First laser treatment this evening

[Karen62]

The clinic I chose is top-rated, trans-friendly, and owner-operated with several highly trained, long-term laser and electrolysis operators working there. The owner is such a wonderful, comforting woman -- which was a genuine confidence builder. I was designated as having a skin type of 2 (on a range of 1 - 6, light to dark). Who knew? The owner of the business, who's been doing electro and laser for over 30 years now, gave me my first treatment (and she doesn't accept new clients, but she said she liked me!). Laser treatments feel like a hit of super cold followed by a snap of a rubber band on my face. Exactly like that. I also see the bright red flash, even with my eyes protected (and then there's the lovely, lingering wisp of burnt hair smoke).

I learned that the machine was on the second to lowest power setting (I did so well tonight that we'll step it up one level next time). I hardly cringed, (although I did have to put my hands in my pants pocket to give them something to pull against). There's hardly any residual pink on my face, either. She did my entire face and neck, and now I wait for the dead hair to fall out (which I understand happens about a week later -- then some of it grows back in! Argh.) What tonight revealed, though, is that there is a lot of gray stubble that only electro can remove. Again and again. I realize I have just stepped into a multi-year commitment to get this all done, but this is my penance for not dealing with my TG issues before the gray hair got out-of hand.

But the big news is that I did it. My intro consultation a week ago actually gave me momentary pause -- doubts crept into my mind. This was all moving from a highly conceptual thing to a very physical thing. But as I analytically considered my doubts, I realized that the sum of my life's experiences of denying who I really am were not false memories nor could they be easily discounted. The reasons for moving forward were real and clear. I realized my doubts were about my commitment to the long process I was about to undertake and not who I am. The fact that I came back tonight to start laser therapy demonstrates what I decided to do about it.

Just another baby step toward becoming Karen.

[Suzanne F]

Karen
Congratulations ! I have my 4th treatment this Friday myself. It was a big deal to make that step. I kept telling myself with each flash of pain that I was on my way to being me! We are on an amazing journey.
Suzanne

[PretzelGirl]

It is yet another sign (of many) of our acceptance of ourselves. The hair removal is not cheap, painless, or quick. So I would have to say we are committed when we make this step (insert joke about being committed). It sometimes feels like I released the inner masochist as I looked forward to each treatment even if it was tough to endure.

You are on your way! Even though it takes a long commitment, you will have your spots where you notice patches, then thinning. It is one of the great feelings on our road.

[Dianne S]

Congratulations! I've had 12 treatments and probably have 12 more to go. My tech uses the highest power, so it feels more like a whole pile of red-hot needles being flung at my face rather than an elastic band snapping. But physical pain is fleeting; emotional wholeness is forever.

[Heidi Stevens]

It is a long road, Karen, but you've made that first step! I go for #6 in about 10 days. They've increased the power every time I've gone, so we are near the top. You are right about regretting not starting before the gray set in. That's about all I have left now, grey and white hairs, mostly on the neck. At least their stubble doesn't show thru makeup as the darker hairs do! I should be rid of almost all my dark hairs after this next one. Im also going 10 weeks between sessions this round which has allowed the last of the dark hairs to show themselves. Good luck with treatments.

[Jennifer-GWN]

Karen;

Congrats welcome to the treadmill. I skipped laser on the face... Was no point... And went right to electro. Just had numer 9 I think. Slow road but seeing progress little by little. Laser on the body has worked well, next session on that next week.

Cheers... Jennifer

[Eringirl]

Congrats Karen! Ya, ain't it fun?!? . I also noticed I could "see" flashes of red even though I was wearing eye protection...my tech said ya, that happens, it is firing the nerve endings near the eye!!

Going for another session tomorrow....

Erin

[Ashley1212]

Congrats. On moving foward. one step at a time. It's good to hear how it went. I have my first on Friday. Nervous and excited at the same time.

[Karolyn]

Congratulations Karen!

Today I had my first visit with a spot test, and I now know how hard it will be to do the entire face! My first full face treatment is on March 5th.

I am also skin type 2, and she zapped 5 times on my jaw line for a test. I was told by several people, including you, that it was like a rubber band. For me it was more like an arc welder!! It felt like when you get shocked when touching metal after rubbing your feet on carpet, but 100 times stronger. I also could see the red flash through my eyelids, cotton balls and protection glasses combined. The burnt smell was the only thing that made me feel better, and it made me realize that pain was not for nothing. I am not looking forward to have the upper lip done.

From her description, my pain threshold is really low (sigh), so I will have numbing cream on my face for an hour before the treatment, and lots of Advil... Sorry if I scared some people here, just hope you have a higher pain threshold than I do.

Karen, please keep us informed on when you start getting the first results. I am pretty sure you are looking forward to see your beard area suddenly becoming the same color as your skin

[Dianne S]

I am not looking forward to have the upper lip done.

Maybe my body's weird, but I don't find the upper lip that bad. For some reason, my neck and the sides of my chin are the worst.

I will have numbing cream on my face for an hour before the treatment, and lots of Advil...

I go in un-numbed and unmedicated. Either I have a higher pain tolerance or the laser's not as intense as yours.

[angpai30]

I did electro for a month and had to stop because I moved, but as I sat in the chair the excitement kept growing that I was finally on my journey to get rid of my facial hair FOREVER! Understanding that there are years of treatment left.

[Cindy J Angel]

Now that is a big day. I can not wate for that day i hate to shave. But it is the first thing i do for i hate the stubble gruff worse. Now i have a question why is the advertising companies keep putting man on their add wiht it? I know my wife wont even kiss me with it. And i thing its looks like your just lazy. Lol

[Karen62]

Thank you all for the wonderful replies and support! I am in this for the long run, although electrolosys does worry me a bit! But I'll get to that bridge soon enough. For now, just laser. The owner of the shop did the work, and she was great. She started up on my right jaw, and the initial snap was surprisingly sharp. However, I sort of acclimated to it pretty quickly, but as she moved along (and she was really quick about one shot, then another really fast), I noted I was more sensitive the closer she got to the medial (vertical center) line of my face. But the last bit of work done also was a bit sensitive, and that was along my jaw line (left side). Overall, it was not fun, but it was tolerable, and all I had taken was 2 ibuprofen. She strongly recommended not to use the numbing cream because to kill the cells in the follicle that grow the hair, she explained the blood supply needed to be engaged, and apparently the use of topical numbing agent causes the blood flow to that part of the skin to recede. The net effect is that the use of a numbing agent prolongs the need to do the repeated treatments over time. I will see how long I can go without anything more. Wish me luck. I was also told that the higher the power of the laser, the more hair growing cells within the follicle it can kill at once, so again, comfort (lower power) means prolonged treatment. Ugh. But this is where I want to go, otherwise my life is utter chaos. The way I see it is that there really is no choice, if I want to have a life where I can blend in and just be me. My next appointment is scheduled for March 6 (the day after, if I am lucky, I hope to start HRT! And that depends on how Friday's prostate cancer biopsy goes. Wish me luck -- but I firmly believe I'll be fine). So bring it on!

Karen

[Kate T]

She strongly recommended not to use the numbing cream because to kill the cells in the follicle that grow the hair, she explained the blood supply needed to be engaged, and apparently the use of topical numbing agent causes the blood flow to that part of the skin to recede.

Not quite convinced about that. Look, it sounds like the tech has a lot of experience but biologically that one just doesn't quite add up. The heat is generated by the laser interacting with the hair root which has no blood supply. If anything reducing the blood supply should actually increase the kill rate of cells as not only would they stay hotter for longer (blood is a very good conductor of heat AWAY from a hot area) but they would also be under oxidative stress and not be able to cope with trauma.

Now it is certainly possible that a reduced blood supply MAY cause more "collateral" damage so to speak and result in more post treatment redness and inflammation that would take longer to settle down.

[franchesca]

Funny how that old adage "pain is beauty" has a way of slapping us in the face the further we go into transition! Reading this thread and others like it make me think back to all the times I've heard women make that statement, and I was completely clueless lol! My wife gave me a laser package for my birthday, so i'll be facing the pain too very soon... congrats on this step of your journey to womanhood!

[Jorja]

You all are so lucky. Back when I did hair removal there was no such thing as laser. They simply hooked up the wires from the electric pole and ZAP! Well, that is what it felt like anyhow.

[Karen62]

Jorja, it's all relative, isn't it? Self-identifying as a transsexual cannot be a phenomenon that emerged only in the 20th century. Imagine how frustrated and ostracized transwomen must have felt 100 years ago. It must go back even farther than that -- much further. Suicide and institutionalization in mental hospitals must have been the only options. And mental health "hospitals" don't go that far back in history, either -- eighteenth century at best. But yes, of course, all of us today stand on the strong shoulders of our fore sisters who came out and suffered before us. And we today are the ones who will utter your very same words 20+ years from now at the next generation of transwomen discovering themselves, who will benefit from ever better technology, social advancements, and so much more.

By no means am I minimizing what you suffered through for your quest for congruency. I actually bow at your feet as a leader in this community . I am so grateful that you are still here, contributing your wisdom to this group rather than having made your peace with yourself and then disappeared to live your new life in anonymity (I said that to you in an earlier PM so you know how I feel, my friend).

But as a history buff, I also appreciate that progress is made over time. Things get better (more or less), especially over longer stretches of time. Assuming there is a planet Earth worth living on 100, or 1,000, years from now, I suspect those people will look back at us and marvel at the voluntary suffering those of us living today undertook to realize our true selves. And I intend to follow your role model, Jorja, and return many times over to others yet to come the incredible, loving support all of you lovely people here give to me as I take my first, tentative steps toward transition. It's scary as hell sometimes, but I know there is no alternative. So I persevere.

It's all a matter of perspective, isn't it?

Karen

[grace7777]

I completed my 9 session of laser on my face about 3.5 weeks ago. Looking in the mirror and seeing the results today, I can say that the pain is definitely worth it.