Does your SO know your a member

[Vinni]

Wow. Thank you all for your replies. I went to bed last night with the hopes someone may reply. I am so pleased to see and read all the replies. I think I will take away from this is that the last thing I need is for my wife to back away or get caught up in a flame war. So I believe that I will settle in here and work towards telling her I have found a place to belong and have some friends with real experience navigating thru this wonderful journey. Thank you all. My new friends

Endless hugs,
Vinni

Also.
Let me give a special thank you to BillieAnneJean for your note. Very kind of you dear.
Vinni

[Sandra]

One thing, anyone thinking about talking about this site to their SO's is to make sure that they understand that what they read on here forum others doesn't mean it is all the same for you. Just because Dotty likes sponge cake doesn't mean that Daisy will like it.

If you are open and honest with your SO then her being here shouldn't be a problem.

[Jaymees22]

My wife is very computer illiterate even after some professional training. Occasionally I will print out things from here for her to read if I think it will help us. Hugs Jaymee

[ReineD]

My wife … is rather annoyed by the vast amounts of complaining done by some of the GG members.

Complaining?

We've had some GG members who didn't like the CDing and were rather angry about it (one GG had had a disastrous relationship with her SO), but for the most part GGs come here to learn and try to understand. There may be some things they don't like and their degrees of comfort may vary about different aspects of the CDing, but they are trying and I don't take their posts as complaints when they write how they feel.

It's really too bad that your wife feels that way. If she is accepting, she could be in a measure to help some of the GGs who struggle with this.

FYI, we've also had CD members who hated being CDers and who wanted to find some way to control it or quit. Not everyone is able to embrace this 100%, not with the information that most of us were raised with.

[Cheryl T]

Mine surely is a member.
Have your wife join and ask for FAB too. It's for women only (Female At Birth) and has some good topics there for SO's...so I'm told, we're not allowed in. She can then also read the posts here and you can discuss them and share even more. That's exactly what my wife and I did when I came out fully to her. She found it immensely helpful.

[aprilgirl]

My wife joined the F.A.B. forum and found the experience to be beneficial. She also participated some in the general forum, which sparked some positive conversation between us. She's been inactive for some time now, part of which is due to her demanding schedule, but mostly because she just doesn't feel the need to do so. We are in a good place as to how this impacts us individually, and as a couple. I sort of miss her being here and from time to time she'll ask if any interesting topics arise or how someone she connected with is doing.

[Kristyn Hill]

Wife knows but doesn't want to join to date. I do discuss things from time to time I have seen on here.

[Teresa]

Vinni,
The forum has given me help and support in dealing with my CDing and my wife's attitude to it but letting her see what I have written to get that help would be a disaster !!

As far as I know she doesn't know I use Teresa for a name along with a picture !
I also think that even the open forum topics are not all good reading for a DADT wife and as for the rest of the pictures I've posted, I think my days would certainly be numbered !!
This forum is my outlet to help me through, if my wife joins of her own accord to get help, I can't stop her but it would be unfair of her to restrict me here as well !!

[JessicasRabbit]

My wife knows. She prefers that I keep it closeted from the world.
Sometime last year she used my laptop for something. Afterward, she asked, "Who is "JessicasRabbit?""
I was the proverbial deer in the headlights.
She expressed that she was glad that I have an outlet here for this side of me. But she didn't like so much that I used her name as a part of my screen-name here.

[DanielleLee]

Hi Vinni,

My wife has seen various windows tabs labeled "male to female crossdressers"; quite on accident, as it has not been my intention to share. There are too many discussions I've seen on the various forum boards that I believe would mortify her about crossdressers. With that being said, if she were to ask what it's all about I would tell her. Both my membership and participation. :-)

[Cassie.]

Well she knows I used forums and what not quite a lot but she has never really been interested in them herself. And that's always been fine with me.

[LilSissyStevie]

My wife calls this site my "frilly friends."

[DeeNile]

No she does not know. I don't think she would have a problem if she knew, but quite honestly, I have lurked for years and only very recently became an active member.

[MissTee]

My wife knows, but prefers not to join. She has her favorite forum hangs and prefers to be there.

[Tiffany Jane]

After telling my wife last year that I had joined and we were coming to terms with more openness relating to cding, she joined. She has started two threads to my knowledge...don't keep tabs on her profile as she does not spend a lot of time here. It is therapeutic for me to be here and she understands that it is mostly for balancing out all those mental games that cding plays on an individual. She will ask about what is being written about if she sees me in the forum but doesn't stay that connected.

[Paula_Femme]

Hi Vinni

My girlfriend is a member, in fact the reason I joined in the first place was that I thought it would be an excellent information resource for her. I’m her 1st CD partner and she was on a pretty steep learning curve; we had met online and discussed my ‘dressing extensively before we met face-to-face for the first time.

Mind you, I didn’t introduce her to the site ‘til we’d been out together 3 or 4 times, and I did it while I was with her, so I could log-in and show her the forums, especially “Loved Ones,” which is more “serious” in the main, dealing with relationship issues etc. Reading some of the discussions on the forum about the percentages of us who are gay, bi, eventually transition etc, really helped to allay those, perfectly understandable, fears on her part.

Quite frankly the last thing I wanted her to look at by herself were the “Pink Fog” posts that appear on this board... y’know, the “I love my thongs,” “I wear my wifes/girlfriends clothes when she’s out with her sister,” or, and this is my particular favorite, the, “I’m absolutely 100% straight… except when I’m at a gay bar en femme,” stuff!!! Jeez, it is any wonder that some of our potential partners run screaming for the hills?!?!?!

She never felt the need to join the FAB forum even though that’s the main reason I encouraged her to join; what she read, coupled with our extensive conversations, was enough for her to understand and accept that this is who I am.

Good luck to you both!
Paula

[mary spence]

Although I've read the posts here for quite some time, and just joined, I would not want my wife to join. Perhaps there'll come a time, but I'm fearful of the impact some of the posts would have on her.

[Sallee]

I think my wife know I am a member I have told her. and she has seen me on the site. She is aware of my cding but is more an DADT system. Which I am fine with for the most part. We use to go out together. Intellectually she was fine with it but emotionally not so much

[JamieG]

Yes, my wife knows I'm a member. I don't hide it from her when I reading, and she now recognizes the color scheme. I sometimes tell her about threads that I've read, but she has no interest in joining herself. Every once in a while when she sees I'm on here, she says, "Say high to the ladies for me." So, um, "Hi" from my wife to all of you.

[Nefer]

I don't think my wife knows about the forum, though I don't mind if she does, I'd rather she not join. I'd feel more constrained about what I could say/express

[heatherdress]

My wife knows I am a member. She looked at the site a few times and was interested in my friends and replies, but quickly became uninterested. She fully supports my crossdressing and encourages me to dress and feel the way I want to.

A question - if you hide membership in this site - "What if she discovers your participation as a site member by accident?"

[carahawkwind]

My wife knows I look at forums like this, but not this specific forum. She doesn't care too much about what I do online.

[mbmeen12]

Yes my wife does know. As to telling her, Id shown her initially the importance of GG' participating and to see if she any questions or concerns to post away.

[TinaZ]

My wife calls this site my "frilly friends."

That made me chuckle! Let her know some of us probably are OK with that name.

"Say high to the ladies for me." So, um, "Hi" from my wife to all of you.

Howdy, Mrs. G!

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Vinni,
My SO wasn't aware of my joining the forum before she found out about my CDing.
Skip the long story... I think now that she is aware of the fact that I am spending a lot of my free time
here, she has mixed feelings. On one side, it's keeping me from doing other"more important" tasks, and the other side...
It helps me relieve some stress ( yeah right, like I'm stressed huh?).
Anyway, she does know I'm a member here, and she will read over my shoulder sometimes. I've told her it's not right, she's not seeing everything she could, she could learn more if she joined the FAB, and not to fear the interweb outing me, or her to the world.
(So world, when you do figure out who we are, don't mention you heard about us here thank you.)
Much Love,
Kristyn