Time Alone

[audreyinalbany]

reading a recent thread about choosing between going out with friends or dressing up and staying home got me thinking. I seem to spend an extraordinary amount of time alone. i don't have a lot of male friends or much of a social circle. The people I see on any kind of regular basis are my wife's friends. So I was wondering if us non-transitioning heterosexual married cross dressers tend to be loners. I feel like I am. You?

[Erika Lyne]

Aubrey in Albany,

I'm a bit of a loner by nature. Though, when stuck alone for hours on end on a regular basis, I don't usually get all dolled up. "All dressed up and no where to go." isn't that much fun. I usually end up just hanging around in Vicky's PJs and a bra, comfortable and fem. As far as being out: I'm out with more female friends than male, many have not see me dressed.

Stay warm in Albany, it's supposed to be chilly this week,
-E

[MissTee]

I am to a large degree, but don't know that I associate it with dressing. I spend a lot of time, and I mean a lot, interacting with other people during the long 12-15 hour work days I have. After all that, I enjoy my time alone to dress and recharge.

[jessicabf]

I would say i am a social introvert. Does that even make sense? I am happiest left to myself. But I need connection from time to time. And I enjoy validation that comes from small groups. However I do not fear standing in front of large crowds. A social introvert? maybe.

[kinkyboots]

I have a few close male friends, but only hang out once a month or so. My wife is my best friend.

[Suzie Petersen]

A Social Introvert! Love it

[iGenny]

I'm definitely an introvert. It takes me a while to make a new friend.

[andreanna]

I think that for the most part many of us that don't go out are loners. Myself I don't mind being alone whether I am dressed or not. This might also be the reason I enjoy my current job, long haul driving is a good paying job, can see the country, can dress without anyone bothering me.

[NicoleScott]

I didn't know how much I valued my time alone until I married and found myself with little of it. Not that I didn't want to be with her, just not all the time. I have friends who don't like to be alone. It's just different personalities at play. Compared to others, I have fewer friends and spend less time socializing. Crossdressing didn't make me this way, as I don't spend all of my alone time crossdressed. I like doing other things alone. And when I want, I can be with other people.

[Kate Simmons]

Kind of like feeling like a nut. Sometimes you feel like one, sometimes you don't.

[CarlaWestin]

In my occupation, I have to deal with too many personalities all week and I absolutely love my wife and her company. So, my alone time is just in the mornings. I've just not seen the social life thing as anything other than a waste of time and energy. As for long periods of alone time, I take advantage and do complete fem right down to the toenails. And , invariably, start missing my wife as soon as she leaves.

[Katey888]

Not so much of a loner Audrey... that seems to have bad connotations associated with it - but definitely not a big social circle either...

I always believed that broad socialising = shallow and I prefer to have friends that are real friends; those you might not see for months but they are there if you need real support.

I do wonder how much of the fact that I've suppressed this side of me for so long has led to a degree of guarding this side of my personality, and that then may make it harder to fully open up to people...? I can imagine that may be true for others too - y'know... you never want to be completely unguarded because you might just let something slip - so you over-compensate... But I'm naturally quiet anyway... letting my femme side off the leash has been pleasantly liberating...

Katey x

[Beverley Sims]

I had a lot of social contacts but I always felt that I was a loner.

[mary spence]

Remember the kids' books Where's Waldo? I sometimes feel as a loner in the crowd--Where's Mary? I do, though, really value my friends whether male or female. That's not to say I'm not green with envy as I view a really attractive outfit on a female friend and wish I could wear that.

[Cheryl T]

Not really a loner, but as an only child I learned to occupy my time without the help of others.
Being by myself has never been a big issue. I'll go anywhere, do anything and if others (friends) are along great, if not great too.

[DeeNile]

I am very much a loner. People annoy me. I lack the makeup skills to pass, so going out in public fully dressed rarely happens. I love my friends, but i cherish my alone time even more. Its my cave, so to speak. I value my alone time so much because i get so little of it. I am married with a 6 yo daughter. I can socialize with friends whenever, but to be alone and left to my own devices? Game On!!!

[Tora]

Wife is my Best friend.. she came with a very close extended family. Our daughters live close and two grand children are with us almost every week. Without the Bride I moght be a loner...

[Jilmac]

I am a loner in the sense that I live by myself because I am a widower and empty nester. Other than that, I have friends who know Jill and we associate with each other on numerous occasions.

[Marcelle]

Hi Audrey,

Not really a loner but also not a super social butterfly. I have a close group of friends (male and female) who all know about Isha. The interesting thing is that I still get invited to boys nights but have now crossed over to "girl's nights" as well with the wives of some of my best male friends. It was awkward at first but has now normalized.

Hugs

Isha

[pamela7]

Hi Audrey,
I definitely was a loner when young, and have been a hermit for parts of my life, the CD tho, is not a loner-private thing for me, its at home, with my wife as my bestie.
You do raise a thought-provoking question - are we loners cos deep down we don't fit the binary stereotype?
hmmn, you got me thinking - thanks!!!

[MsVal]

Perhaps those of us that grew up NOT "one of the guys", and not one of the girls, adapted to, and became comfortable with a small social circle.

Best wishes
MsVal

[AccidentalDresser]

Interesting thread Audrey.
Until my recently departed fiancé (not dead just dead to me) outed me to all our friends, I used to live with my SO and socialise quite a bit with our friends.
Since losing them all I have actually found I don't miss them as much as I thought I would. Possibly because they were not really my friends to begin with or we were not really close. None of them has even bothered to contact me.

I do have a busy day at work and deal closely with a lot of people there so I am not lacking human contact. And we always have a great laugh in the lunchroom at lunch and are all quite open like a family dinner table.

When I get home I go full fem daily but not dolled up, just comfortable and sometimes sexy.
It probably is because of CD that I am alone now but only because of my friends and XSO not really being the type of people I should have socialised with in the first place. Shallow people with no real desire to be close. I do miss having someone special to cuddle up to on the lounge and in bed but I also like having the bed to myself if that makes sense.

It may all change once I find someone to rent the room but I don't plan on stealing their friends away. And I will end up with an accepting flat mate because I plan to start showing the room to potential tenants as my preferred female self. No room in my life for shallow closed minded unaccepting bigots anymore. And yes I think I am happier this way. Besides I have all you girls now and that makes me feel not alone at all.

[Heather_Shirly]

Yup... loner here.

I have a few very close and old friends but i don't go and make new friends very often. I mainly meet new people through my lodge but i don't really socialize with much outside of lodge.

I am happy to be alone by myself or with my wife or friends wife and such but(especially these days) take every minute i get of relay alone time and try to enjoy it somehow.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

My circle of friends is small and because they're in various countries, I don't see many of them very often. Thank god for email. I'm not sure I'd describe myself as a loner, but I certainly spend a lot of time alone. Grew up that way, so it's never been too hard to cope with.

[JocelynJames]

I have few friends that I call close, but those I do have have been friends for 20 years or more. This being my second marriage, I focus a lot on my SO .There are times when I'm off on a motorcycle ride for a day with the guys or recording for a few days . when I think about it, when we all grew up and didn't party anymore and had our own families, the socializing just didn't happen anymore.