I agree that doctors will ask this, as well as other questions (my personal favorite was 'Do you feel safe at home?' when my wife is not in the room). I do agree with Adina, tho. Something is missing in that dialogue.
I agree that doctors will ask this, as well as other questions (my personal favorite was 'Do you feel safe at home?' when my wife is not in the room). I do agree with Adina, tho. Something is missing in that dialogue.
Victoria
By the grace of God, I am what I am.
My doctor sometimes asks me when was the last time I was happy. I always take a long time to answer, because "happy" is such an ill-defined, relative term. I usually answer in an oblique way, because I am what I would call "content" with my life and myself. Does that qualify as happy? I honestly don't know. It certainly does not qualify as "unhappy", so if those are the only two choices, I have to say I am happy.
I suspect the OP's wife was doing a little "fishing" or hinting that they need to have some serious communication within the marriage. My impression is she is trying to say she is not happy right now. I also suspect she might not know why she is unhappy, or may be placing too much emphasis on external reasons. In my experience, no one can make me happy; that feeling has to come from within myself. I strongly suspect that is true for the human animal as a species, even though many of us deny it.
"We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are." Anais Nin
This has absolutly nothing to do with dressing or not Steffi,
Sounds like you two have other issues to be resolved first<.....
Put your CDing on the back burner till Youns work out the happiness issues.
She may use that against you and blame you for her not being happy with herself.
Been there done that with a previous marrige........
Can really mess up your mind if she is into mind games. Just sayin Be careful Sis!!!
Tonya Rose This is me! (song by camp rock)
The right answer for me is... The last time I was happy is right now!
I've done a ton of introspection over the past few years. Some of it has to do with 'why am I here', 'what am I supposed to be doing with my life', 'am I supposed to be female'.
All of which are maddening all without a text book answer. The one thing I have learned so far is about the negativity factor. It goes like this.
You start your day thinking I have all day to shower shave, do make up and slip into that new dress I bought. TODAY will be wonderful. Somewhere about the time your ready to slip on the dress you start to think. I wish I could go out, I wish I had real breasts, I wish I could stay female and never have to change back. DING DING DING. That's where you slide down the slippery slope of negativity.
When ever those thoughts come up just recognize them as negative. wrap them up and set them aside, Then focus on the positive part of whats happening right now.
You are beautiful, You are smooth and silky, You are loving the woman that you are. Its hard to do but the more you see the beautiful moment you are in, the happier you will be all the time. your mantra is 'I am a Happy and beautiful woman'. A smile will fill your heart and light up your face.
Huggs
Bobbi
Aint nothin gonna happen that aint supposed too!
I like the question. I believe we go through life on auto-pilot, not thinking about things like being happy but about feeding the dog or the bank account. We go to the doctor because we have discomfort that we want to eliminate, but once that's gone are we happy or just neutral? If the question is intended to sell drugs or appease some new government regulation then it's a waste of time. But if it's an attempt to treat the whole person and begin a dialog, or even a monologue where we really think about our lives, it may be the best thing the doctor can do in that short visit.
When was I last truly happy? About a week ago I had just hit a rock and disabled my jeep 35 miles into the back country. When friends arrived to help because they value me as an individual I was happy enough to cry about how lucky I was. Before that? As my wife was in the last few hours of her life, the cancer had done all the damage it could, she was all but gone and her body shutting down, I looked around my house and found every bed, couch, chair and open spot on the floor filled with people who loved and cared for her. I knew what I was losing and it hurt more than I can describe (it still hurts), but I was so very happy with what she was no longer in pain or suffering. And she was leaving me all these amazing relationships that I would never have managed to create on my own. It doesn't matter how I'm dressed, but being valued and respected as an individual (even loved?) is worthy of being very happy. When something comes between ourselves and that feeling of being valued and respected it needs to be addressed, maybe not changed, but at least understood.
I don't know about you, but the doctor's question has sure helped me feel better today.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
My cousin had a little heart scare and spent a little time in the hospital. Before he was released the doctor asked him if he had any questions, he answered, when can he play pick up hockey again with his friends? I drove them home and he kept asking his wife why she was so quit, she apologized to me and then blasted my cousin telling him when he gets better maybe he should go do what makes him happy and live his life dream of playing hockey. Instead of asking the doctor when he could play with his children again or when or if he can have sex with her, he asked a selfish question and at that point he knew his wife was right and probably wished the heart problem would have took him because he has a long road ahead. That was a good example of a heart felt answer, you just had a life taking heart attack and you thank God you are OK and your only thing on your mind is, when can I play with my friends. If my doctor asked me what would make me happy, I would answer to him, go on vacation, win a lottery, not be there with him. Yes I do enjoy my time dressing but really, is this guy even a doctor to ask a question like that.
Isabella,
I do not have a problem with a MD asking about a patients mental happiness . . . my GP asks me all the time and that is a good thing. What she doesn't do is assume she has a window into my mental well being based on a paused response. Inquiring is one thing, thinking you can sum it up in one (or lack of) response is irresponsible given that is not his/her line of expertise.
Isha
Highly unfair question and hard to answer even if you were happy 10 minutes ago. And what difference does it make to the doctor? Unless it was a Psychiatrist who was wondering how to treat your mood or depression, it is really NOYB. Maybe you were happiest when you got married but now you have settled into a routine NORMAL everyday marriage. Are you unhappy in the marriage? No but you may gauge your happiness on the HIGH you had then. Also we tend to forget the happy daily times because they are common and dwell on the unhappy times because (hopefully) they are less common. This is normal for people.
But since we are probing into things that really are none of our business...why don't you be happy and tell everyone what makes you happy?
So I would say "Bull-oney" on this question. It isn't pertinent to daily life. Arte you satisfied and comfortable? Then that's all you need
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Reply: "I'm always happy."
Now ask me when was the last time I was ecstatic!
DonnaT
@Donna T - That was what I was getting at with my answer.
"We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are." Anais Nin
I've read many posts where members said they weren't sure if they passed or not.
My reply is, when u pass you'll know!
I feel that way about happiness, also. If u don't recall when u were last happy? U probably weren't and maybe, aren't!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!