What am I into?

[Lorri_c]

Hi everybody,

I haven't logged in for a long time.

I am in love with a girl at work, I let her know how I feel with negative responses. It was a let down. At the same time my friend has started posting vlogs about what it means to be transgender and, mostly because, she is transgender I am finding myself attracted to her more than anyone.

I guess transgender women turn me on the most but also women like the girl at work, the women that are incredibly sexy but make it seem effortless. Another big crush is a girl that wears no makeup but is absolutely stunning anyway.

I definitely have a massive urge to emulate them but a far larger urge to be with them.

Writing this I think what I'm getting at is that I have a massive fetish for feminine beauty. I also feel like the lack of me being with somebody who is incredibly super sexy makes me want to somehow emulate that in myself.

Does anybody hear feel that the idea and excitement of dressing up is a direct reflection on you not being with somebody that does? Am I kidding myself (I still have makeup in my drawer!)?

[Sarah Doepner]

I once wondered if my crossdressing were a result of not being in a satisfying relationship, then I got in a satisfying relationship and still dressed. So no, I do believe it is something other than a response to our relationship status. At least that's the way it's working for me.

[Christispanties]

Lorri - I can see where you are coming from, I guess, I live pretty lingerie and sexy outfits, I want my wife to wear them all the time, she has started to more and more...but I still want to wear them myself just as much, not sure if that means I know where your coming from or not...lol

[YvonneDreams]

I know where you are coming from. I see beauty in all women in some small way or another. I actually ran into a TG today. I work in a restaurant and the server carded her(he's a gay CD BTW) She still had a male ID. I don't know how far she was, (she had her own boobs min) but she was so pretty, I was taken aback. We had a short very friendly conversation, I only regret not telling her how beautiful she looked. The brief interaction left me with a smile and she was smiling as well, it was borderline flirting I guess. Any who . . I've never been with a transgender but I'm not opposed as long as she has all her she parts.
As far as CDing as a compensation for not having a realtionship, I can say this I was hanging out with a lady friend, nothing to serious, and couldn't wait for her to leave so I could dress. Is that mean? Idk.

[docrobbysherry]

U may be sticking your toe into a VERY complicated sea, Lorri! One which few dressers want to think about, much less discuss!

There's a word for those that find their feminine images arousing, exciting. Autogeniphilia? I find it easier to chat about it than many. Being single, I don't need to make pretenses about why I dress. I started trying to immitate women, and the looks, that I found attractive. Now, as long as I appear to be any woman, with nothing that identifies me as male, I'm satisfied!

I tried dating. But, having Sherry at home made dating 50 and 60 y/o women difficult for me. In a number of ways. I can admit that now. I miss feminine companionship and affection. But, I'm divorced and know that the good things in a relationship come at a price!

If I was stuck in a tired marriage? I would be afraid to even think about that, much less admit an attraction to my fem self!

[VAWyman]

OMG, no, no, no.

Someone once told me "Don't get your honey where you make your money." Pretty sage advice. Way too many complications. I've seen people get fired, get promoted way beyond their abilities (they slept with the boss), work morale suffers, projects get delayed, hurt feelings after a breakup, rumor mill get churning, divorces, spurned spouses showing up at the office where they scream at the offending partner or the playmate, all sorts of problems. It just is not worth the effort, and there are plenty of fish in the other pond.

[kimdl93]

Everyone has fantasies and the brain is wired to respond to basic feminine attributes. But finding women attractive...even beautiful....and sexually appealing is not love. It's simple desire. I guess that you're fairly young and inexperienced from your post. One very important life lesson that you need to learn soon is the difference between such desire and love. Crushes are fine for Tweens. Adult relationships require substance. You don't just pick a target for affection and pronounce it love. Getting to know the other person and allowing yourself to be known.

I'm reminded of a line from and old song: ...learn to earn what lovers own... It's a good deal more satisfying than emulating the object of ones fantasies.

[Beverley Sims]

I think you are perfectly normal in your reactions, the reason for including transgender in your repertoire is your knowledge of them.

You will find someone that fits your mould one day and it may come surprisingly sooner than you think and probably from a direction you have not considered.

[sometimes_miss]

Our brains only have so much capacity for thinking. We often suppress thoughts that we don't want to deal with, can't deal with, or don't have time to deal with; that takes a certain amount of your total thinking capacity, whether you're aware of it or not. When you're under stress, you may 'run out' of all available 'brain power' and the ability to suppress unwanted thoughts gets tossed aside because there are things which are more important to think about; it's often at those times when you may feel the urge to crossdress more strongly than when everything in your life is going smoothly. You may at other times feel the urge to crossdress increase; your mind is busy working even when you don't notice that you're thinking about anything. For example, your skin is sending information about how it feels to your brain all the time. You just don't notice it until something changes.

[Jaymees22]

What am I into? It sounds like you are into admiring feminine beauty regardless of who possesses it, yourself included. Hugs Jaymee

[deebra]

No you're not kidding your self, if you love women as crossdressers do and you see a beautiful woman it's just natural to go home and dress and try and make your self into her and her beauty. What CD wouldn't????