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Thread: drab or drag, why no happy medium?

  1. #1
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    drab or drag, why no happy medium?

    gals/guys ...
    I do my lumberjack, workaday clothing, I do my dressing. Why is it just not acceptable to have something in between?

    I mean, why do we have to "be passable" en-femme, or all-male?

    "you can't go out dressed like that!" (Something never said to the kids, by the way)

    I feel this is the nub of something I've yet to grasp. Help appreciated.

    thankyou
    Last edited by pamela7; 02-11-2015 at 08:49 AM. Reason: bit more context

  2. #2
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    There is no reason not to if you are comfortable with it. Most folks need a distinction though and reinforce the "norms" or societal stereotypes even if unknowingly wanting to be one or the other.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  3. #3
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Wearing both just might indicate you have integrated both parts of your personality

  4. #4
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    You want to mix your wardrobes I say go for it. I’ve seen it done, I do live in CA. The person that comes to mind I saw in Hollywood. He had style and confidence. I wear women’s clothes that can go either way in guy mode when I am off work, like jeans, tee shirts, angle boots. If you’re looking for acceptance from the fashion police or the general public, now that’s another thing.

  5. #5
    Reality Check
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    I think you could figure this out if you put your mind to it. Historically, for centuries, men and women have dressed differently. It's what people do. If you don't want to follow convention, that's up to you but you will be the one putting up with the consequences. Is it worth it? Only you can say.

  6. #6
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    If it's acceptable to you, you can do it... there are some notable examples among our members who do quite successfully - but I know there are many who struggle too...

    Once again, it's easier to fall into a binary slot: drab as a guy; or drag and at least, maybe look like a girl... Muggles are comfortable with binaries and a quick glance will categorise you as one or the other because that's what's expected...

    Occupy a middle ground however, and you create dissonance - folk will look for more cues but struggle to put you in one of those slots... but that's their problem, not yours...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  7. #7
    Member JayeLefaye's Avatar
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    Go for it! I mix and match all the time. Be polite and wear it like you mean it. You might be surprised at how much fun it can be, and at how most of Society just doesn't care one way or the other as you go about your business.

    Jaye

  8. #8
    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
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    Eddie Izzard can pull it off, so can any number of rock stars- it helps if you don't give a damn what anybody thinks, you're rich, and you get laid a lot.

    For the rest of us, proceed with caution. When I'm in places where it's more anything-goes, like New Orleans, Las Vegas, or Bali come to that, I dress far more outrageously. I can't imagine Somerset is writhing with glamorous eccentrics, but then nor is Provence. Nice and Cannes are more colorful, but most of France is dead conservative. The worst place I've been recently is Amsterdam- sure they're liberal in terms of what they do and don't permit, but the way they dress! Ugh! It's like a cross between a church fete in Shropshire and expensive hiking gear from LL Bean. Then New Year's Eve happens and all hell breaks loose, but it's the only day of the year.

    I get funny looks here for wearing white tennis shoes with a suit. Actually I quite like funny looks
    I used to have a short attention spa

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I have always thought androgynous was in the middle somewhere.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Jaymees22's Avatar
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    I think everyone is different. Personally I like to compartmentalize everything so it's either all male or all female from head to toe and everything underneath, but that's just me. Hugs Jaymee
    I enjoy being a boy, being a GIRL like me!!!

  11. #11
    Member Erika Lyne's Avatar
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    Hey Pamela,

    First let me say congratulations on your wife joining. It is great to meet the woman who penned such a wonderful post.

    As far as dressing between, hmmm.... I look at my own daily-public wardrobe. It is somewhat "in between." The jeans I wear daily, are women's jeans and it says so right on the back waist band, I just don't care. I wear a women's watch every day and I really don't care what people think. I wear a Pandora charm bracelet frequently that my wife and daughters gave me with charms that they picked out for me because it really means something to me. I'll wear women's t-shirts and other toned down tops as long as there is no obvious adornment again because I kind of don't care what others think. My favorite sweat shirt is teal with a beautifully feminine Tinkerbell printed on the front. I wear many things in my daily public (out of work) life that favor gender neutral except they were bought from the women's department.

    Around the house, I don't always get dolled up. I've mimicked women this way unconsciously. Everyday there is an opportunity for a woman to dress way up but most settle on what's a comfortable place with little to no makeup. It is just a lot of work to put on all of that and to maintain it. Many times I'll wear mostly male drab but throw a denim skirt with it, or totally male with a pair of small dangling earrings with no big hair or makeup or high heels. After all, I'm just kicking around the house. It is a "comfortable place" for me.
    Hugs,
    -E
    Last edited by Erika Lyne; 02-11-2015 at 01:09 PM.
    **Just trying to happily be me.**

    Hugs!
    -E

  12. #12
    Transman Andy66's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pamela7 View Post
    Why is it just not acceptable to have something in between?

    I mean, why do we have to "be passable" en-femme, or all-male?
    Wait, wait, wait... Who said that? I question the authority of whoever made that decision. Theyre not the boss of me. :
    Last edited by Andy66; 02-11-2015 at 01:26 PM.

  13. #13
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    Oh wait a minute, does that mean that I have been doing this all wrong then???

    Seriously, when I am dressed as a guy, I am generally dressed as a mix of genders. I prefer to call it gender non-conforming. I do lots of things that are traditionally seen as feminine. Like keeping my nails painted 24/7. Currently they are painted a sparkly blue! I also do a large variety of other mix ups. It works for me and thus I do it. But I never really have been one to play by the rules!

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member Jackie7's Avatar
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    When I do lumberjack, I wear bulky flannel shirts (solids not plaids please) with girl jeans, guy shoes, and complete underdressing including a bra with matching panties and cami, girdle or spanx if I feel like it, stockings or pantyhose if it's cold. And from how it feels on the inside, there's not much difference between a hat and a wig.

    Feels like a happy medium to me.
    Last edited by Jackie7; 02-11-2015 at 01:37 PM.

  15. #15
    New Member Vinni's Avatar
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    Since my wife has become part of this journey with me she is ok with me leaving the house with modest panties.She picked out and she all my "day time panties" Simple Bali hi-cut nylon spandex blend. They get me thru the day and help me look forward to getting home. I typically wear t-shirt a shorts during the day so upping the attire would be difficult. Perhaps I may someday get a bit more adventurous. Who knows.

  16. #16
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    the good news, i'm upgraded to being allowed OUT (including together) as long as its fully dressed ... woohoo,wayhay ... I'll take that trade.

  17. #17
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I think I've mixed the two for the better part of the last ten years (time out of the closet).
    All my jeans are from the women's section, my socks, sneakers, underwear (Panties for those of us that love the term), some t-shirts, shorts and a few jackets too. Not that the scream CD but they are all from the softer side of the aisle. I don't have to be in full makeup and hair to feel the way I do, but when I do go out somewhere I do prefer to do it full on femme.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  18. #18
    Banned Read only
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    Pamela,
    I would not spoil fem clothes when using my "Huskie" chainsaws but my wife does chip in with the song ! At least I'm doing the MAN bit and keeping us warm !
    I do mix clothes when walking the dog and have had some interesting outings if you care to dig out some of my old threads and see some fun !!

  19. #19
    Banned Spammer
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    I do it like Nadine does a mix of both everyday.
    I may get ma'am'd or called sir it makes no difference to me, it makes life more interesting.
    Yesterday it was more on the female side and the cashier at Wal-Mart told me I like the way you dress its different.
    I asked is that good or bad and she said definitely good.
    So just one persons opinion but I'll take it.

  20. #20
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    My take on this subject, I under dress and wear slim jeans, booties with different heel heights, nails polished mostly clear but now a cream color with gloss top coat and quite long for males, silver bangle bracelets, my hair long and down with waves and small curls, mascara, lipstick a neutral shade and now earrings, working on finding rings and possibly skirts out and about. Don't let anyone tell you what to wear and I'm 60 y.o. If your comfortable in your skin be comfy in your clothes.

  21. #21
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    I mix wardrobe often but I do it with items that can go either way and most would never notice. I love doing it and does make me comfortable

  22. #22
    Aspiring Member
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    I've believed that most male clothing is technically androgynous. And in that vein, much of being en femme for me involves underdressing as well as make-up, hair etc. Just for the record, I have been out wearing 'women's garments' en drab - running shoes, jeans, T-shirts etc. Then again when I cross-dress I still aim for overtly feminine garment cues e.g. sweetheart necklines, chiffon, tulle etc. because I like how they feel.

  23. #23
    Member JessMe's Avatar
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    Some people (myself not included) here are perfectly fine with "something in between. (E.g., underdressing, "guy in a dress", etc.. it just doesn't fit what I personally get out of this (which could fill volumes alone. ) ...I don't discount or devalue other's experience, but Jess is who I am inside, and Jess is how I express outwardly at every opportunity. Jess is a pretty typical girl (with the obvious exception of being born male. ), and she wears girl clothes and does girl things.

  24. #24
    Silver Member Barbara Dugan's Avatar
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    I did it this past weekend, wear all black padded panties skinny jeans and a tight unisex long sleeve shirt with tennis shoes , of course my face close shaved and since I am letting my hair grow , it was a kind of androgynous look... the good thing my boyfriend loved it and we went to several stores, I felt very comfortable and blended really well.

  25. #25
    New Member Kylee-Blackstad's Avatar
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    Each one of us is uniquely socially situated. Based on the evaluation of our sets of circumstances, we act accordingly.

    I have a large amount of freedom and little risk to my person, so I dress feminine 24/7.

    I also identify as Femme (Femme Man), and wish to be perceived as such. I feel it is my more natural gender expression.
    Smi mens jernet er varmt.
    "Don't laugh just cause my bra's stuffed with socks!"
    ♫ "I'm your ch-ch-ch-ch-CHERRY BOMB!" ♫

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