Middle aged, married, white male

[Katie Russell]

Hi

This is purely observational but it does seem that the majority of members hear fit this demographic.

Is it because this is the typical profile of a crossdresser or is it because we feel comfortable in this little tribe? I suspect that there are other forums out there - I haven't really explored as I feel comfortable hear - which offer a different view / interest. Has anyone experience other forums with different demographic or are they all the same?

The stats at the bottom of the home page say 28,000 member and 5,000 active. It would be interesting to know how many browsers there are out there to see if we can gauge some idea of how many crossdressers there are out there. If we added together all the different sites would that be more representative?

Just a few musings for a Monday morning.

Katie

[Lacey New]

I fit the same demographic, married, middle aged white male, college educated with a good income. And I too have been curious about how many of us there really are. I have read estimates of as high as three percent. However sometimes I doubt that. If one lived in a modestly sized city of 200,000, then there would theoretically 6,000 of us. More than the active role of this site. But since the reach of this site is obviously international, our population pool is huge. So, if the percentage of men who crossdress is 3%, it seems as if our active membership should be something greater. Could the estimates be wrong!?

[sometimes_miss]

. So, if the percentage of men who crossdress is 3%, it seems as if our active membership should be something greater. Could the estimates be wrong!?

You're assuming that every crossdresser has a need to write about it. One night at work I asked the people there how many participated in online discussion forums. No one knew what I was talking about. They knew about facebook, sure. But no one had ever heard of discussion forums on the net. And how many here even know of something called the usenet or newsgroups (same thing)? Probably only IT folks, and the younger ones have probably only heard about it, never gone on them. I now know ONE person at work that does, but she's a former IT person.
Also, a great many of us were probably ashamed of our crossdressing, even after we found out that other guys do it. That too will prevent them from participating.

[susan54]

White, 60 and currently single. I used to be on another Forum but no longer log in and occasionally lurk. I don't know why I am even here, a much nicer Forum, as I seem to have little in common with most members. I am heterosexual, never think of myself as a woman, and get no 'excitement' from dressing up, so a lot of the posts pass me by. I go out regularly with confidence, I have lots of clothes that work wonderfully for me - and which I try on happily as man or woman, am happy with how I look (which is good) but I do not pass at close quarters. I do not have problems with my cross-dressing or need advice, and when(as an old hat at this) I give advice, it tends to close down the thread. I suspect the Forum is not for people like me, but for some reason I persist.

[flatlander_48]

And how many here even know of something called the usenet or newsgroups (same thing)? Probably only IT folks, and the younger ones have probably only heard about it, never gone on them.

Not true. While I knew of usenet and newsgroups back in the day, I didn't have a computer at the time. And, while I was never a part of an IT group, I did do computer programming and simulation programming for several years. I was part of a control systems group at the time.

However, I do remember hauling a Lear-Siegler ADM-3A terminal and a 1200 baud modem home over Christmas one year in order to play D&D on Compuserve. How's that for trivia?

DeeAnn

[SandraB]

I fit this profile in line with your observations. I only recently joined the site as I've only just come to fully accept myself as a cd (having struggled with it since my teens). Having reached this point, I came out to my wife and to my delight she is accepting of this (though I wouldn't say over enthusiastic about it so far). I've not any experience of other forums so can't say how different forums may compare. I know the stats vary widely on how many cross dressers there are out there and it is almost impossible to determine as it is kept very much an activity in the closet. I wouldn't even admit to myself for a long time that this is who I am! If cd'ing were largely accepted by society as a normal activity, I would think the number of cd'ers would be a sizeable proportion. After all, we all have some level of both female and male hormones and society has a huge affect on how we try to identify ourselves as either black or white (male or female) with nothing in between. However when you get down to it we are all different shades of grey.

[Leighcdmd]

I think the described demographic is highly representative. I am in my 60s and have been dressing ( secretly or otherwise) as long as I can remember. Since the dawn of the Internet and the realization that I was not alone in the world, I have had the opportunity to meet numerous other CDs in person. Yep...almost entirely white, mostly seemingly successful, middle aged males.

[il.dso]

Very interesting observation and probably accurate.
Not sure what to conclude from it but definitely worth noting.

[alwayshave]

Other than not being married, I'm in a long term relationship with a woman, I'm white and middle aged. Who knows whether that's typical. My feeling is that CDers of my age group come here for support that they did not have growing up and that younger CDers do not require as much as they grow up in more accepting society. I know that a lot of younger CDers are on tumblr, where its more about posting pictures.

[Candice Mae]

Other than not being married, I'm in a long term relationship with a woman, I'm white and middle aged. Who knows whether that's typical. My feeling is that CDers of my age group come here for support that they did not have growing up and that younger CDers do not require as much as they grow up in more accepting society. I know that a lot of younger CDers are on tumblr, where its more about posting pictures.

I call bs on that, you just think society is more accepting because you have a broader social network due to technology. People today are more accepting of gay/lesbians and transsexuals, but as for CDs it's still something that is frowned upon. Do we not still hear about SOs leaving and parents disowning ther children because of CDing? People or still people nothing has really changed that much, if you were growing up today you would still feel the same pressures on you as you did back in your real childhood.

I've lost count on how may times I've been told "oh I'm glad you not some ........ Cross dresser" when I explain to people who I am.

[alwayshave]

I call bs on that, you just think society is more accepting because you have a broader social network due to technology.

You can call BS if you like, however in the late 60s when I was in grade school, it was a crime for a man to dress up like a women. So, I do believe that society is more accepting. Maybe not to the degree that you would like, but it does not mean it is not more accepting.

[flatlander_48]

You can call BS if you like, however in the late 60s when I was in grade school, it was a crime for a man to dress up like a women. So, I do believe that society is more accepting. Maybe not to the degree that you would like, but it does not mean it is not more accepting.

In New York State the law used to be that you had to wear at least 3 articles of clothing consistent with your sex at birth. Back in the Stonewall days, it was the excuse used for rousting crossdressers and drag queens...

DeeAnn

[Khora]

In New York State the law used to be that you had to wear at least 3 articles of clothing consistent with your sex at birth. Back in the Stonewall days, it was the excuse used for rousting crossdressers and drag queens...

DeeAnn

You can call BS if you like, however in the late 60s when I was in grade school, it was a crime for a man to dress up like a women. So, I do believe that society is more accepting. Maybe not to the degree that you would like, but it does not mean it is not more accepting.

This is absolutely ridiculous. LAWS governing what we can and cannot wear? Sorry, I just get into full Kristina Rage Mode when I hear about stuff like this.

[scarletcd]

Much like in real life I've found that certain demographics end up frequenting different forums or spaces. There are a number of places that maybe cater for different types of demographics.

[Rachael Leigh]

Yes I fit into that demographic and there does seem to be a lot of us here. Acceptance is really not as much as some would like it really depends on where we all live

[Katey888]

You know how much I like messing with statistics on this forum...

I did some analysis on Intro posts from new members and also on active members posts and length of marriage (which gives you a nod towards estimating age) - here's what I found...

Marital/ Relationship status: 68% married/SO
Average length of marriage/ relationship (from members sharing): 28.4 years (highest noted 50 years.. Blue... ) - guess at an average age of early 50s on that premise

Sorry - have no ethnicity figures but that's easy for everyone to work out...

And yes, predominantly male...

Katie - you could spend a long time looking at the other sites out there - I look forward to seeing the results of your survey but to get you started and to give you a flavour... I've only found and registered with one other site (and I have minimal activity there for reasons that will become apparent, but not to be judgmental...) in the UK - that's TVChix - which is an unapologetic dating site for CD/TV/TG folk. Here's a summary of how it looks...

A quick proximity search there comes back with about 600 members in a 12-15 mile radius of my location.
A rough count shows a split of about 60/40 CDs/ Admirers
Of the CDs, a fraction are only there for chatting, not dating - perhaps 10% out of the 60%
The 40% Admirers are clearly there for dating... plus...

I know of only a handful of our members here who are even in this part of the country, and only a couple that are within 12-15 mile - but there are 300 girls on TVChix (maybe not all active) and I'm betting most wouldn't have the patience with the sort of discussions we have here...

Does cd.com attract similar folk to the established membership? Of course - that's reflected by the fact that guests can view our MtF discussions here openly (not so on other sites) and see what they're getting into before they join. Are any of the 300 I mentioned above likely to join? Not many - I know of one girl here other than me who's on that site, and she's not a very active member here.

This is why I believe we represent such a niche in the CD/TG world here - and perhaps why the rest of society has such a skewed view of the CD/TG world once you're prepared to open your eyes and your mind to what happens out there, beyond this place...

Katey x

[Katie Russell]

Thanks for your insight Katey.

I did a quick look an only found another couple of sites with around 1,000 members each. If we are to believe that 3% of the male population CD then the membership of this and other sites isn't high when you consider it is global. Maybe the subject matter of many posts don't appeal to younger, single CD and hence we find ourselves talking with other middle aged, married, white males .

I know the saying about 'birds of a feather ....' which may explain the membership but it does't explain the lack of other alternative sites.

Maybe it's just part of the CD journey and you find yourself needing to talk when you hit middle age!

Katie

[Khora]

I'm white, 32 (not middle aged yet! ) and never married. Where do I fit in?

[JustChris]

I believe that this site (or at least this subforum) seems to attract that demographic based on some of the rules that the mods have put in place.

If you look at something like crossdressing on reddit, it's mostly pictures and not much of the support that you find here. This site seems much better for actual conversations as opposed to the "hey look at me" posts that other sites seem to have.

I don't really think the 3% is really an unreasonable number if you think of it in the whole "spectrum" that ranges from just wearing underwear, to going out presenting as a female.

[Katey888]

I'm white, 32 (not middle aged yet! ) and never married. Where do I fit in?

Kristina - you are our future... and probably fit in smaller sizes than most of us...

Katey x

[stacey.eyes]

Interesting conversation, and want to contribute one more data point to it: In the Washington, D.C. area, there are at least two or three meetup groups for TS/CD girls. One I'm in has more than 500 members, but to my knowledge fewer than a dozen of them are also members of this forum. So that suggests that there are quite a few out there who are active and who get out, who aren't looking for the kind of online support that CD.com provides.

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm past middle age and I'm widowed, but when I joined my wife was alive and I was much closer to mid-life. Why here? The members of this forum have demonstrated a willingness to address our questions with respect and considerable thought. The Mods have been pretty consistent over the years and discussion can come from a wide range of perspectives, including the full range of TG people and both approving and disapproving S.O.s. I'm not sure what younger CDs are looking for, but for the mid-life generation, there have been fewer options for this type of support than may exist for a younger crowd.

[Khora]

Kristina - you are our future...

We're DOOMED...

[Gillian Gigs]

If the demographics, guilty as charged.
This makes me wonder if the younger crowd are using facebook and twitter more than us in the older generation. The fabric of the social network has changed and old habits die hard.

[Lily Catherine]

As one of the younger members of this thread, I must admit that Tumblr is one of the more visually-oriented platforms that my generation openly embraces, though unfortunately as far as cross-dressing goes, they tend to be more lewd and directly open to the point of exposing genitalia on purpose. I couldn't make this up if I tried; though their intention is certainly to flaunt the gender duality, rather than to hide it as some of us try to do.

I reckon access and intention to access are the key factors that determine the demographics here. Compared to visual platforms (Tumblr / Instagram / Reddit etc.), the forum layout as it is definitely promotes discussion rather than visuals that clamour for attention (not an inherently bad thing). Talking (writing?) definitely feels much more cathartic and brings discussion to a much higher level than mere images. A picture can well paint a thousand words, but these 1000 words will vary with each individual.

(For the record, as of time of publication, I'm considered young, single, ethnic Chinese male, and this is the only site I have signed up for after searching for motivations / reasons for cross-dressing.)

That already being said, there have to be many more unseen ones unwilling to risk the stigma out there (before I joined the forum, I hesitated because of said stigma). Especially in Singapore, we're a pretty visible minority, but are most likely lone wolves what with everyone's not-in-my-bloody-backyard attitude in the face of infrequent cross-dressing on television. Only a few with little perceived loss would actually sign up I guess.