A little moment at work today

[Karen62]

I had a meeting with a woman who is a Director-level on the team I support. It's a regular, bi-weekly meeting, but we hadn't met for a while (I've been hammered with a never-ending head cold the last 2 weeks). She had not seen me in a long while, not since I shaved off all of my facial hair 2 1/2 weeks ago. It totally caught her off-guard (I've also lost about 60 lbs. since last summer, so I've been physical transitioning already at work in many other ways). This woman is smart, strong, attractive, tough, and definitely no nonsense, and while I really like and respect her, I never really felt it was reciprocal. However, seeing me with my now baby face, she suddenly became chatty and we just had some non-work bonding going on. It was great! She revealed to me that she had her big 4-0 coming up, and she was worried about it. I smiled and said I was 52 -- 40 wasn't bad at all. She said, "Oh sure, but you aren't a woman." (I'm not out at work yet, and I haven't done anything more public than start letting my hair grow out.)

Her comment caught me completely off-guard, and I held a long pause, possibly smiled as I looked down at the floor, but ultimately said nothing. My mind raced between spilling the beans and then thinking this is not the time and place to come out yet, not to her, not this way, so I eventually broke the momentary silence by changing the subject and we continued our chat. But the long, pregnant pause I gave while my stupid brain struggled for some possible way to respond probably gave her a momentary reason to think "that's odd." While I don't have any reason to believe she suspects anything, when the day comes that I do come out to her team at work, I am quite sure she'll remember that moment of pause today.

The great thing is that today our little chat about non-work issues was a great bonding moment. I felt her finally start to warm up to me, which was really nice.

Just thought I'd share my silly, little story.

Karen

[Jennifer8]

That sounds nice hope everything works out for you

[charlenesomeone]

Sounds like a great story and maybe she felt more comfortable because you are too.
Hugs

[PretzelGirl]

I think our perception of what people realize gets blurred a lot because our memories stick when we think we messed up. To her it may have been that there was a pause to think of the next thing to say. When I ask a lot of people "Do you remember when....", most of them don't. The only one that surprised me is that I had gel nails for about 6 months somewhere around 4-5 years ago. I met a lady at dinner and she noticed them. We have been friends on Facebook since, but haven't seen each other in person. When I came out, I repeated the story saying she probably doesn't remember. She certainly did and said my transition was no surprise. So you never know, but I wouldn't get worried about it either.

[Jennifer-GWN]

Karen;

It can be amusing to see what people notice. Last week for me was the missing mustache ... not the shoulder length hair and the fact that its now brown having been virtually white for many years.

ha... Good on you for your weight loss as well.

Cheers... Jennifer

[Karen62]

I think our perception of what people realize gets blurred a lot because our memories stick when we think we messed up. To her it may have been that there was a pause to think of the next thing to say. When I ask a lot of people "Do you remember when....", most of them don't. The only one that surprised me is that I had gel nails for about 6 months somewhere around 4-5 years ago. I met a lady at dinner and she noticed them. We have been friends on Facebook since, but haven't seen each other in person. When I came out, I repeated the story saying she probably doesn't remember. She certainly did and said my transition was no surprise. So you never know, but I wouldn't get worried about it either.

Sue, I think you may be right. It was an innocuous event -- and it shows me that I've done a heckuva job in hiding my true side at work (I know I've always lived with a verbal filter and physical gesture censor turned on, but you still never know what some people perceive). Of course, knowing this woman, it could even have been an intentional line -- I did say she was smart and no-nonsense!

However, I have many times in my life been told by others, "do you remember when you said this or did that?" and I typically did not, except when the incident had an odd spin to it, more often than not I do remember those things, because of the unexpected element of the experience. My non-response to her line claiming I could not relate to her coming birthday because I was not a woman was innocent enough, but the pause in the conversation was long (it felt long), I think I sheepishly smiled at her, and I have no idea if there were any other tells that something was up. That's why I suspected that she might remember this moment in our conversation. We'll see.

In any case, I am not worried. The truth is the truth, and all will be revealed in good time (starting HRT will ensure that this will eventually be the case!). I found the thing to be amusing more than anything -- a lovely irony.

Karen

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I feel sure that a high achiever like that would be favourably impressed by anyone who turned their lives around, as evidenced by your weight loss, clean look, and the aura of increased self esteem that you are projecting. Now would be a good time to push for promotion, if you can see an opportunity! Take the bull by the horns, ask her for a meeting, and suggest it- she'll be even more impressed by that sort of attitude.

[phylis anne]

yeah it is funny about people ,I have never except for boot camp shaved my mustache so I started thinning it out and now almost gone 2 weeks before someone noticed I can't say that about other "projecting" developements" I have fended off a few comments with it's medical but did not include thye get a nice massage every night
hugs phylis anne

[Genneva Lynn]

Karen,

Hope things will work out nicely for you and the director. If she noticed because she seen something or if she is attracted to the man?? Maybebe the pause will get her thinking.

Huggs,

[Annaliese]

That sound really promising, an hope for the future good luck girl