So, with stories of porn addiction, etc. being like a drug, and getting stronger the more you do it. Do you think there's any weight to the idea that if you obsess over crossdressing that you desire it more and more? You are "growing" the desire? I ask because at times crossdressing has been linked by some to obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Everyone is different, for some, with addictive personalities for instance, I'm sure it can become an obsession, and for others, it's just fun, they can take it or leave it... and then of course there are all the points between those two somewhat extreme positions. YMMV.
Last edited by Paula_Femme; 01-28-2015 at 08:51 AM.
Black is ALWAYS the, "New Black!"
"I really hate it when people accuse me of wearing Womens clothes... these aren't Womens clothes... I f*****g bought them!!!" Eddie Izzard.
I've allowed a sub-personality to surface, but at this stage I still control how much "air time" she has, and it's been stable for about 24 months (about 8 hours per week).
I'm sure as my other interest drop to lower levels, she will get more time, and if my other interest increases, she will get less time.
I don't have any money, but I'm OCD about money, so that's kind of an opposite to your hypothesis.
I like working but haven't gotten OCD with that either
But....
my wife tells me I don't have an addictive type personality, so that might negate my argument above and you need an addictive personality to start with, to get hooked on porn, tennis, golfing, alcohol etc.
So could your question be interpreted as Crossdressing leading to gender reassignment? for most of us I would say NO
See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz
Hell-o Amanda,
I just had this discussion with my SO an hour or 2 ago.
She has just been introduced to my CD side about 6 months ago, and still questions where
or how far I intend to go with it. I continually assure her that I have never considered transition, and
have no feelings that I want or need to be a woman. I also tell her I can't explain why I CD, and there is no consensus among us as to why we do it.
With that said, This past weekend we spent our first night out (while I was dressed) everything went well and we, very happily, spent the rest of the weekend together. On my way to our second home (yes ,we are currently living in separate homes) I stopped and changed into Kristyn in my truck. I then drove and stopped at an outlet mall and went shopping en-femme.
I told her about this this evening, her response was "so you want to be a girl". I assured her again, that wasn't the case. It was just an opportunity, and I took advantage of it. (you have to understand where I live, its not a quick trip to anywhere, so shopping an outlet mall while dressed is really rare)
Her problem was that I had dressed on Friday, and then again on Sunday, so naturally she thinks I dress every other day, not the case, and far from it. She was worried to say the least, and I think was hinting at setting dressing limits. Would depriving me of dressing make me want to do it any less?
Have you ever heard that absence make the heart grow fonder, I don't think it's just about people we miss.
But in the past I have wondered, is this a form of the Law of Attraction? OCD? Etc. Maybe so now, but where, and when, did this all get it's start? Back when I was 7 years old. I suppose it's possible a 7 year old can have OCD, but can OCD disappear for 12 years, return again, disappear for another 20 years, and return again? You tell me.
Much Love,
Kristyn
I smile because you are my friend, and
I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it!!!
I was just thinking today that I can't wait for winter to come back so I can wear a bra or corset under my office clothes and hide it with a baggy jumper or jacket.
It does seem the more you dress the more you want to dress.
The exact opposite. Im letting her out more and more when she wants, not really caring who does or doesnt find out, meanwhile working out what she means and needs. And she seems to be fading away little by little.
I think you find your point that all is ok, and sometimes that even changes due
to life changing. If it takes over your life then professional help is needed.
Everybody is different, there are some common themes, but even those have a number of sub-types, and the permutations of those becomes damn near infinite! I have a theory that because most of us have had this idea that what we do is wrong, the repression and diversions we attempt causes us to twist and deviate from what is underlying the original drive. Then we join this forum, and most of us start to realise it's not wrong, and we start to accept, maybe our SO's start to accept, and suddenly, there is this release, "Whoohooo! Party Time!"
This is where this constant assumption of the thing always growing, and "progressing" Yes, there often is, a progression, but I prefer to view it as a period of changing. In my case, I expected when my SO's reaction was totally accepting, that I would be purchasing a wig, makeup, and attempting a total make over with her help. Hasn't happened. The thought, you could call it the desire, has pretty much gone away. Instead, I wear skirts and hosiery pretty much full time at home, and have visited her family like that. I have recently been given permission to wear skirts at work. My change has been to realise that I don't seem to have a female persona, I don't want to look like a woman, I just have parts of my self that others might describe as feminine, and this is my way of showing that.
My general idea is that we don't know where we are going, because we don't know where we've been. We don't know why, and the repression stops us from properly thinking about why. That period of repression takes time to release, ( in some cases it's been decades! ) and as it comes off, the layers un-peel, and so we see this pattern of change.
"Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO
Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.
The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.
I don't know if it's an addiction or not. I do know, that like my other hobby or addiction, old cars, it's kind of seasonal. I love dressing from Fall to Spring when it's cooler and I love driving my old cars from Spring to Fall when it's warmer. The urge to dress calms down when it's not comfortable to do so.
Addiction? What addiction? Oh wait, there is a great shoe sale a Macy's.
joank
Southern California
I dress daily but seems to be fading as well. Just enjoy it my wife says.
Intense hobby? Maybe. Addiction? Well my counselor once thought of it as a sexual addition--likewise my wife's counselor. But they were from a religious institution--no background in gender studies.
Its only an obsession if you give up more important hobbies for your new hobby. True, I have not seen my ice skates in years. Water skiing--not any more. Snow skiing--dropped off my skis at Goodwill. Boat--can't afford. Photography--still do that--of course.
Yes, I think crossdressing tends to get a bit more intense--judging by the many more dresses in my "special" closet. But perhaps its just that the intensity of the thrill wears off--and so you need more--higher heels, longer hair, bigger boobs. And you begin to accept yourself more (if you are lucky, and found this site), so you are less self-limiting. There are fewer shameful feelings.
Last edited by JenniferR771; 01-28-2015 at 12:23 PM. Reason: ps
I'll offer this analogy. I like to ride bikes. As I got stronger I rode more and harder to get even better. Still, there is a finite amount of riding I can do. Is biking an addiction? Not any more than cross dressing is. Cross dressing freely, for those not wanting to live as a woman, will have it's natural limit.
I really dislike putting labels on cross dressing behavior. I went through my teen years feeling I was a pervert because I could not, and still, understand why I liked wearing women's clothing. A very negative societal impact was evident.
I'm sure there are many "recreational" cross dressers who obsess over dressing because they have very few or limited opportunity to dress. When I was in that situation I found it had a negative effect on my well being. I needed to wear women's clothing for the relief it brought me from the male stress and intrusive thoughts of some prior male experiences. Otherwise I functioned as society thought I should. Now? Well, as a retiree with a still employed wife I have adequate time to dress. How much? Well, at a maximum it's seven hours five days a week. Do I dress those 35 hours? No. I need to get a lot of chores finished during the day. Today, I am dressed and doing inside housework (domestic chores). If it were an addiction I suspect I would get nothing done at all during the week. You know: playing dress up in front a mirror all day. I just mentally plan my wardrobe, get dressed, and, do my chores: wash clothes, ironing, baking, vacuuming, change bed linens.
How much is enough? I suspect if you cannot otherwise function in life, then you are addicted. Sure, there are many who sit in front of a computer and watch porn all day and night. Some others are addicted to playing an on-line game, and, get nothing done.
I will confess the more I became self confident and lost the self loathing about my confused sexuality I took more time dressing. I only dress when I have the opportunity to be fully en femme. It does not prohibit me from fully functioning in other areas of my life, and, my relationship with others.
Well, yes, I do believe that there is some resemblance to addiction.
Our brains are hardwired toward crossdressing. When we crossdress our brains interpret it as actual contact with a female and release a host of neurotransmitters. The neurotransmitters produce sensations of well-being, pleasure, sexual gratification, and bonding. The dopamine neurotransmitters are responsible for the anticipation of gratification and are also identified with addictive behavior. As we do the same thing over and over, it causes the brain to fatigue and release less dopamine. To keep dopamine levels high we go further and further with our crossdressing and take greater risks (its the escalation phenomenon). As a release, each of us needs to find our own comfort level. We all set our own personal limits (unless we transition), and learn to accept ourselves or who we are.
BTW crossdressing isn't just about the dopamine rush. The dopamine will rise and fall, and we will get frustrated if we are focused on the rush experience. Usually, crossdressing is about comfort, a sense of identity, and belonging. This and the sensations of love is attributed to the neurotransmitter, oxytocin.
Again, its just how our brain is hardwired.
Not sure dressing is addictive, per se, but I believe the feeling we individually get from it has its allure. I can only speak for myself, having recently stepped up my dressing, I am finding 2 things. I absolutely enjoy it and feel great while I do so. However, it is a great deal of work to do so completely. I am wrestling with the trade off between the work involved and the enjoyment from it. Being only a crossdresser, not transgendered or in transition, I still like being male, so it's not a way of life for me, more of an interest. This makes the work even more difficult for me. I think if it has become compulsive for someone, there are deeper issues there.
For a while I had complete freedom to dress when I wasn't at work. I went out and if I felt like it I dressed at home. Right now, that option isn't as available and I've been dressing less. I do miss it at times but I can accept it.
On the other hand, I often integrate some of my femme clothing in drab. Unless I go all out it's just more colorful or softer clothing.
Is it an addiction or an evolution, not really sure. But I like it.
Repressing it makes me desire it more than just giving in when the mood strikes.
Last edited by carahawkwind; 01-28-2015 at 11:33 PM.
I agree with Jennifer (post #13). Of course, we are all individuals so there isn't one single answer. For some there may be addictive behaviors related to their crossdressing, but that's not the same as crossdressing being addictive in and of itself. It may seem to be progressive, too, but I think that's often just a matter or working towards the right balance for each person and their current situation and partners and other factors in their lives. And basically, it's only a problem if it's actually a problem.
I cross dress because I love the feel of feminine clothing on my body. It is not an obsession, however the more often I do it, the urge to dress more frequently often follows.
For me? Absolutely. My dressing, fantasies, outings, sexual experiences, etc have continued to grow and I often compare it to the way drug addicts describe their spiral... It starts small, but then you need more... And more.. And more... I know that my wardrobe continues to grow... My fantasies get more intense... My dressing gets more elaborate... I go out in public more often...I'm doing more "risk taking"...Originally Posted by AmandaM
Here's the difference Shiny-J, drug addicts don't see the escalation. And addict doesn't recognize what you recognize about yourself. If one can recognize the problem, one can address it, if one chooses to.
I do not believe that we can create more of a desire because of more frequency. I believe that increased desire is the result of greater acceptance of ourselves. As we become more ok with ourselves we enjoy it more. Less negative stuff flowing through, so it becomes more enjoyable. In some cases, perhaps such effort we have made of repression and denial results in our discovering how much we are on the tg scale.
While dressing alone won cause adiction effect, other behaviors could result,. Shopping addict perhaps. I ve read where some members have several dozen bras or panties. Or dresses. Very few GG's have such a collection, not needed. Especially when such a collection exists when the collector doesn't wear them on a daily basis.
Also, increases narcissistic behaviors lying, deception etc etc. Those are harmful and perhaps addictive behaviors .
If I try to close the door on my feminine self then the urge gets greater. There all times when I wish I could just open up to everyone but at this time that can't happen, just have to keep having to split my time between the two.
I'm not into sports and wish I could stop my nail biting, lose some weight which I'm try to do this year.
I would love to go out and shop as a woman even find employment where I could work as a woman. I think that would help out a lot in feeling better about myself, to just to get out more as a woman.
Our community seems to be confused about cross dressing. Is it an addiction, in which case it can increase or intensify over time, or is it a consequence of some "genetic" disposition mixed with some event(s) in early life?
My own experience is that do I cross dress more frequently for periods of time and these periods are followed by ones in which the desire to cross dress diminishes. So the waxing and waning of desire could be properly described as cyclical or episodic. The classic case of course is the purge when, for whatever reason, we decide that it is over. This is followed some months later by regret and remorse over getting rid of so much good stuff, but that seems more episodic and may only occur once or just a few times in some cross dressers life.
I don't read many stories of alcoholics or drug addicts voluntarily ditching their alcoholism for a period of time. Usually they need assistance from counsellors or some other intervention. If cross dressing is an addiction then we should be able to find intervention programmes that will "cure" us.
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