Is there a correlation between crossdressing and childhood trauma?

[Gillian Gigs]

It seems to be human nature to ask the question of "why", and too many of us in the process attempt to put everyone in the same box after answering the question. Is it possible to have a childhood trauma lead you down a particular path to somewhere...yes. We do not live in a one size fits all world, so I assume the question is a curiousity to see if there are many of us out there that would fit the bill.

In my case, I would consider it a childhood trauma that lead me down this CD path. A common punishment from 4 years upward was being dressed in various forms of girls clothes as a punishment. Was this to emasculate me, no, I don't think so, but to shame me, yes. It seems so ironic that my Dad wanted a man's man for a son and didn't get one, could it have been a result of the punishments, who knows. Did this shape my personality into what it is today, probably, but one will never know for sure, and that only leads to more questions.

We are who we are and if one person wants to justify their actions by saying it was a trauma, does it make it any different than the person who says it is in their genetic make up. If your justification helps you sleep at night, then it at least gave you a good nights sleep. We all have to learn to deal with it and get on with life. Through my time on this site I have bounced around in my thinking about who/why I am and I suspect that others have also. I questioned my thoughts about how far this will go, it is kind of like watching a pendulum swing from one extreme to the other. Through these swings I have personally come to the point of finding my happy medium, and I hope others do to. Another question is has the pendulum stopped moving yet?

I think that these type of questions are a good thing, because it gets me thinking and helps me focus on helping myself become a better person, and helping others to become all we can be inspite who we are.

[lingerieLiz]

I think that because we don't know why we search for "a cause". We humans are a complicated mass of cells. There may be many causes and or combination there of. We have trouble defining the condition.

[Zylia]

Correlation obviously is something that can be measured, but judging from this thread alone, there's hardly an 100 percent score for cross-dressers with a (significant) childhood trauma, kinda ruling out any kind of general causation. That's not say there's no relation in some cases, but it might be the other way around, e.g. you have or developed this not quite masculine gender identity, causing you to behave in certain ways, not 'approved' by the (inherently masculine) 'cool kids'. I'm not saying that's 100 percent the case either, I'm just suggesting that we might be oversimplifying things here.

Either way, I'm not in support of any 'single-cause' theory, but I would love to be proven wrong.

[Traceyjo]

I had a happy trauma free childhood but I was quite shy and had difficulty communicating with girls. I had a very strong sexual drive and attraction to females but didn't have a relationship with one until I was 22. I found other ways to explore my sexual drive and I'm amazed that I didn't crossdress in my youth because I found out after 10 years of marriage how sexually exciting it was when I tried it. I feel my need to find outlets for my sexual urges in adolescence led to me experimenting with crossdressing later in life. I am certain I would have loved doing it when I was younger.

[CarlaWestin]

I really don't mean to be dismissive, but I've read this screenplay before -- it's been used to explain homosexuality, bisexuality, why spouses cheat, why BDSM people follow that practice and probably more.

Of all the information here, this sums it up for me. Youngest of five. Two wonderful parents with diverse personalities raised us all to enjoy life, own your challenges and put yourself through school. Five success stories. I always felt as though too much parental attention was annoying.

[Marcelle]

Hi Mink,

To be honest, I think humans are too complex (psyche wise) to chalk things up to one point in childhood. The root causes of being anywhere on the TG spectrum are going to differ depending on where you are and even then they will differ from person to person. While certain traumas in childhood can manifest themselves as personality constructs in later life, it is not always the case. So to say a childhood trauma can be linked (correlated) to CDing would mean that any child who suffered a similar trauma would become TG and from the responses thus far . . . I don't see it. Not saying it could not happen, but it would most likely be one of the extraneous variables added to the mix affecting some but not others.

Hugs

Isha

[NicoleScott]

Even if it can be shown that there's a correlation, don't make the leap to causation. Maybe, as Zylia points out, trauma didn't cause the crossdressing, but the reverse.
Long ago in psychology class, the professor told that a correlation was made between burglaries and ice cream sales (hint: this correlation was made before ubiquitous A/C). Hey, we can cut down the crime rate by stopping ice cream sales.

[Confucius]

I believe the biggest clue on how we got this way, is found in the fact that most males can wear feminine clothing and not feel anything special, however a small percentage, 3-5%, experience sensations of well-being, pleasure, gratification and bonding. For these people it is just as if their brain is interpreting crossdressing as actual contact with a female.

This clue directs us to how the brain is hardwired. In our case stimulus in one sensory pathway leads to an automatic, involuntary, response in a secondary neural pathway. So crossdressing may be a form of synesthesia. In our very early years, <3 years old, our brain are producing neural connections at a feverish pace and by the time you are 3 years old you have many, many more neural connections in your brain than an adult. Then the brain goes through a process of pruning based upon our learning experiences. Some neural connections are reinforced while others are cut. If you receive some traumatic experience that tells you that being a girl is better than being a boy during this period then you may have set the neural connections in place. However by the time we reach 7 years old, we undergo childhood amnesia where we lose most of our memories from early childhood.

Your brain undergoes a second critical period of synaptogenesis - during puberty. So these neural connections between wearing feminine clothing and experiencing the sensation of contact with a female can be set in place in our early formative years or during adolescence.

This is all theoretical but it works well for me. In my case there was no real childhood trauma. However my childhood was marked by my mother telling me that she wanted a daughter when I was born, and a year after I was born, my sister was born. My sister was my mother's little princess, loved, spoiled and pampered. I grew up thinking that parents just love girls more than boys, and that my mother would have loved me more if I was born a girl. I've been crossdressing for as long as I can remember.

[Rhanda]

Can't it be that some of us just like the freedom to dress as we please? I have always thought that I have as much right to wear wonderful styles as anyone. I also have been wearing makeup daily (almost) since about the age of 16. I just don't try to look like a girl all the time. If I'm dressed very fem I make-up accordingly and have a good feeling about it. I still don't think that I am trying to be a woman. I'm just a cross dresser. I have to admit though that I am thrilled if someone addresses me with a "mam".

Rhanda

[Amy Fakley]

I have a theory that left-handedness is a result of having been told by our fathers that they had wished for a left handed child. From then on, our brains set up a dopamine-based reward system making us feel good when doing things with our left appendages.

Hence it is totally not our fault that we are left handed.

If not that, then it must be exposure to Doctor Who. Everyone I've ever met that was left handed also liked that show. Either way, it's definitely not our fault that we are left handed.

some say that we're born left handed, but people can learn to use their right hands if they really want to. So that can't be true. It must be a preference, or some kind of conditioning!

Why are some people left handed? It makes no since!!
But then again. It doesn't really matter, and the reason why matters even less.

[Lily Catherine]

I wouldn't depend entirely on memories and anecdotes (but I cannot neglect them) as they are highly personalized constructs to begin with, and subjective ones at that. At any rate, having the 2 correlated would only be an intersection of the set of cross-dressers and the set of those who've experienced childhood trauma of some kind. As we all have our own individualized narratives to begin with, there are various factors that affect its course and that trauma might be one of them in some. It's unwise to paint with a broad brush.

Despite my mother having actually said that she wanted a little daughter and dress her up (this said when she was passing by a children's boutique in front of 10-year-old me), I have never taken this to heart as it's a single inconsistency compared to her general attitude towards my cross-dressing.

[Alice Torn]

Each of us comes from a different set of parents and siblings, and DNA, and some were affected far more by behaviors, and mindsets and words, than another would be. My dad was very morose unless drinking. He would yell at my mom, and they would fight. This went on for years. I decided that i did not want to be like him. I think that is one reason i dress as a lady. Maleness meant anger, rage, drunkenness, no manners. Both my older twin brothers got involved with neo nazis, ended up arrested, and one is still in prison, 30 more years. My dad was a legs fetishist, and even in his 90's talks about tall women with long legs. He never wanted sons, only daughters, too. I was very tall, with long legs, and i felt he was watching mine, too, and i was paranoid about him. I think this had something to do, in my dressing, wearing hose and high heels, accentuating, and showing off my legs, in photos. I think part of me wants to resemble the very tall, long legged woman of his, and my dreams!! Truth is, i may have been born prone to this, but all the things that happened with me, greatly contributed to it.

[Lorileah]

when I realized I was trans at 4 years old, my life was perfect. Single child, loving parents, suburban lifestyle

Now the years after when I was no longer an only child and my parents were fighting and the neighbors were swapping, then I worked HARD to look and act like a guy. So redirecting is probable

[LilSissyStevie]

Of course there is no "proof" and I would offer none. There is no proof that if you get drunk and drive that you will get into an accident, in fact most drunk drivings don't result in accidents, but drunk driving and auto accidents are highly correlated. It's plausible to say that drunk driving causes more accidents than would happen otherwise. You don't need a double-blind placebo controlled clinical study to figure this out or as Bob Dylan said, "You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows." The explanation makes sense, too. The idea that ice creams sales cause burglaries needs some serious explanation in order to be plausible. The question was if there was a correlation between crossdressing and trauma and there undoubtedly is as long as we are talking about emasculation trauma and not just any old trauma like breaking a leg. I also want to point out that emasculation trauma isn't necessarily just one or more incidents but includes the generalized anxiety of comparing oneself to and trying to live up to masculine ideals. So it is plausible to say that CDing is a way reacting to emasculation trauma for the reasons given in the first journal article I linked to. Could there be other explanations for crossdressing? Sure, as long as it's not ridiculous stuff like "my girly genes make me wear dresses." Of course, if that's all the explanation you need, go for it.

Actually, I would have never asked this question this way. You'll never get an honest answer asking a direct question. The trauma is better revealed in the stories people tell about themselves and it doesn't really matter if the facts are accurate.

[jeanieinabottle]

As a doc I've looked into gender identity differences and while I would have to agree that there is not a single reason that would apply to everyone as to why they crossdress or have gender identity differences, there are some interesting things which may explain why, Yes, some are born this way.
A number of studies have looked at maternal testosterone during later stages in pregnancy. There is generally an androgen (male hormone which is in both males and females) surge in late pregnancy and it has been suggested in some that due to illness, chronic conditions, medications, etc., the maternal androgen surge might have been suppressed resulting in how male children view themselves on the gender spectrum. They have linked finger lengths to this in utero androgen surge.
PET scans of the brain have shown that those with gender identity differences (male to female) show more female like patterns in both size and location of PET scan activity when various stimuli are given which suggests that there might be some "internal wiring" changes that occurred during development that results in more of a female brain than a male which is more likely than changes occurring after birth to the wiring.
Also it has been seen that with gender identity differences, there are some differences in neurotransmitters, in type and amount and how they work in individuals with gender identity differences.
So is it trauma or is it something more natural, chemical or medical? I'm not sure like I said before if any situation applies to all.
However for myself....I personally don't care. I know who I am, how I feel and think, and at this point in my life, having gone thru that stage of trying to find out why things are they way they are, I am happy with who I am and need no further confusion to add to an already confusing life before Jeanie.

[Brandy Mathews]

Hi everyone,
I think that it does have to do with what happens in your childhood. For me, I was beaten and screamed at by my father. And watched him scream at my mother for years. So at the age of 16, I was dressing in my sisters and mothers things and using their lipsticks when I could. Then after I moved out, I saw the lady next door throw out alot of clothes, bras, girdles, and other things. I grabbed that box up and dressed up in them for years. I thank her for that. Then when I was married, I tried so hard to not dress but it was no use. After a while I think that she had an idea what I was doing but would say things like......Whatever you are doing at home while I was gone. Have been divorced for years, not because of the dressing though.
Live alone now and I love to get off work and slip into something sexy and comfy. I really don't think that I can stop dressing, and I don't want to either. It is me! I have even had people that have found ot about me, try to hack into my computer to see more. Sometimes I think that those people are jealous that I have fun in life. And I haven't done anything to tose people, so I really don't get it. Some people are just not happy unless they are being nosey. I always tell them......get a life!
Bree

[detty]

Cool for you Bree, be happy and do not mind the rest (of the world).

I think for us a certail level of courage is needed to act out who we are, to try to involve people, to try to fit into society.

"Normal" people do not neeed to invest, they can be who they are categorized to be.

Be pretty, sophisticated and smart, and do not worry about the rest...

[Stephanie Julianna]

My wife is convinced that my crossdressing stems from my parents always fawning over there daughters, my sisters, and all the girl nieces, my cousins, and how pretty they were in there dresses, etc. I was pretty invisible as a boy. However, I feel that my female side is more an overlapping of a previous life as a woman. Yes, now you know, I believe in multiple lives. My family says that I am a Shirley McClain wanna-be. Whatever. So if your parents preferring little girls to boys is considered trauma I guess it is a possibility.

[meganmartin]

I dont think so because as others pointed out we all endured some sort of trauma.

Being raised in a large family there just was not enough time for my parents to be there for me.
Although they kept me fed, clothed and with shelter, in addition they did not raise any drug addicts or criminals so in my mind they did ok by me.

But that was the time in which I was raised we just raised different than the kids today.
Not better or worse just different.

[CONSUELO]

My earliest memory of dressing up in female clothes was when I was perhaps about five years old. My sisters dressed me as a joke and the memory of how that felt was seared into my memory. I don't know if it was a trauma but a psychiatrist whom I consulted many years later characterized it as "abuse". I certainly didn't feel that way about it. It has always been a happy memory for me.
My father often rebuked me for doing things "like a girl" and I was always confused by that. I didn't enjoy playing team sports and he thought I should. There was always a sense that I did not live up to whatever his expectations were. So trauma did not seem to be a part of triggering my desire to cross dress.

[AccidentalDresser]

In my case there is certainly no history of trauma or abuse at all that lead me to this unless you count my fiancé leaving me high and dry as a trauma trigger.
My parents were the loveliest most supportive people you could ever wish to meet and my childhood was all happy memories of the times we spent together and the pets and animals that just followed me home from school.

I prefer to think it's a choice I have made and because I look so damned good as my female self. It makes me happy and I am living my life my way now and there is no reason to analyse it unless it starts to have an advers affect on your day to day life.

[emily606]

I had a happy childhood, but when I was 8, I was forced to play a girl's part in a little show at a summer day camp. The experience was traumatic in that I felt shame over being chosen to be one of the girls. We were teased mercilessly and fifty two years later, the fear of someone learning about it makes my heart pound. Who knows if other things triggered it and the show was just one factor, but often I've wondered how my life would have been different had that particular incident had not occurred.

Hugs,

Emily

[joanne51]

From early childhood I've had a stammer, which in the early days made it very difficult to communicate. I had therapy and over the years I became quite fluent.
I still managed to mix quite well, so I wouldn't say I was withdrawn. But I did seem to be blessed with a vivid imagination.
Once I had stumbled upon my mum's clothes during moments alone in the house, my mind seemed to go into overdrive.
Contact with girls was hit and miss, so I suppose I compensated by exploring the feminine world as a T-girl.
Back then it was whatever garment I happened to find. It is only recently during periods where I had the house to myself that I could be completely Joanne.
So those early years meant that my development wasn't the same as say my brother's, and that once I had stumbled upon CD'ing that was it the mould was set.

[Tracii G]

Seems these days everyone want to blame someone else for their situation.
Call it a victim mentality if you will.
Pretty safe to say every body here growing up had a traumatic moment of some kind.
In my case I know I was born this way so no and any trauma I had growing up was not why I CD.

[Taylor Ray]

I find this type of thinking to be extraordinarily limiting and quite offensive.

Whats wrong with cross-dressing? Why does it need an "explanation"?

I can definitely verify the existence of a positive correlation between a killer dress, nice wig, hot shoes, and a wonderful evening.