My letter to her

[MonicaJean]

(posted this to Facebook, but not everyone in the world is on there.....)

Dear Michelle, I will set you free soon.
I can feel you wanting....no...kicking and screaming, to be set free. Your time is almost here. Please be patient with me, I am almost ready to handover the baton of life to you and let you take over completely.

This man is completely out of energy and empty from the four decades of fighting, but as you can see, for the sake of the family I'm sticking it out as long as I can. We both love the kids and will do anything for them.

You're with me everywhere I go. I can feel you looking over my shoulder at every move, and every decision point, with every emotion and with every feeling. Roles are reversed, it's as if I am your shadow now.

When I sit down, I think of how you would look if my legs were properly crossed, or if my arms folded properly to take up his little space as possible in in honor of your arrival soon.

Michelle, I am near completely out of energy with this fight. During the middle of the day I become so frustrated that you have not taken over the driver's seat yet. But yet, I'm still fearful of letting go. I know fear is my biggest enemy, yet it still has a hold on me. You know I have always had a hard time letting go of the past, this time is no different for me. Please understand.

Please accept my sincerest apologies with not losing a fair amount of weight for your initial flight. I have tried, but have failed. I know with your happiness you will be able to fight this battle much more effectively than I.

As I near this finish line, I can feel your excitement for life bubble over into my life. Part of me wants to stop immediately because I do not want to squelch your zeal for a living, a zeal I have never had. Of the two of us, you are the only one who possesses the bubbly spirit, that energy...that zeal, that happiness in life, to continue on to make life all that it can be.

I am spent, I look forward to the new friends you will make, and I hope I've made enough wonderful new friends so that you have a fantastic springboard to start with at the beginning of your journey.

I want you to be happy, I want you to smile often… These two things I could never achieve. Since I've known you, you've owned both of these traits, it was I who never smiled...and it looks to me like you will be a lot happier than I am.

Please be patient, I'm almost done with my journey. You'll be set free soon, I can't wait to see how he will grow into a beautiful woman that is always been there and is waiting for her time to shine.
I love you...more than I ever loved myself, Mike

[Karen62]

This is a beautiful letter, my dear friend. I know how much you've struggled with this, and I wish you the very best. Monica is going to be an amazing woman. Not only will she be a profoundly happier person, she'll also have an advantage that GGs never have. She'll have all the worldly experience of Mike to help her understand the insane differences in the way that testosterone-polluted male brains think versus estrogen-bathes brains in women. Monica will have access to both sets of memories, and that will make her understand so much more of the world. She's going to be incredible, but a lot of the credit goes to having an incredible start in life, thanks to that fine fellow, Mike. I can't wait to watch her live her life to the fullest. It thrills me.

Countless hugs, sweetie,

Karen

[STACY B]

We as Trans Girls could all use that same letter an just insert our names at the top ,, Thanks for sharing ,, Times are changing an yull be Great in your new life . It's Girls like you that pave the road for everyone else !! THANKS

[Eringirl]

Thanks Michelle. Very touching letter. Yes, one could easily insert my name and it would be accurate as well. Lovely way to get your thoughts down on paper.

Erin

[Nigella]

Very profound

[Janelle_C]

Michelle I know how hard it is to let go. I to also wrote a letter to myself. I cried the whole time I wrote it. It helped me let go and move on. I still can't read it with out crying. I so happy for you that you are finding a way to move forward. 🌈

[phylis anne]

Ditto on what the others have said , your letter fits us all
hugs phylis anne

[Michelle789]

Michelle,

I can totally identify with the feelings of your letter. That's how I felt a year ago. It feels truly amazing to be set free. I truly hope you will get to experience that freedom in the near future, and I look forward to your post once you've experienced it.

[Angela Campbell]

I did something similar a year or so ago, except since it was from me....it was to him. You see I was always her, he was someone I created to help me deal. Anyway here is the letter



A short letter to Michael

Michael,
I want to thank you for getting me to the point I am at now. Soon I will have to say goodbye to you. You have helped me to build a life that is full of joys and even gave me three children which are the light of my life. You helped me to survive. I could not have done it without you. You helped hide me from others who did not want to know me, you endured beatings from those who wanted to hurt me, surely heaven waits for you.
It is sad I have to say goodbye to you, but I know you understand. You were only here to help me hide from a world that was not ready to meet me yet. You protected me for so many years and did the best you could. For years you have been my only friend. I love you.

Love Angela

[Lady Catherine]

This is beautiful. Peace, my friend.