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Thread: Not a Good Day - This is not a feel good thread

  1. #1
    Gone to live my life
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    Not a Good Day - This is not a feel good thread

    WARNING - This is a not a usual Isha thread and does not have a good story behind it but more a healthy dose of reality.

    Hi all,

    I labored long on deciding whether to post this or not but then realized that part my journey is a learning experience for me which I share here. I have only had good experiences out and about (with the exceptions of a few giggles and guffaws from others) so this is an oddity or "one of" and daresay not typical of what we normally face when out and about. However, in the interest of expressing a balanced view of things and educating, I have decided to share that which to date is the worst experience I have had out and about. It is not meant to scare others it is meant to educate.

    This past Sunday was a lazy day and I had decided to meet some friends in the city to see a movie. When I travel into the city, I normally take public transit as parking can be a nightmare. However, since I had some errands to run and it was Sunday, I decided to take my car. The day was uneventful and I met up with my friends at 3PM to go to the movie. The movie ended we went for dinner and then parted. I had noticed three younger men staring at us (more precisely me) in the restaurant and when I had got up to use the bathroom I heard the usual "tranny comments" but just let it go as the machinations of a few D-Bags.

    I had parked a but further away from my friends at a cheaper lot and though they offered to drive me to the lot (given hindsight I should have taken the lift), I declined as it was only a few blocks away and I felt like walking off a rather large dinner. As I approached the lot I heard the laughter of some guys followed by "Hey there's the freak" . . . at that point I needed to get to my car ASAP but they closed the distance quite quickly and ended between me and my car. I won't go into great detail about the vile things they said but needless to say it was not pleasant. Now, standing my ground against three is not going to go well but I could not let them see fear or it would go bad quickly. So I stated, that "while they will most likely beat me badly one of them is going to go to the emergency room with me so they best decide who that will be". There was a moment's pause in all of them, they looked around and then said "F it, the freak's not worth it" and walked past me.

    I stood still for a couple of seconds, composed myself and headed to my car. It was at that point that I felt the fist to back of my head and though I would like to say I went down fighting . . . never happened. I was kicked furiously but had learned to draw my knees up to my mid-section and arms around my face. They land a few good kicks to my back. I truly thought this was it for me but then I heard some shouting and few other men ran up and the guys took off (cowards are always afraid of even odds). The men helped me up and even though they realized I was TG they treated me with the utmost respect and decency. They offered to call the police but I declined (I know, I should have reported it but to be honest what is to be gained). Could I recognize these D-Bags again? I suppose but that will be for another day as there will be a reckoning.

    So here I sit nursing a thrown back (went out when I fell) and few bruised ribs and various bruises not to mention a bruised ego and feeling stupid for putting myself in such a situation. I will heal and this has not lessened my resolve in going out. However, as bad as it was it could have been worse and what I took away was not as some may think . . . that going out dressed is dangerous. Going out anytime regardless of how you present is dangerous . . . this could have been just as easily a mugging. What I learned is that irrespective of the haters out there, there are those who are decent and will help regardless of how they see you. The men who helped me that night didn't care I was TG (it was obvious as my wig came off during the struggle) . . . one of the men handed me back my wig and said "Here you go miss" and that restored my faith in humanity.

    Hugs

    Isha

  2. #2
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    So glad that you were not hurt any worse than you were. Small minded people can be so mean and hurtful. In the past I have gone out alone but I only go out with my wife now, I think there is safety in numbers. Hope you heal soon.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Isha,
    I am sure others have similar stories to tell, not many I hope.

    Surrounded by goodness and niceness here we can lose sight of reality easily.

    When out and about I duck down lanes to take a short cut and sometimes run into a dead end.

    On one of these occasions I was surprised to see my exit blocked by three guys larger than myself.

    Obviously a tourist I thought I would get rolled, thankfully no.

    I do feel for you on this occasion and it is a heads up for me as back alley shortcuts in Chicago, London and Paris have always been good to me.

    Yes, I know that someday.......

    All I can preach to othere is stay safe and remember your surroundings.

    It is extremely risky by comparison when dressed.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  4. #4
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    is a good ending, and we're mightily relieved you're safe
    i guess you know to accept the lift to your car in future, and also to track such people AFTER you think its all over - to escape the attack
    as you say, cowards and luckily some heroes
    trust your intuition and stay hyper-aware when out

    xxx Pamela

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member krissy's Avatar
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    So glad your ok .Its so sad we cant just be left alone.Hang in there ,dont let them discourge you .They were just a bunch of morons

  6. #6
    GG, SO to Pamela7
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    Blimey Isha, what a story! Sadly, this is what it can be like being female out alone too - I have had a fairly sheltered life and even so there have been times when I have felt scared for my safety thanks to groups of men who think that it is a good laugh to make other people afraid of what they might do. There was even one very unpleasant occasion when a friend of a friend had drunk far too much and ended up forcing his way into my car as I was leaving an evening out, and only finally got out when he realised that he was too drunk to actually carry out all the things that he was threatening to do to me. Going out alone as a girl has its problems!

    Let's hope that the bruises heal quickly, and you can find a good chiro to sort your back out. Then you can get back to being yourself again properly, and put that bunch of cowards behind you (preferable down a sewer somewhere with all the other s**t). I've said this on other posts and I will say it again, I think that you are all awesome, and I am full of admiration for everyone who can give full expression to all sides of themselves.

    PS - I love your avatar pics, you look amazing!

  7. #7
    its important mykell's Avatar
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    isha, im really at a loss for words, you are the last person i would expect to have written this post,
    in a world where you can be hit like that anywhere or anytime with a sucker punch just because its seen on the interweb was always disturbing when seen on the news, now added to the fact that it was just for the clothes you wore and were in no way bothering anyone has me extremely upset.

    i just hope that with the comfort of those who helped you find that in a whole society will do the right thing and i hope with all my heart that karma is served and you may witness it firsthand, it always has a better flavor that way....

    best wishes for a speedy recovery from your wounds and your faith....
    Last edited by mykell; 02-17-2015 at 07:33 AM.
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member aprilgirl's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry that you had to endure such a harrowing experience Isha. Your bruises will heal with time and I trust it won't impact your will in expressing yourself in the future. I agree with your assessment that bad things can happen anytime, regardless how one presents, but I can't help but feel you may have been targeted in this instance. You were indeed blessed by those decent men who became involved. As for the idiots, take solace in the fact that those clowns have to live their lives utilizing their little, pathetic brains.

  9. #9
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    A hate crime pure and simple. I'm glad you are okay my friend. What goes around comes around in any case.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member phylis anne's Avatar
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    Wow of all people on this board this is a shocker Glad to hear you are ok there is always a group of jerks out there somewhere glad to hear regardless of your presentation that someone was good enough to stand with you and help you
    hugs and feel better phylis

  11. #11
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    Very sorry to hear this Isha. Hope you heal quickly and your back doesn't give you long term problems. I imagine there'll be some new rules for you when you go out again? Hugs from all of us!

  12. #12
    Claire Claire Cook's Avatar
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    Dear Isha,

    Like everyone else it's so hard for me to believe that this happened to you of all people. It is indeed a cold-shower wakeup to all of us that these things can happen, and a warning that we have to be careful. We think we want to be like women -- and then the reality sets in of what women (and TG's ...) really face out there. Maybe we should have a permanent thread about how to foresee and deal with such situations.

    The bright side is that those men came to your aid, and that you'll recover, hopefully with no back problems. You've been such a rock for us, we hope we can try to be that for you.

    Thank you for sharing this, and by all means take care,

    Claire
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club

  13. #13
    Silver Member Mollyanne's Avatar
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    After reading your horrifying tale and letting it "sit in my head" for a while my thoughts went very quickly to really how bad that could have turned out. Yes, you got hurt (body and ego) but the good thing (if you want to call it that) is the fact that you weren't shot, stabbed or really brutally beaten. Our instincts tell us to do something for our own protection and we should follow them, but to often we take certain circumstances for granted. It is a fact that cowards ALWAYS appear in a group to "gang up" on one person. Maybe, just maybe there day will come for retribution.

    Molly
    "To thine own self be true"

  14. #14
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Isha, I'm glad you survived the ordeal.

    "...........and though they offered to drive me to the lot (given hindsight I should have taken the lift), I declined as it was only a few blocks away......."

    How 'bout some better judgement next time. We would all miss your posts should something unspeakable happen.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  15. #15
    Senior Member Lori Kurtz's Avatar
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    That's a harrowing story, but I'm glad you told it--for two reasons: 1. You need some support right now, and this is a uniquely appropriate place to get it. Incidentally, while none of us deserves to be treated this way, you are an especially valuable person at this site and especially un-deserving of abuse, because your wisdom and insights are no doubt helpful to many people here whom you don't even know about. 2. While it shows us all how scary a world we live in, and how senselessly vicious some people can be, it also shows how compassionate and decent some people can be.

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member JeanetteX's Avatar
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    Dear Isha,

    I'm shocked after reading your story. Those kind of people are animals, sorry but I have no other words for them (well in fact I do but then I guess I'll get banned from the forum).

    Get well soon...not just physically but especially mentally.

  17. #17
    Madam Ambassador Heidi Stevens's Avatar
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    I do hope you heal quickly, Isha. These morons were definitely looking for a weaker target to prey on, it happened to be you this time. They probably thought they had a stereotypical effeminate gay man and not a special forces member who expresses his feminine side! But even your training does no good when out numbered. I'm glad you remembered to cover your vital organs during your attack. All that special forces training was worth it to prevent more serious injury.
    What you ran into was the lowest of the low, idiots who prey on the weak to make themselves feel bigger than they are.
    Please file a report with the police so your experience is not a total loss. If your description of these Bozos puts them away, then some other poor defenseless soul may be spared something worse.
    Get better soon and get back on that horse, cowgirl! Hugs
    Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member Jackie7's Avatar
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    Isha thank you for your honesty, courage, and your amazing ability to put your focus on the good in a very bad experience. So glad you are with us, so glad this was not worse. I'll be taking more care being out myself as a result of your ordeal. So proud to be your friend here!

  19. #19
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    Hi Isha, That was a very sad story to read, That's always a fear that we have to live with.
    I wish you a very speedy recovery.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  20. #20
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    Thanks for sharing Isha, Haven't we all gotten close to this awful situation? I've had some threatening comments and I've had a beer thrown at me in Kingston. Two or three drinks earlier this jerk-off's aim might have been better...
    This is a cautionary tale for all of us.
    I used to carry a small wooden bat, you know...the kind you get for smacking a pike when you're fishing. But an off-duty female Ottawa cop told me that, unless I was fishing at the time, if I ever used it I could be charged for carrying a concealed weapon! She suggested I carry a metal flashlight with a long strap and a really loud referee's whistle in my purse.
    Again, Isha I am so sorry for you and I hope you can do some real internal healing, but I am grateful that you've given us this tragic but real heads-up.
    Boldly go, but smartly go as well.
    Last edited by ophelia; 02-17-2015 at 08:54 AM.

  21. #21
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    I'm so glad you are alright.

    Such a cautionary tale. Rare indeed, something like this CAN happen to any of us who brave this (typically wonderful) world of ours.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  22. #22
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Glad you are ok

  23. #23
    New "old" girl Suzie Petersen's Avatar
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    Dearest Isha,
    I am so sorry you had to experience that and like everyone here I wish you a speedy recovery, both body and soul.
    As Welshgirl mentioned, your personal safety is part of what any woman mush consider all the time. We often still think like a man when we go out presenting as women, and that puts us at risk. Whenever I hear the classic stories of "I went out for the first time, so I chose to walk around some dark alleys to not be seen" it sends a shiver down my spine!

    I know it is an unpleasant thought, but you must report this to the police!
    Unlike you, these thugs just had a great experience! Their evening was a success with a positive outcome, it was a fun evening which they will remember and share laughs about for years to come, and they _will_ do this again!
    Next time the result could be a rape or a homicide!

    They were at the restaurant. Someone else saw them there too, staff or other guests. They might be regulars. You heard them make comments towards you, others might have heard it as well. They might have paid with a credit card which can identify them.

    Of all the people I have read posts from on this forum, You would be the one who could take the pressure of going to the police about this. This is a hate crime and these guys must be stopped before they hurt someone else! You have the power to stop them!

    Warm hugs
    Suzie

  24. #24
    Junior Member SandraV's Avatar
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    Hello Isha,
    I am so sorry this has happened to you. I find myself speechless and sad at reading your unfortunate encounter with those scumbags. Remember, the only freaks in this story are those that have to justify their pitiful existence by hurting others that have the courage to be themselves. Keep your head high Isha and wish you a speedy recovery.

  25. #25
    Happy to be me!! S. Lisa Smith's Avatar
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    Nothing to add except my support and my hope that you heal quickly!!
    Please call me Lisa!

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