How young were you?

[Leah Lynn]

Karen, you nailed it. "I always knew, I never knew." Ain't that the truth!

Leah

[FrancineS]

I was seven (1975), my grandma lived with us. Something made me want to wear her boots and leather coat. The smoothness of it the way It felt I knew then something was up. Started slow through school by the time I was 23 I knew I was Francine. And this was much more than wearing the clothes. I knew then that I was truly a woman, although in a different package.

[Starling]

I was about nine or ten when I first wore one of my mother's dresses and painted my toenails. It felt very comfortable and nice. Then followed five decades of confusion, shame and guilt. I read everything I could on the subject, which wasn't very much in the pre-internet days, and was mostly confined to the tabloids and dirty book stores. And now I'm at the point where knowledge had better damn well become power, because I'm about to burst.

Lallie

[Kris Avery]

I think it was the first time my aunt filed my fingernails rather than my mom just chopping at them with a clipper.
I'm like ohhhh that is nice. I think I was 5-6.

[Starling]

Oh, it is little things like that, isn't it, Wendy? I remember my mom showing me how to file my nails so they came to a point. I loved to watch her do her lipstick, and that's how I do mine now. I'm sure she knew I should have been a girl, because she and I used to spend hours talking about everything and nothing when my dad and my siblings were out. I don't remember any particular instance when I said it in so many words, but I'm sure it was obvious to her that I was a misplaced object.

Many years later, but before cell phones, I got a phone message from her saying we had to talk, as soon as she got back from an excursion she was on. Sadly, she died a day or two later, and I was never to know what was so urgent, but part of me feels very strongly that she was going to tell me she knew I was really a woman, and it was okay.

Lallie

[STACY B]

Can't really remember exactly what the age was ? Maybe 4 or 5 just guessing ? It wasn't as much a need more than it was a state of missing something an didn't know exactly what it was ? Had a couple older sisters an was the only boy ,, So never had to be held accountable at first with a father that was gone alot . Kinda just went with the flow until later . Kinda strange after the fact an you really think about it . I do talk about my younger days with the SO sometimes . An reflect back an can see now why things happen the way they did . I think it was just a different time an place for all the lady's that are my age .

But times change an so do we ,, Can't change the past but we sure can learn from it an do something about it now with the resources we have today ,, What a wonderful world we have now .

[MonicaJean]

So when did I know? I always knew. I never knew.

I’ve been chastised and taken out of context by those who throw my tg status back in my face, they said “but you always knew!”. Uggh. It’s like Einstien always knowing the theory of relativity. He didn’t know it until he figured it out, every part of his scientific life was a building block until that “Aha!” moment.

My answer when I absolutely knew I was MtF is 43, almost 44. But looking back at my first intro post here 5 years ago, I’m wondering if I knew back then but kept cloaking it as only being CD?

And why does it take so darned long to admit it to ourselves??

[cassiekat]

Seven years old.