I have two supervisors. We'll call them E and B. E is o.k. with me coming to work as Violet, B is not. We have an anti-discrimination policy that says anyone can wear what they want as long as it is professional. But there's also a clause that says it is up to the supervisor's discretion. It's mainly to prevent people from wearing things that it is common sense not to wear, booty shorts, flip-flops, plunging necklines, marijuana leaf imagery, etc. The clause basically says "and if there's anything else we didn't think of, like you coming to work in a thong and rollerskates wearing a Darth Vader mask, we can ban that too."
B milks this clause for all it's worth, and is constantly checking for the length of my co-worker's skirt, and even when she is wearing something in compliance with regulation she may still get in trouble if it's not long enough for that supervisor's standards. She has made it clear that she does not want me to come to work as Violet. My other supervisor, is sort of gothic in appearance and she has no issue with it. We've been out together several times with me as Violet.
All this week B has been on vacation. This Friday, both E and B were on vacation. On Thursday I showed E a picture of a ridiculous dress and said, "Can I come tomorrow wearing that?" She laughed and said "Well I'm not going to be here tomorrow, so I don't really care."
Thursday night I sent her a message: "Hey E, do you really not care how I come to work tomorrow?"
She replies: "I won't be there, so..."
I say, " It's just that I'm really tempted (have been all week) but I want to be sure I wouldn't be getting you in trouble."
She says "As long as whatever you are wearing meets the dress code (check the policy - no tank tops, flip flops, too form fitting what ever that means) it shouldn't be a problem."
So I'm like wow. Is this really going to happen? I sent a Facebook message to my co-worker, J : "Sooo there's a chance I might be coming to work as Violet tomorrow."
Her response: "I support that."
She has been supportive of me coming to work as Violet for quite some time. She was there when I won the Baltimore Queen of Crabs pageant, and has been very pro-Violet.
So anyway, I agonize over whether to do this. Will I? I lay out an outfit just in case. In the back of my mind I'm fully expecting to not go through with it. I'm so nervous that I don't eat as much as I should that night. I don't sleep. (part of that was because the neighbor's dog whined for 8 hours straight) and I forget breakfast the following morning. I jump in the shower. My hands start moving automatically, I grab the razor and start shaving.
I get out and dry off and go into my room it was like I was watching someone else take control of my body. I've been wearing leggings under my pants all winter because it's so cold here. I pull on some leggings. I pull them back down to the knee, then slide my hip pads in and pull them up again. I go back into the bathroom shirtless and open my makeup box and put on primer and foundation. It this point I'm still in denial, telling myself that if I want to I could just go to work with foundation on. Not going to bore you with every little step, but next thing you know my makeup is done, eyeliner mascara, all that.
I look at the clock and see the point of no return. I can either disassemble myself and be really really late for work or just carry it through and be on time. I put on my bra, forms, blouse, skirt and wig.
I step out of the bathroom my house mate says "Do you have a thing today or are you going to work as Violet?" I say I'm going to work she gives a surprised expression. "What about that one supervisor?" I tell her that B is not going to be there today. She tells me to have fun.
I step out and drive to the light rail (here in Baltimore it's like a subway train that never goes under ground) I get on, no incident. Mostly people ignoring the crap out of me, and I couldn't be happier about that. I get to my stop and I walk into the library (where I work) when it occurs to me that I don't have my badge and that security might not recognize me. Fortunately the one security guard is watching the monitor and I just slide on by. I think I'm home free when I hear a voice behind me,
"Do you work here?"
A different security guard saw me as he turned into the hallway. I say in the best voice I can, "Yeah, Interlibrary Loan." He says "Oh, o.k." and continues to stride away. I don't know whether he knew it was me or not, but I make my way to my work area. I'm a little late so I get a text from J,
"Where are you, and what are you wearing?"
I'm already in the building at this point, so no use texting back now. I see her coming up the stacks hallway as I come in and she gives me this wide grin and a thumbs up. I walk into the room and sit down at my desk. A woman who works in a different department but the same room is the first to walk in, stops, sees me and snaps her finger
"Work it, hunny!" She says, "It's about time! I told you to come dressed as Violet for a while now!" Which is sort of true. What she actually said was, "Wouldn't you feel better if you came to work dressed as Violet?" She asked me how I felt, and I said I feel great. Two of her employees came in, and told me that I looked good. Another co worker, N, comes in, sees me and he says "That deserves TWO snaps! You look like a completely different person!"
It's great, so far people had been really supportive. For a little while after that it was like business as usual. Occasionally J would look over at me and smile. On the way out N says to me, "Don't forget to call security if you need to!" Once I'm in that area of the library someone who works there introduces herself to me, and I say "It's Violet." She's already Facebook friends with me so we talk a bit and she asks if I'm transitioning. I tell her I'm just feeling things out.
Then It was time to do the part of my job that entails going out to different departments of the library and hunting books to mail out to borrowing libraries and colleges. That is not as comfortable to do as Violet. For one thing it's a task where I must be in the general area with the different patrons of the library. Most mind their own business but some can be unpredictable (which we'll see later). I had on leggings and hose to keep the hip pads in place, and a wig. It was HOT. Especially considering how they seemed to have turned the thermostat ALL the way up to compensate for the winter cold. W, someone else who works in the Library who is openly gay comes to see me, turns out he was looking for me and gave me a big hug!
Finally I get done and but it took so long (the work load was much heavier than usual) that it's already time for me to go to lunch.
I go to 7-11 and get a Perrier and a protein shake (so I can drink through a straw and not mess up my lips that much) and head back.
I'm at my desk for a while when a male custodian comes in as usual to flirt with two of the girls in the department. He sees me, does a double-take, scowls and then ignores me for the rest of his time in the room. Perfectly fine with that. Next, one of the people from the shipping department comes in. And says simply,
"Are you ok?" I nod. She says "Good. The ENTIRE library is talking about you, so I'm guessing you have been getting a lot of visitors. You just let me know if ANYONE ::expletive::'s with you. You got that?" I got that. She walked away, and now I'm trying not to get teary-eyed at work. Great. First day of work as a woman, and trying not to cry lol.
So I was apparently the talk of the library until... a co-worker came through, stunned. She said, " I've been here for 15 years. In 15 years I've seen some pretty strange things. But never in my life have I walked through the library and seen someone completely naked."
Apparently some woman used the restroom, stripped, and just walked out into the general area completely nude. She said she called security, and the were handling the situation when she came down here. And this is how jaded you get, working in the library with all the strange people. I texted my supervisor who you'll remember was off that day, with "Someone just walked through the library completely naked." Her honest-to-goodness response? " I guess the weather is warmer than projected."
And that was pretty much the end of my day. J offered to give me a ride home, and we talked about my first time at work as Violet and how nervious I was and how nervous she was for me. Supervisor B is sure to hear about it on Monday, so there's that to deal with. But I think that if there's one thing today has taught me, it's that more people I think have my back in this situation than don't.
Thanks for listening! ^_^ Sorry it was so long! I'll have pics in the Gallery section soon!