Thank you for sharing this with us Pamela.
Thank you for sharing this with us Pamela.
If she doesn't want it then it doesn't matter if you show her this thread....not all GGs can accept.Originally Posted by Teresa
How true but still a lot of cders think that GGs should understand.
Last edited by Sandra; 02-09-2015 at 11:59 AM.
Sandra
Administrator
I always used to rib you about your legs can't anymore. R.I.P Sexy Legs
R.I.P Rianna
That was a stunning read and quite honestly an excellent view, from the female perspective, on why SO's treat their life mates so wrongly because of a view on how the male demographic is suppose to live and look. Crossdressing is more than a fetish, it is more than a sexual kick that some have for wearing clothes that has been deemed for the opposite gender for whatever reason. For the longest time I have classified myself a crossdresser as my gender dysphoria wasn't clearly understood by myself BUT I did not find the term crossdresser wrong because my view on the subject is that clothes should remain as the word says. It is a garment that covers the body and with changing times I find it hard to believe that both men and women find it so wrong. It is proven that men wore dresses, heels, makeup, stockings, wigs and various other things before it was deemed female. Your wife has a great view and interesting questions that should be asked by everyone who is either in love with or knows a crossdresser just to gain a better understanding. With the Internet being as big as it is, the social stigma of men wearing women's clothes should be nil to none however, people will be people and will hate on anything that is seen as different because the majority of society sees it as wrong or disgusting. I know I'm kind of ranting but I've been doing a lot of soul searching and research into the stigma that is wearing clothes of a different sex. It just begs to question, when will the hate stop and the normalization begin because after research and thinking upon the subject, it really isn't all that different. In some cultures, crossdressing is seen as obtaining a new understanding of being human and embrace the fact that some of the men in their tribe or society does this empowering act and cheer those that do. You have a great wife and she raises great questions, let's hope some of those questions get answered.
A perfect example of a person that sees the world from a rational viewpoint, rather than an emotional one. We need more human beings like this, not just SOs.
Your use of the word "but" negates the first part of your sentence. The implication is, if the CDer behaves in the ways you've listed (deceitful, self-centered), belittling and shaming are acceptable.
I'll use your exact sentence structure, but change the topic. "Of course, I don't think any woman should be raped, but you don't have to dig very deep to find women who dress provocatively, dance inappropriately and come on to guys."
The implication in my sentence is she deserves it if she behaves a certain way. The implication in your sentence is CDs deserve it if they behave a certain way.
If a CD hasn't handled it well, belittling and shaming are still not acceptable. Two wrongs, etc. If a GG is repulsed by her CD husband, then the two of them need to have some difficult discussions about well defined limits or about splitting up.
On your last sentence, I agree 100 percent.
Ms. Tina Zee - Your favorite gender nonconforming ukulelist and vocalist. Well, one of your favorites, I hope.
See me sing right here! https://www.youtube.com/user/MsTinaZee
Hi all,
Pamela has finally persuaded me to join the forum and post in my own right, rather than having to be quoted all the time.
I was amazed at the response to this post, and rather in awe of the depth of feeling that it brought out in everyone. Perhaps we are lucky in our relationship, but I don't see any difference in the husband that I knew a few months ago, before he discovered his feelings about ladies clothes, and the husband that I have now. If anything, he is more relaxed, more fun and the whole household is having a great and entertaining time coming to terms with his sometimes unusual colour choices. 'Peacock' and 'Bird of paradise' are two of the descriptions that have been aimed his way!
I would be very happy to chat with anyone who wants to know more about how I, and we, have dealt with the transition to this new phase in our lives.
I normally stay away from posts that get this long because anything I have to say has already been posted, usually better and repeated a number of times. The orginal post is a wonderful affirmation of the love a wife has for her crossdressing husband. There are several posts that bring out the fact that there are crossdressers who may demonstrate all the characteristics in the post, but also behave baddly. Lies, outside relationships, reduced committment to the relationship, substance abuse and other things can damage the relationship and make it difficult to appreciate any of the positives we feel. It seems that the biggest problem is sorting out all the different parts of a relationship so they can be seen as distinct parts. It's very easy to see the lies and link them to the fact that the husband is a crossdresser. It could be the lies exist because the husband is afraid he will not be accepted or is basically dishonest in the relationship, but not because of his gender identity. People often attack something they don't understand and unfortunately, that is the case with crossdressing. It is very easy to lump all the things they don't like into one bundle and use that in their attack. I think the old saying holds here, "When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail." In this case every problem in a relationship looks like crossdressing. A long term relationship is always complex and that means there are a lot of working parts that depend on something else. I would hope that we all find the strength and attention to try and sort it all out.
I think crossdressers sometimes use the reverse of this to justify some things that are not directly related to crossdressing. We can take it as an assault on our crossdressing if our spouse complains about all the Ebay purchases, when it's really those expenses make it difficult to pay the mortgage. There are two sides and it takes a lot of effort and concentration to figure out why we do the things we do and how is being affected by those choices. Pamela and Welshgirl seem to have made that effort and she has been able to show the ability to pull a thread out of the cloth and deal with it before moving on to other things. Thank you for your post.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
CLICK (that was the sound of me hitting the like button on this thread)
Welshgirl...welcome...
Yes, girls, I met Pamela and his amazing spouse yesterday for tea and talk. I had met Pamela a couple of weeks ago on her first venture out into our CD world and talked about Welshgirl and how supportive she is. They are both coming along to our "girls" group in Exeter tomorrow night so yesterday was an opportunity to meet them over a cup of tea so that Welshgirl had meet another tgirl apart from Pamela. My GG colleague from work came too and we had a lovely time talking about anything and everything.
Pamela, Welshgirl, I am looking forward to getting to know you both better over the years to come and hoping, too, that you will be able to play a role in our drop-in centre once we get it under way; it'll be great to have involvement from others, particularly a GG, who are committed to our cause and to "normalising" it in wider society.
Welcome again Welshgirl
Michelle
xxx
Thank you Michelle! We had a lovely time yesterday, and it was wonderfully refreshing to see just how unconcerned other people were about who was wearing what. You may have seen on another thread that Pamela posted shortly after we got home, that I am now much more comfortable with the idea of her going out in public, as long as it is fully dressed. In any other context that would sound decidedly odd, but everyone here will know exactly what I mean.
It was a delight to meet you both yesterday, and we are very much looking forward to seeing you at the meeting tomorrow evening. Thank you for taking the time to come over and reassure me - I'm sure the opportunity to have a half day off work and have some 'Michelle time' had nothing to do with it at all...
Yes so very true. Yet I wonder is that any worse or any better than the number of GG's who think that they shouldn't even have to TRY to understand hmmm.....??
oh yes, we're "in" Michelle!!! Thank you, we're another step on the way "out", of course we'll be there to help others.
Not all the girls in the group are as lunatically confident as me but yesterday did certainly serve to highlight that it is possible to be out around the general public without people staring and laughing or making snide remarks. I think we have all been there and been concerned that we will be the subject of public ridicule but the reality is that this fear is almost entirely in our own heads...
It is, in any case, always easier when you are with other people - strength in numbers - and I don't think it matters too much whether that is with other tgirls or with GGs. I did read Pamela's post elsewhere and also email direct to me. I think yesterday achieved exactly what I hoped it would - making you feel more at ease...and highlighting the desirability of having a wig if you are concerned about being recognised. My friend Francine's SO, however, takes the opposite view - she feels that the wig is not necessary and encourages Francine and I not to wear. But I feel the wig is what really takes me, psychologically from Stephen to Michelle.
It was a great excuse for an afternoon off and going to choir as Michelle afterwards was a big bonus but meeting you and reassuring you was the real purpose and I am so pleased that you feel it was a success.
See you again tomorrow - legs will be "out" tomorrow - no jeans or trousers for group meetings!!!
Hugs and kisses
Michelle
xxxx
Great comments you are lucky to have her
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