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Thread: I feel what I did was wrong.

  1. #1
    Rachel:3
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    I feel what I did was wrong.

    As a CD or someone who can't wait to fully dress I love being called a girl, since I haven't been able to fully dress I made an online persona of a girl I pretend to be. I looked up girls on google and picked the one I thought was the cutest. Months later I join this online game with a small but closely knit community. Ever since then I've become friends with the people there but there is one problem... They think I'm a girl. Now that I've become so close I feel ashamed for teasing them and pretending to be a girl online. I don't know what to do now as I fear getting shunned by the community which is already in shambles due to a high profile member leaving the game. Yes, I flirted and said cute things but I'm a heterosexual male and feel guiltily for lying and leading these people on. I don't know what to do.

  2. #2
    Junior Member Zoe B's Avatar
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    You would be surprised how many people actually do that. Let things calm down a little and don't beat yourself up over it.

    If you want to come clean just go ahead and be honest and open. I actually met my wife through a community where my avatar was female.

  3. #3
    Senior Member MissTee's Avatar
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    I wouldn't sweat it. It's very common. Remember that when you are approached online. Likely what you see is not what you get.

  4. #4
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    If I read this correct, you co-opted a photo of a "cute girl" and represented you are her? I don't care how many people do this, I'll validate your thread title and agree you are wrong.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  5. #5
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    Problem with lies, usually they "kick you in the A" eventually
    So come clean, apologize, take an A kicking, learn from it and move on
    It's called "being human"
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  6. #6
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    If you are simply going to continue as an on-line game member, it really would not seem to matter if you are simply playing and communicating in a game forum. Who cares? But if you expect more, then you will have to admit to misrepresenting yourself and accept the consequences.

  7. #7
    W.Y.S.I.W.Y.G. Jason+'s Avatar
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    Wrong is your call to make. My preference has been for people to know what they are getting, hence the WYSIWYG. I have learned to take the internet with a grain of salt. How to resolve it depends on how much of a relationship you really feel you have with the gaming group.

    "You are not an accident, nor are you malfunctioning. You are performing EXACTLY as coded." For many "Man in a Dress" is the worst atrocity commit-able; for me it's just reality. Click to Learn About Me. Click to Complain About Me! There is a fine line between brutal honesty and honest brutality. It is rarely in the same place for the sender and the receiver.

  8. #8
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
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    Whenever there is a chance to utilize a female avatar for a game I jump on the chance, its like an extension of my feminine side. Once I was playing an online Poker game and I chose the best looking, at least to me anyway, female avatar. Using the chat guys would start chatting with me wanting my email. I would just brush it off since I'm not into that. I also like to pick female avatars with offline games as well.
    Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
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  9. #9
    Transman Andy66's Avatar
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    Just my opinion, I would say stop using some other persons photo. What if she or one of her friends see it? Use a cartoon girl or something. I use a cat, but I think most people have figured out Im not really a cat.
    Last edited by Andy66; 02-26-2015 at 12:10 AM.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Hell on Heels's Avatar
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    Hell-o Rachel,
    If you feel what you did was wrong, you need to correct it.
    If you don't it will just get worse from here.
    Being as it's an online thing, I think you can find a way to come clean
    and still remain friends with these people you are afraid of offending.
    Much Love,
    Kristyn
    Last edited by Hell on Heels; 02-26-2015 at 12:55 AM.
    I smile because you are my friend, and
    I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it!!!

  11. #11
    Junior Member WhitneyCD's Avatar
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    As someone frequently guilty of the same mistake, I try to be upfront and honest so whoever I may be talking to knows that the picture is only.a "representation" of who I am. I know from experience once it gets rolling ita tough to stop. I will often just go cold turkey, delete it all and just disappear until I feel like I have regained control.
    I don't think it makes us as horrible of people as we feel, but we are def in the wrong.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member
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    As someone who has maintained a female character (in video games) whenever possible, I certainly find it wrong to simply nick a real person's photo and impersonate the subject. Not the least when the worst assumption is that you'll never cross paths with said person ever.

    Which, in turn, is the reason why I use an illustration (ironically, one who could be seen as my female counterpart, of all people) as my avatar.

  13. #13
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy66 View Post
    I use a cat, but I think most people have figured out Im not really a cat.


    Another feline hero bites the dust... Come to think of it, I'd wondered how you kept your paws off the mouse when typing...

    Rachel - you've sort of said it yourself and others have too... You've got an opportunity to correct it - if you think it's wrong, continuing it is never going to be righter.

    Your call... your values...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  14. #14
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    The problem with any lie is that it requires more to keep it going.Pretty soon, you've told so many, you forget what you said. Then you are in trouble.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member phylis anne's Avatar
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    everyone here has said some valid things , even though it is th internet integrity still applies be careful . As to Andy's avatar "Just my opinion, I would say stop using some other persons photo. What if she or one of her friends see it? Use a cartoon girl or something. I use a cat, but I think most people have figured out Im not really a cat" what a cat and cute too
    hugs phylis anne

  16. #16
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Well, you did say it was a game, right? I'll bet you're not the only gender impersonator online.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  17. #17
    Member Vale's Avatar
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    To me, having an alter ego on line is not very different than cross dressing. However, if the picture you used is a real person you might cause her real harm. Would you like your face associated with someone else's behavior? I don't think you intended harm, but technically this is identity theft.

    Love,
    Valerie

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member Sarah-RT's Avatar
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    Apparently most female characters in games online are played by guys. I'm guessing your game was text chat and not voice chat. I wouldn't sweat it since as others have said, what you see online is not what you get,
    I'd be very alarmed to discover all the lovely ladies here weren't just that 😁

    If you have taken some girls picture of suggest you change it to a stock image, we wouldn't like it if our pictures were being taken and used for other means.
    As for the "deception" what's the big deal? Your playing a persona online, when I play grand theft auto I'm not conning people into thinking im a car thief offline

  19. #19
    Transman Andy66's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Katey888 View Post


    Another feline hero bites the dust... Come to think of it, I'd wondered how you kept your paws off the mouse when typing...
    Im just a human who likes to get in touch with their feline side. Oh, that mouse isnt as tasty as it looks.
    Last edited by Andy66; 02-26-2015 at 11:11 AM.

  20. #20
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Just go with the flow, don't share details that could expose you.

    People lie all the time on the internet.

    Even me.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  21. #21
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    I understand your angst. However, what are the chances of you ever meeting the other players? And, are you sure they are who they say they are? If you leave the interaction as it is: just playing the game, just have fun. Anytime there is total anonymity people can present themselves in any manner they choose.

  22. #22
    Diva Victoria Demeanor's Avatar
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    Rachel,
    I think everyone here has pretty much said it all, but I still wanted to chime in. So I will agree that on line a lot of people pretty much do this and the great thing about the web is you can be who ever you want to be. Anonymity can be a good or bad thing depending on how you use it. Being who you feel you are inside is great, but using someone's real picture, not so much. I'm willing to bet that not everyone in your gaming circle is not who they say they are. If you want an easy out change your avatar to a cartoon depiction and just tell them the picture really wasn't you. you may find your honesty may not surprise them that much.
    As for me, YES my avatar really is me.....that's right I am the real BatGirl....!!!
    oh and I too am surprised and a little depressed Andy66 that you really are not a cat.
    anyways there's my two cents
    When I am still and quiet, people who do not know me think, Oh how cute she's shy.
    People who do know me think, OMG RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Girls will be boys and boys will be girls It's a mixed up muddled up shook up world except for Lola

  23. #23
    Aspiring drama queen Isabella Ross's Avatar
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    Using a female avatar and presenting yourself with a female persona is one thing. Using someone else's photo is just wrong. Period.

  24. #24
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Kinda sorta kinda what I did. (with the caveat that I am TS and being "Lori" is who I really am). 7 years ago I was quite active in online poker, not for real money because I don't trust technology that much, but for online credits. I had won over 6 million "dollars" and was playing the high end tables. Being Lori had on several occasions caused other players to not take my skill set seriously. This went on for over a year. Then one day a player who I was friendly with and who taught me the ropes sent me a message "Do you have something you need to tell me?" I said No. He said "You are not who you say you are" I said what do you mean? He said he had "Googled" me and knew my secret. A year long bluff being called. I lost that edge.
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  25. #25
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    It you feel bad about it, stop doing it. Next?
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

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