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Thread: "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum"

  1. #1
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum"

    How did you find your way to here?
    What gave you the courage to sign up?
    Or did you sign up with glad relief to find other like-minded souls?

    I did not even know the term "cross-dressing". I did not even know the term "underdressing", it was just something I did. When the urge came to start wearing the clothes I looked on the net, finding news stories like "men who wear women's clothes", news stories about men in tights, took a few days, until I finally found the words "cross dressing". I searched and found the forum, and the rest is history, phew, relief. I did not really even know what I was looking for until I found it. What did we do before the internet?

    Does anyone else share a story of accidentally stumbling on this place?


    xxx Pamela

  2. #2
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    I stumbled across just as you did. Typed crossdressers in Google, looked at the site a few times and then signed on.
    "Normal is just an illusion, what is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly" - Morticia Addams

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Pamela,
    Signing up to online forum was out of desperation to try and get off the rollercoaster ride I was on !
    A year or so ago I would never have dreamed of having a female name and the courage to post a picture of myself ! I may still suffer for that but I'm far better equipped now to deal with that situation if it arises !
    As for the question of what we did before the internet ? Crossdress for fifty years ! It wasn't the internet that got me started it was sexual urges !

  4. #4
    Senior Member MissTee's Avatar
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    I wound up here after surfing for CD support sites. There were tons of naked people sites as well as fetish sites. Not at all what I was looking for. I had almost given up and then found this site. I lurked for a while (a few months) then stepped up and joined.

  5. #5
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    You don't know how fortunate you are to have discovered crossdressing after discovering the internet. Many of us who grew up as crossdressers without online resources thought we were lone deviants.
    When I got a computer and internet, the first thing I searched for was crossdressing.

  6. #6
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi Pamela,

    Like a few others, I had reached a point of mass confusion, guessed what I might be then set the internet on Google Auto Cruise and found this place. Have been here since.

    Hugs

    Isha

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member EllenJo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NicoleScott View Post
    You don't know how fortunate you are to have discovered crossdressing after discovering the internet. Many of us who grew up as crossdressers without online resources thought we were lone deviants.
    When I got a computer and internet, the first thing I searched for was crossdressing.
    Nicole, I was the same way. The first AOL account that I had, I looked up crossdressing and discovered that I was not a lone pervert. I had felt alone for so many years. The only information about cross dressing was found at adult bookstores and most of it was about sexual situations such as forced feminization. After the internet the whole world opened up. For all the young members here, I am so glad that you can come here and learn about yourself among those that have gone before you.

    Hugs
    Ellen Jo
    Somtimes the light's all shining on me, Other times I can barely see.
    Lately it's occured to me.....What a long strange trip it has been.
    Truckin by the Grateful Dead

  8. #8
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pamela7 View Post
    How did you find your way to here?
    Don't remember. Probably clicked on a link while shopping for some type of girl stuff.
    What gave you the courage to sign up?
    Anonymity. And, I saw a lot of disinformation here. I wanted to contribute, and at least share what I learned about myself and how I wound up being a crossdresser; so many just wanted to leave it all up to 'I was born this way' when I know for a fact that does not hold true for all of us, and by ignoring other causes it can bring on all kinds of problems.
    Or did you sign up with glad relief to find other like-minded souls?
    I found the mass existance of other crossdressers way back in the early 90's when I found the usenet. Alt.transgendered was a wild place, an electronic bullitin board inhabited by all kinds of people from everywheree on the planet; male, female, mtf, ftm, gay, straight, bi, where anything goes, there was no moderator, no censorship of any kind. It was there that I learned a lot about other crossdresser's reasons for their behavior and much about their lives, and that the 'born that way' was often a cop out to avoid dealing with psychological trauma that we were exposed to in our past. It was also where I came across wives of other crossdressers who had come there to learn about their husband's and what might be causing him to want to dress or be female. The censorship and editing here sometimes bothers me, but then again I don't own the forum, so I don't make the rules. As long as I can contribute, I will stay here. If and when it gets to the point where I don't feel I can help anyone, I'll leave, and just hope that my bio will remain in the writers forum as an example of how easily childhood influences can really screw up a kid's gender identity, no 'born this way' genetics involved.

    What did we do before the internet?
    Libraries and book stores. I had learned about Christine Jorgensen back in the early 70's, and that inspired more research into the transgender studies. I spent lots of time in the New York public library, because local libraries didn't have much material on sexuality. Then one of the people working there suggested the big Barnes and Noble book store to find more up to date information. There's still a wealth of information in printed media, but without going to the libraries and book stores and browsing, you probably won't find it. Going to amazon and searching just shows titles and little of what's in the book.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  9. #9
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    My need to cross dress was beginning to boil inside me. I was being an a$$ to my wife and I wanted to find some forum where others might be like me. A simple google search required sifting through porn central. But I got here. It helped and a friend here helped me come out to my wife.

    When there was no internet, I was alone in this.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Tina B.'s Avatar
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    Back in the early days of my computer life I found a pay site for Crossdressers and joined it. That lasted for a couple of years until I got tired of the TS crowd trying to convince everyone they where just one step off of being ready to transition, and anyone that didn't understand that was just stupid.
    Well since I've been dressing all my life, and had no interest in transitioning, I got tired of people trying to convince me different. I gave up my membership with them, and after a long time searching, I found this site, it took a week of reading to decide this was the place for me. Best use of a search engine ever!
    Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.

  11. #11
    Diva Victoria Demeanor's Avatar
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    And that’s what I love about this forum and this site is you hear those similar thoughts and experiences as your own. I too went to the internet searching for an answer to these feeling and desires; I kinda knew or thought I had an idea of what cross dressing was, but with the internets obsession with sex, dating and the bizarre I was getting very frustrated. I was really getting ready to give up and just conclude that this was some dark sexual fetish when I found this place. To tell you the truth I’m not even sure how I found it, one day it was just there and the more I read the more I realized I was not alone. I signed up with glee and feel at home here. I very recently came out to my wife and we are trying to work things out, but this is where I sent her for more information.
    Well that’s my story and I’m sticking to it
    Love and hugs
    Victoria
    When I am still and quiet, people who do not know me think, Oh how cute she's shy.
    People who do know me think, OMG RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Girls will be boys and boys will be girls It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola

  12. #12
    Junior Member DeeNile's Avatar
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    I don't remember how I came to this site. I have lurked as a visitor for a long time. I recently became active on this site because I have decided to make changes in my life. It began with coming out to my family doctor. She has been treating me for depression for several years. Independently, but also on her recommendation, I began to talk to a therapist as of yesterday. Hands down, best thing I have ever done. I have decided to face my fears, step out of the shadows, and take charge of my life. Becoming active on this forum is an extension of that.

  13. #13
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    This forum is prominent when using any search engine.
    Because it is relatively flameless and devoid of harsh and ridiculous criticism I find it a winner and a safe place to be.
    We may not always agree with the administration but it is best to bite your tongue and see why certain rules and arguments are applied.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
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    I made many sacrifices. I wandered in the desert. I searched deep within myself. Finally it came to me, as in a dream.

    Sorry, what was the question again?
    I used to have a short attention spa

  15. #15
    Banned Spammer
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    I searched CD and hit a nasty nasty dating/porn site so I backed out.
    Saw CD.com and thought oh no more of the same nasty stuff but was surprised to find a place that was free of the porn fetish aspect.
    Took a few days of browsing and I joined.

  16. #16
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Google. The way I find everything.

  17. #17
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    okay, so how did you first discover the term "cross-dresser"/"cross-dressing"?

  18. #18
    Silver Member paulaprimo's Avatar
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    honestly, i don't even remember how i found this site.
    but i know i stumbled across it some how...
    and for me it was a relief to find like-minded girls!
    paula

  19. #19
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    I was flying over one day. The plane suddenly had mechanical problems. After steering it away from the town I jumped out. A sudden gust of wind threw the parachute off course. I ended up landing right at the front door. I saw all these ladies coming and going so I decided to go in to use the phone. A long story short, I'm still here waiting on my ride.

  20. #20
    Junior Member marilyn m's Avatar
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    found crossdressers.com after becoming member of uk cd/tg community

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member Christen's Avatar
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    Can't say I stumbled into this pit of vipers .. sorry, that's one of the other sites. No, I was just overjoyed when I did take a peek in to CD.com that I found such a balanced and usually objective site and bunch of people.
    And before the internet, well anything to do with TG/CD in papers and magazines always caught my eye, but it gave you a pretty jaundiced view of it all. And yes, as Jen said I was alone in all this.

    Christen x
    “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
    and rightdoing there is a field.
    I'll meet you there.” - Rumi.

  22. #22
    Silver Member Kandi Robbins's Avatar
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    Google, like many others. Back then, I was a lurker (is that even a word?). Came out to myself and then to my wife, set up Kandi's e-mail and "identity", signed up and jumped in with both feet!
    Pictures and stories of every time out: https://www.flickr.com/photos/131254150@N06/.

    Google "Kandi's Land" and visit my blog for positive and uplifting posts!

  23. #23
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    : Hi Pam. I knew the turm Crossdresser and after coming out to my wife. I looked for whatever I could find on crossdressing and found this froum the was 8 years ago.And I'm still here.And would like to welcome you.
    Angie

  24. #24
    W.Y.S.I.W.Y.G. Jason+'s Avatar
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    Google and company had largely failed me at finding more than the seedy underbelly sites. This site was recommended in either "My Husband Wears My Clothes" or "My Husband Betty," I forget which of the two it was. I signed up here hoping to find people to relate to on a higher level than "what color are your panties" or my least favorite request to "role play housewives." (Never seemed to go well when I would tell them I didn't have to role play as I was in the middle of laundry and here's what I will be cooking for dinner.)

    While I've had the odd run in or two this place has been phenomenal for me overall and the closest match of the available choices.
    "You are not an accident, nor are you malfunctioning. You are performing EXACTLY as coded." For many "Man in a Dress" is the worst atrocity commit-able; for me it's just reality. Click to Learn About Me. Click to Complain About Me! There is a fine line between brutal honesty and honest brutality. It is rarely in the same place for the sender and the receiver.

  25. #25
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    My wife and I discovered "Tina" one Saturday morning. Those who have seen me here over the years know that I had no indication that I had any kind of feminine self lurking in background, but after a series of incredible coincidences, my wife and I suddenly became aware that this was something we needed to investigate. We knew nothing about this incredible world of being transgendered, so we headed off to the internet and found this site. It seemed extensive so I signed up (the name Tina was agreed upon the next day). This site has been a wealth of information and has made a difference in Tina's life!

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