Daddy's influence!?!?

[girlbh44]

One topic I haven't seen alot about. Growing up how did your father influence you? Was he determined to make you a man? Did he tell you things like boys don't cry? My father was always telling me to toughen up, discouraging my fem side. I think that my father's influence has made me so scared to let anyone see my softer side. I had to live up to his expectations. To this day, the fear that I have that someone will find out has kept me from sharing my fem side with anyone. Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like with a more understanding father.

[Judith96a]

My father, and my paternal grandfather, both encouraged me to stand tall and be a man! Yes, they both said "big boys don't cry". Not sure that either of them ever tried particularly to "toughen me up" - it wasn't their style. Both were very big on taking responsibility etc. Neither of them would have understood my femme side - just totally outside their comprehension! Miss both of them!

[Tiffany Jane]

While crossdressing started at my dad's house while visiting (divorced parents), in a home with three sisters (2 daughters of a step mother and 1 half sister), it was in my juvenile mind I put forward believing I would gain attention from my dad if I was a girl. Without going into a lot of details, it has been almost thirty years since then and although my scope of crossdressing has grown, as well as my acceptance of who it has made me, none of my family is aware of this part of me. Would he have been disappointed? YES! Maybe that is how this all started in secret and still has yet to come to light with any of my family.

[CatCloud]

My father was never the type to pressure me to act manly or in any particular way, his influence was limited and he spent most of his time at work or sleeping. Since my parents divorce it seems he works more and I have seen him less than 5 times in the last year. His influence and presence in my life is small.

[JocelynJames]

My dad passed in November at 79 years young. He tried to lead by example when it came to toughness. I have 5 brothers and no sisters. I never heard toughen up or be a man. There were things I loved doing with him like working on cars and home improvement, but it was more about doing it with him and meeting approval. In my teenage years I was typical rebellious - grew. Y hair half way down my back and pierced ear. I was in bands and partied. He never gave me crap about any of it, just keep out of trouble. I would have liked for him to know about Jocelyn, but I'm just fine that he never really seemed judgmental.

[BarbDriscoll]

Most of the time my dad deferred to my mom in how I was raised, but I know he felt that I was too "soft" and wished I was "tougher". When I was about 11 we moved into a new neighborhood and a boy a couple of years older came to the house looking for one of the daughters of the former owner. I am pretty sure my dad took him aside and made some sort of arrangement with him to take me under his wing and get me what my dad called "street smart". Yes, in hindsight I think my father paid him to be my friend. He was just about the most unlikely person to befriend me. Not exactly criminal, but a pretty wild kid. And we hung around together for a couple of years. Not sure how much "tougher" it made me, but it sure was an interesting time of my life. I got to look at world from, what to me, was a pretty alien perspective. I doubt that my mother knew. My father was long dead by the time I figured it out, so I couldn't ask him about it. But it is very much something my dad might have done.

[Erika Lyne]

None of that. My father just sat there, blank faced when I was caught dressing as a child. His disapproval was obvious but he was not over masculine nor did he get all "man up" on me. He supported me on every venture but this one. In fact, I have a career that he always dreamed of having. He is so proud of my qualifications and achievements but since his disapproving stare, he knows nothing of my continued suffering since that early age.

[cdsara]

Mine said sometimes you need to cry. Try not to to it in front of others they will give you a hard time. He never once said BE A MAN. Even though I remember my friends dads say it to them when I was around. However he was and still is very unaccepting of anyone being different. They still don't know.

[JessMe]

"A man don't cry 'less he's bleedin' or dyin' " and hour long discussions about chainsaws and proper methods of slaughtering farm animals. my dad is very John Wayne. Almost everyone in my immediate family knows, but if I have it my way, he never will.

[VAWyman]

My father worked night shifts all my life, which meant he slept days. My constant reminder of my dad is that guy that would come roaring out of his bedroom if my brother and I made too much noise around the house. Maybe I started to crossdress trying to earn his love, or at least an emotion that didn't express itself in anger. I rarely remember him just laughing for the sake of a good laugh.

[justmetoo]

My dad was the typical macho man of his generation. Yes, he tried to force me into sports, tried to toughen me up, gave me a lot of criticism and verbal abuse for my interest in books and the arts, and all that. That was a long time ago! He's mellowed a bit in the intervening decades. But he is one of the few members of my family I haven't come out to, because I don't think he has mellowed enough for that.

[Jenniferathome]

My Dad was a traditional father. We played sports, talked sports and school and eventually girls. He was great. I knew he loved me. He had no influence on my hiding of cross dressing. I had a million other influences by age 7. I knew cross dressing was "wrong."

[Tracii G]

Looking back my Dad was pretty cool.
At the time I though he was a huge jerk for jerking a knot in my ass more than once. I deserved it so he was just being a caring Dad.
He taught me the value of hard work,being honest,and how to manage money.
I feel very lucky to have grown up with a Dad.

[Kandi Robbins]

I had a great father, we did all the father and son things, played catch, etc. He went to every one of my football games even though I didn't play much (great hands, slowest white guy on the planet). However, he had to work very hard to support our family, working many hours (4 kids, me and 3 sisters, all born within a year of each other) and he had some health issues, so I was in a house full of women most of the time. We all know where that went.....

I tended to live my life separately from my sisters, spent most days at a friends house, went to a different high school than my sisters, but overall we had a normal, healthy family. I think my crossdressing was quite circumstantial, lived with women, played with girls at an early age (no one else around), experiencing "dressing" very young and I have lived with all women the past 30 years. No ones "fault", that's just the way it was. Know what? I am now at peace with it and quite enjoy it!

[Jilmac]

My dad had a sensitive side that came out when my second sister died at age 21 (I was 16 then). We enjoyed many guy things together, baseball games, wrestling matches, tinkering on the car, etc. My sisters (I had five including the one who died) were the ones who would tease me about boys crying, but the teasing was never malicious. In my family I seldom heard things like "man up, stand tall, act like a man," or any other macho sayings.

[Eryn]

Certainly my father influenced me, as he was my primary role model while growing up. From him I learned traits both good and bad. I knew I was supposed to be like him but in a lot of ways I felt I fell short. My father never needed to tell me to "man up." He implied it by example.

[Rachelakld]

My father lived by example, time to be tough, loved cowboy movie, liked working on cars, liked taking us out camping.
Probably cried once or twice but never saw it.
Liked selecting womens clothes for my mum