drab or drag, why no happy medium?

[mechamoose]

I dress 'in between' all the time. I mix modes & clothing almost every day. It *is* possible to do, but I think it is a more complicated approach than just doing one or the other (Not to diminish the efforts involved in "transformative dressing"). You have to figure out where the edges are, where things are close to crossing over between 'butch' and 'femme' without crossing over.

I might wear a skirt to the market, or dress in slacks and a pretty girl top. My hair might be in a severe pull-pack into a pony tail or be loose & floofy. I might be wearing eye makeup along side my tattoos and beard. I might be in 'guy mode' clothing with shiny fingernails and earrings.

Lots of options available, you just have to find ones that fit you.

<3

- MM

[heatherdress]

I dress "Heather Lite" a lot. I wear female, female booties, undergarments, some jewelry, even some subtle make-up. Depends on wear I am going. It is sometimes more fun.

[mechamoose]

Girl panties and hose are a *given*.. So easy to hide. Sports bras are simple things to camouflage in winter.

My 4" heels? Not so much.

- MM

[justmetoo]

There's nothing wrong with either, both, a "happy medium". Whatever works for each person. It's all good.

[donnalee]

Done it so often I forgot which way guy or girl buttons go.
Recently I bought 2 trenchcoats, one classic gabardine with a liner, the other white wool, Both are double breasted and can be worn either way and I couldn't remember which was which!

[Marcelle]

Hi Pamela,

IMHO, while some here may believe there are rules to Cross Dressing Club . . . there are none. Dress the way you feel you need to dress. For some it may pink chiffon dresses with pretty pink bows and stiletto heels, for others it may be jeans, top and boots while others may mix male and female clothing for an androgynous look. Some may like to wear make-up and shave while for others it is not their thing. We all need to do what makes us feel good.

Hugs

Isha

[pamela7]

Thanks everyone,
Isha, I think this is the key - no rules, and just a matter of deciding on how the outer world meets me. Definitely I'm confusing other people being "man in a dress", whereas they clearly say they're happy if I'm all one or all the other.

If I/we are to successfully challenge humanity's dualistic mindset, this is one unavoidable way of doing it - lumberjack AND strumpet!

"You only live twice!"

[charlenesomeone]

Women's jeans often, and Jean shorts. Always underdressed no matter when. I echo the others it's what you are comfortable with and if others you care for are comfortable with if that matters.

[pamela7]

yes, those we care for, and yet I wonder, are we protecting them from diversity or keeping them in-stereotype by not revealing all?

[kimdl93]

Of course you can mix and match to you're hearts content, in private. In public I have found that when I wore combination of male and female presented a discordant appearance, more likely to attract attention that if I go fully en femme. I suppose it is noticeable because it's uncommon

[sometimes_miss]

I mean, why do we have to "be passable" en-femme, or all-male?

As long as you don't mind people assuming that you're gay/trans, or answering 'that question' about your sexuality, no problem. Wear female stuff; we'd all like to, just don't want to deal with the annoyance from idiots. Even today, wear pink often enough seems to make some people automatically question sexual preference. Even when it's just a pair of normal white boxers that clearly got tinged when in with some red object in the laundry, there will always be some assholes that feel the need to bring up the gay question.

[StarrOfDelite]

For some reason, my basic needs are satisfied if I can put on some light makeup (thin eyeliner but no eye shadow, medium red/pink lipstick, eyebrow pencil), a pair of interesting earrings, and a wig, and see myself and not my male alter ego when I look in the mirror. Not that I would wear a Brooks Brothers 3 piece suit and black wingtips when I have the aforedescribed look, but if I am satisfied with my face I really don't care what clothes I'm wearing, and I feel just as Femme if I'm wearing cargo jeans and a oxford cloth button down under a sweatshirt as if I was wearing a skirt and blouse.

As has been pointed out by several other posters, we are all different, and I do what satisfies me individually and don't worry whether someone else thinks I am a crossdresser, an androgyne, a pre-op, or a transsexual.

[lucyUk]

I try too mix and match, I pretty much live in my female skinny jeans and trousers, jumpers, tops and t shirts. They're not overly feminine, but not too masculine either. I try to carry off a gender neutral style. I have a couple of pairs of female ankle boots which go great with my skinnys

I am lucky (or unlucky) that I am quite petite, so the majority of guys clothes unless they're an extra small are simply too big for me, which makes going shopping for my guy side quite difficult....but as a result most of my shopping is actually from womens clothing shops

[CynthiaD]

Why no happy medium? Because fully en femme is much happier than a happy medium!

But seriously, dress however you want.

One of my favorite "drab" outfits is embroidered jeans with a navy-blue cowl-neck top and open-toed flats with a bow in front. No breastforms and no wig. I've gotten a few comments, like "Are you a girl?" (No, not right now.) One woman told me she liked my outfit, but she would never wear panty hose with jeans. (I wear pantyhose all the time, because I'm prone to blood clots, and they help my circulation.) It's fun.

[justmetoo]

Sure, if a happy medium is what you want that's great. Some people don't, they prefer to dress fully femme when they are able to. That's great, too. Neither is wrong or better or worse or whatever. That's what I meant when I said it's all good.

[UNDERDRESSER]

I'm doing it right now. I have on a long heavy knittted fabric skirt, and a men's sweater. Fairly typical wear for an evening around the house. Have been given permision from my boss to wear skirts at work. ( building up my courage for that one ) Typically shave my head becuse of male patttern baldness, there is no attempt to look female.

[ReineD]

Eddie Izzard can pull it off, so can any number of rock stars- it helps if you don't give a damn what anybody thinks, you're rich, and you get laid a lot.

For the rest of us, proceed with caution.

This.

How social are you? How important is it for you to be involved in various social circles, outside of the TG community? If it is, then don't come out unless you live in a place like San Francisco maybe. What about your job? And if in a relationship, what does your partner think? If not, how important is it for you to find a partner?

If you're rather a loner and you don't mind, then dress the way you like. People on the street will not say anything to you. Their internal reactions will be mixed. There will be a few at one end who will judge you harshly. There will be a few at the other end who will admire your courage in expressing yourself. And the large middle will be split between those who don't care and those who will be amused. But, no one (or very few) will say anything.

[Michelle_G]

It depends on the audience. If we are out locally , I keep it more low key. I do have a few pairs of juniors jeans and pants that don't really look girly. If I am at home or we go away where I am not likely to meet anyone from work, I will wear juniors skinny jeans,jeggings, leggings, lycra yoga capris, and uggs knockoffs. My wife and I went away for our anniversary in the fall and I wore my skinnys and uggs the entire weekend. We take a lot of camping trips in the summer and I frequently wear my yoga capris with a long t shirt. Spent the day at Hershey Park in a long t shirt and black Danskin yoga capris last summer. Most people didn't seem to give me a second glance. I would see a few people do a double take once in a great while , usually a teenage girl, but not enough to make me feel like the hunchback of notre dame.

[suchacutie]

Personally, I don't want an "in between". I have two gendered selves and we keep them as separate as possible. If I'm in between I'm not sure who I am!

But that's just me (us?)

[LexiNexi]

The dichotomy is what makes it exist.

[happybra]

I am very happy under dressing.