fantastic and maybe have a wee tot of something bracing! You'll be so glad you went and so mad if you don't. Show those nerves who's in charge!

xox

[SherriePall]

Katey, we want pics of you at the event! Lots of them.

[Julie Denier]

You'll be great, Katey! You always look fantastic. Speaking as someone with just one time out dressed under her belt, I know I'd be heading out a second time if the right opportunity arose. So get out and have fun! And take pictures

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Katey,
Crappy timing for the WTF feeling to show up!
I'm sure they will disappear a soon as you slip on that last heel and step out.
Have some fun, and let's see that smile!
Much Love
Kristyn

[kimgirl]

Go for it, Girl! Gotta see some pics though I'm very envious.

[carhill2mn]

You are experiencing what nearly everyone who is new at going out in public has experienced. You will be fine. Just remember what you have learned and that your smile is your best friend! Act confidently and as if you belong wherever you are.

[Kate Simmons]

Wow, just enjoy yourself Lady Katey. You have my permission Hon.

[Katey888]

Thanks girls... you're all hero(ine)s!

So, I'm tucked into my hotel room now, one carry bag of boy stuff, two dress carriers and one large suitcase of femme options... for two nights out... seriously..??? The tension is a curious mixture of all those old questions, and the pleasant feeling of just being able to get into this mode for a couple of evenings and experience a new event and meet some new members of our community. It may sound odd but I feel more like a part of things just by doing these specific events and small steps - but I know it's more just a social thing for now; no campaigner me yet..! From mighty oaks, yes..?

Time to relax and focus on something productive... some nail work helps the butterflies, and then a little ponder on outfits for tonight... maybe some selfies to help the failing memory too...

Katey x

[kimdl93]

Not absolutely sure what plonkers is, but given the context, no you're not. You're right where each of us (that goes out in public) has been at one point or another. It's ok. In quiet moments I still ask myself. To be human is to question. Ultimately, those deep seated doubts do, in my case at least, yield to the need, to the sense of fulfillment and the fun of going out and being myself...or at least this very important part of myself.

Whatever happens, it's OK. This is your life...no one else's.

[pamela7]

wow Katey,
its amazing someone we look up to has the same wobbles ... that's both comforting and alarming at the same time!
good luck with it, i'd have wanted to be there, but not quite ready yet!!

xxx

[Sarah Doepner]

I've found that when I start feeling that way the best thing is to get ready. The process of doing the transformation helps keep the butterflys at bay for a while. Then look in the mirror and if you see the woman who deserves to get out from the room, do it. If you see the other person there, sit down and check your nails or change outfits. Just keep checking and eventually that person in the mirror will tell you if and when it's time to go.

Then go back and read all the stories (no, not all of them, there are too many) of successful trips out where the expectation was for disaster and the result was almost a non-event except for the perma-smile you have when you get back to the room.

Good luck, you'll be fine.

[Shelly Preston]

Katey go out and enjoy every minute you can.

It's one of those things you would regret if you didn't go and have a lot of fun.

[Amy Fakley]

Gawd! I totally get where you're coming from, Katey. I get the worst social anxiety, before events like that without dressing. I can't imagine what it's like with dressing in the mix too (someday, I'm sure I'll find out ... someday ... lol)

Hang in there. It's often a bit like riding a Rollercoaster for me ... the worst part is the waiting and the anticipation, but once you're in the saddle and things start moving, it's pretty exciting ... and once it's over, doing it again is all you'll wanna do :-)

[Carmen]

Katey the moment that you walk through those doors all of your anxieties will instantly vaporize and you will have a wonderful time being the girl that you are.