Hi everybody,
I haven't logged in for a long time.
I am in love with a girl at work, I let her know how I feel with negative responses. It was a let down. At the same time my friend has started posting vlogs about what it means to be transgender and, mostly because, she is transgender I am finding myself attracted to her more than anyone.
I guess transgender women turn me on the most but also women like the girl at work, the women that are incredibly sexy but make it seem effortless. Another big crush is a girl that wears no makeup but is absolutely stunning anyway.
I definitely have a massive urge to emulate them but a far larger urge to be with them.
Writing this I think what I'm getting at is that I have a massive fetish for feminine beauty. I also feel like the lack of me being with somebody who is incredibly super sexy makes me want to somehow emulate that in myself.
Does anybody hear feel that the idea and excitement of dressing up is a direct reflection on you not being with somebody that does? Am I kidding myself (I still have makeup in my drawer!)?