Cross dresser I.D. signal to other CD's

[Marcelle]

Hi Marcie,

How about the Vulcan sign or a loud Klingon "Kaplah" . . . oh wait that would be nerdy folks . . . just kidding.

To be honest, I prefer to let sleeping dogs lie. If a trans person recognizes me as one of the tribe and decides to come up say howdy (secret handshake aside), I would respond in kind but that is me. There are many, some who may not be comfortable in public, don't want to draw attention prefer not to be recognized or just want to blend, that even a simple secret sign could be unnerving.

Hugs

Isha

[michelleddg]

I few years ago I was in the "big girl chair" at MAC getting a makeover. Half way through so to the trained eye I was a dude, to the casual observer possibly not. A pleasant young man walked by and said "Hi, I'm Rochelle, you're going to look tremendous." I thought that was lovely. Hugs, Michelle

[Pat]

Hi Isha --

Maybe the secret sign should be that we smile vaguely and avoid eye contact? Wait! All those folks on the street... they're all crossdressers!!!

[deebra]

Marcie I agree with your post and disagree with most threads, if CD's had a signal such as holding your right ear lobe for a few seconds when making eye contact could lead to a conversation and possibly a local friend.

[BillieJoEllen]

A few years ago someone mentioned wearing a lavender wristband on their left wrist. I believe that was recommended on this site. I wore one for years with no response nor did I see anyone else wear one.

[pamela7]

cd.com logo - who would know, other than us? And if someone asked who obviously didn't know, you'd just say it's a logo for a support forum... most folk wouldn't go further... this could be our first bit of merchandising... hmmmm...

Katey x

yes, that I feel, tho even this discussion of it should be outside of prying eyes.

[Lorileah]

methinks if they wanted you to know they would have something you could see that would give them away. Isn't the idea to pass without notice? And if you need a signal, then they have passed without notice

This first time you "out" a TS won't be pretty either

[Tiffany Jane]

Why not do the MJ crotch grab, then everyone will be sure to say: "Look at those pervert(s) out in public!". Seriously, what about some polite conversation, something along the lines of:

"You look nice."

If they respond with a smile and a (like me):

"Why thank you!"

And seeing as voice training isn't on my to-do list you'll know two things: I'm a CD and I'm willing to have a chat (otherwise I'd have made a break for it). On the rare occasions I've been out (too tall to blend let alone pass unless I'm sitting down), I did not mind people engaging me if they were polite, friendly and treated me like a decent human being. It's actually nice if someone actually makes the effort, as opposed to everyone ignoring you after their second glance. Being out on my own the last time (no-one but my wife to go with) I actually got lonely!

But as with everything in life reactions will vary. Some people, who are really serious about passing, may take offence so better make a hasty retreat then.

As were my thoughts. Civility doesn't need its unique signal. Also I would imagine a person trying to blend (pass) wouldn't want extra attention brought to themselves as surrounding people wonder why an out of place or unknown gesture was given. But then again I tend to watch everyone around me regardless of how I am presenting myself.

[Beverley Sims]

I tend to do nothing, they may just be less attractive women.

[Tracii G]

This has been discussed many times on here and no one can ever agree on anything.
Just treat them like any other woman and leave them alone.
If a convo does start then be nice and give a compliment and don't make a big deal of it.

[MelanieAnne]

I'll take "Secret Handshakes" for $200, Alex.

[sometimes_miss]

it's too dangerous - in the wrong hands - haters - it would become a targeting weapon

^this. Far too many people consider us perverts, and a danger to their children simply because we exist. There would be rednecks with smartphones in their cars, driving around just looking for one of us to run over or attack. Again, consider Isha's recent experience. WE ARE NOT SAFE. We are targets just because we exist. Just consider it one of the really negative parts of the 'genuine girl experience' so many want to live out.

[pamela7]

^this. Far too many people consider us perverts, and a danger to their children simply because we exist. There would be rednecks with smartphones in their cars, driving around just looking for one of us to run over or attack. Again, consider Isha's recent experience. WE ARE NOT SAFE. We are targets just because we exist. Just consider it one of the really negative parts of the 'genuine girl experience' so many want to live out.

and that is why CD and the full T must be properly explained and publicised so people realise this is the LEAST threatening, LEAST dangerous demographic there could possibly be. Superheroes all.

[Paula Siemen]

Yeh...I think I like the "Hi sign" from the Little Rascles" movies.....ya know the up and down hand wave from under the chin. That way if any one saw us....we'd have an aliby.

[ophelia]

As long as it is clear and nothing nasal, so as to lead to unfortunate "Seinfeld" moments, as in: "It was a scratch.......not a pick!".

[Amy Lynn3]

Yes, Billie I remember those days, when we all wore rubber bands on our wrist. I never saw any and I never was contacted. Maybe we could do that again. That way we would not need to say one word, provided the other party saw us wearing one.

[sometimes_miss]

Yes, Billie I remember those days, when we all wore rubber bands on our wrist.

Nope, lots of people who work with the mail and packaging do that. So that one's out.

[Lynn Marie]

I've come to the conclusion that if people want to be my friend, they'll come to me. I've been very unsuccessful at reaching out to other CDs on this forum and elsewhere. It just seems like we either have very different ideas on presentation, or they have way too many fears to be out the door, or I scare them by being far too bold and confident. For what seems like the vast majority of CDs, this is a solitary avocation best played hidden from view.

[Karen kc]

Im with Billie and Amy, I remember!

[CynthiaD]

When I go out en femme, I want to be treated like a lady, not a "reasonable facsimile." If I see someone presenting as a woman, she is a woman. Period.

Of course there was this guy/gal I encountered in Vegas wearing a full beard and a brides maid dress ...

[Jorja]

Hey, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!

[DianeDeBris]

this could be our first bit of merchandising... hmmmm...

I could swear that, five or six years ago, someone here was selling pins that were a combination of the medical symbols for male and female: a circle with both an arrow protruding at the 2:00 position and a cross protruding downward at the 6:00 position. Does anyone else remember this, or have the Bad Dreams come back?
Hugs - Diane

[DorothyElizabeth]

I want a pair of pink/blue yin/yang cufflinks that I can wear for those occasions when I have to be "under dressed". Or maybe a bowtie (or even a long tie) with a bunch of them like a polka dot pattern.

[VAWyman]

Marcie I agree with your post and disagree with most threads, if CD's had a signal such as holding your right ear lobe for a few seconds when making eye contact could lead to a conversation and possibly a local friend.

Especially if the earlobe has an earring dangling from it.

[Amy Lynn3]

sometimes_miss, do you think all the postal workers that have rubber bands on their wrist are crossdressers ? I bet that is what happened to all the mail order lingerie that I ordered. Every time they score with a package full of lingerie they add a different color rubber band on top of the others.