I feel what I did was wrong.

[Rachel:3]

As a CD or someone who can't wait to fully dress I love being called a girl, since I haven't been able to fully dress I made an online persona of a girl I pretend to be. I looked up girls on google and picked the one I thought was the cutest. Months later I join this online game with a small but closely knit community. Ever since then I've become friends with the people there but there is one problem... They think I'm a girl. Now that I've become so close I feel ashamed for teasing them and pretending to be a girl online. I don't know what to do now as I fear getting shunned by the community which is already in shambles due to a high profile member leaving the game. Yes, I flirted and said cute things but I'm a heterosexual male and feel guiltily for lying and leading these people on. I don't know what to do.

[Zoe B]

You would be surprised how many people actually do that. Let things calm down a little and don't beat yourself up over it.

If you want to come clean just go ahead and be honest and open. I actually met my wife through a community where my avatar was female.

[MissTee]

I wouldn't sweat it. It's very common. Remember that when you are approached online. Likely what you see is not what you get.

[Sara Jessica]

If I read this correct, you co-opted a photo of a "cute girl" and represented you are her? I don't care how many people do this, I'll validate your thread title and agree you are wrong.

[Rachelakld]

Problem with lies, usually they "kick you in the A" eventually
So come clean, apologize, take an A kicking, learn from it and move on
It's called "being human"

[heatherdress]

If you are simply going to continue as an on-line game member, it really would not seem to matter if you are simply playing and communicating in a game forum. Who cares? But if you expect more, then you will have to admit to misrepresenting yourself and accept the consequences.

[Jason+]

Wrong is your call to make. My preference has been for people to know what they are getting, hence the WYSIWYG. I have learned to take the internet with a grain of salt. How to resolve it depends on how much of a relationship you really feel you have with the gaming group.

[Alice_2014_B]

Whenever there is a chance to utilize a female avatar for a game I jump on the chance, its like an extension of my feminine side. Once I was playing an online Poker game and I chose the best looking, at least to me anyway, female avatar. Using the chat guys would start chatting with me wanting my email. I would just brush it off since I'm not into that. I also like to pick female avatars with offline games as well.

[Andy66]

Just my opinion, I would say stop using some other persons photo. What if she or one of her friends see it? Use a cartoon girl or something. I use a cat, but I think most people have figured out Im not really a cat.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Rachel,
If you feel what you did was wrong, you need to correct it.
If you don't it will just get worse from here.
Being as it's an online thing, I think you can find a way to come clean
and still remain friends with these people you are afraid of offending.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[WhitneyCD]

As someone frequently guilty of the same mistake, I try to be upfront and honest so whoever I may be talking to knows that the picture is only.a "representation" of who I am. I know from experience once it gets rolling ita tough to stop. I will often just go cold turkey, delete it all and just disappear until I feel like I have regained control.
I don't think it makes us as horrible of people as we feel, but we are def in the wrong.

[Lily Catherine]

As someone who has maintained a female character (in video games) whenever possible, I certainly find it wrong to simply nick a real person's photo and impersonate the subject. Not the least when the worst assumption is that you'll never cross paths with said person ever.

Which, in turn, is the reason why I use an illustration (ironically, one who could be seen as my female counterpart, of all people) as my avatar.

[Katey888]

I use a cat, but I think most people have figured out Im not really a cat.

Another feline hero bites the dust... Come to think of it, I'd wondered how you kept your paws off the mouse when typing...

Rachel - you've sort of said it yourself and others have too... You've got an opportunity to correct it - if you think it's wrong, continuing it is never going to be righter.

Your call... your values...

Katey x

[Kate Simmons]

The problem with any lie is that it requires more to keep it going.Pretty soon, you've told so many, you forget what you said. Then you are in trouble.

[phylis anne]

everyone here has said some valid things , even though it is th internet integrity still applies be careful . As to Andy's avatar "Just my opinion, I would say stop using some other persons photo. What if she or one of her friends see it? Use a cartoon girl or something. I use a cat, but I think most people have figured out Im not really a cat" what a cat and cute too
hugs phylis anne

[CarlaWestin]

Well, you did say it was a game, right? I'll bet you're not the only gender impersonator online.

[Vale]

To me, having an alter ego on line is not very different than cross dressing. However, if the picture you used is a real person you might cause her real harm. Would you like your face associated with someone else's behavior? I don't think you intended harm, but technically this is identity theft.

Love,
Valerie

[Sarah-RT]

Apparently most female characters in games online are played by guys. I'm guessing your game was text chat and not voice chat. I wouldn't sweat it since as others have said, what you see online is not what you get,
I'd be very alarmed to discover all the lovely ladies here weren't just that 😁

If you have taken some girls picture of suggest you change it to a stock image, we wouldn't like it if our pictures were being taken and used for other means.
As for the "deception" what's the big deal? Your playing a persona online, when I play grand theft auto I'm not conning people into thinking im a car thief offline

[Andy66]

Another feline hero bites the dust... Come to think of it, I'd wondered how you kept your paws off the mouse when typing...

Im just a human who likes to get in touch with their feline side. Oh, that mouse isnt as tasty as it looks.

[Beverley Sims]

Just go with the flow, don't share details that could expose you.

People lie all the time on the internet.

Even me.

[Stephanie47]

I understand your angst. However, what are the chances of you ever meeting the other players? And, are you sure they are who they say they are? If you leave the interaction as it is: just playing the game, just have fun. Anytime there is total anonymity people can present themselves in any manner they choose.

[Victoria Demeanor]

Rachel,
I think everyone here has pretty much said it all, but I still wanted to chime in. So I will agree that on line a lot of people pretty much do this and the great thing about the web is you can be who ever you want to be. Anonymity can be a good or bad thing depending on how you use it. Being who you feel you are inside is great, but using someone's real picture, not so much. I'm willing to bet that not everyone in your gaming circle is not who they say they are. If you want an easy out change your avatar to a cartoon depiction and just tell them the picture really wasn't you. you may find your honesty may not surprise them that much.
As for me, YES my avatar really is me.....that's right I am the real BatGirl....!!!
oh and I too am surprised and a little depressed Andy66 that you really are not a cat.
anyways there's my two cents

[Isabella Ross]

Using a female avatar and presenting yourself with a female persona is one thing. Using someone else's photo is just wrong. Period.

[Lorileah]

Kinda sorta kinda what I did. (with the caveat that I am TS and being "Lori" is who I really am). 7 years ago I was quite active in online poker, not for real money because I don't trust technology that much, but for online credits. I had won over 6 million "dollars" and was playing the high end tables. Being Lori had on several occasions caused other players to not take my skill set seriously. This went on for over a year. Then one day a player who I was friendly with and who taught me the ropes sent me a message "Do you have something you need to tell me?" I said No. He said "You are not who you say you are" I said what do you mean? He said he had "Googled" me and knew my secret. A year long bluff being called. I lost that edge.

[kimdl93]

It you feel bad about it, stop doing it. Next?