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Thread: what defines us?

  1. #1
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    what defines us?

    Does the clothes we wear define who we are?
    will the job you'll do define who you are?
    The good things you do or crime you commit will they define you?
    What defines a human beings.
    Have we lost the purpose of existence.

  2. #2
    Girl from the Eagles Nest reb.femme's Avatar
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    In this country, I don't think the media helps a great deal. So many times I hear journalists and radio presenters making gags about guys in dresses etc., but I don't think society is ready for a wholesale change in that respect at all. I don't let the comments affect me as I'm not the hapless victim type. What we do in public certainly helps shape the general perception of those we interact with, but the general populace will not be changing their views/assumptions on trans people even so.

    Rebecca
    Flying high under the spell of life!

    http://www.rebsweb.co.uk

  3. #3
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Rah, Rah Rah! Wow! You are asking questions that the ancients and hundreds of generations have asked. I won't give you any theological or religious answer here. We all wear "MANY HATS" IN OUR HUMAN LIVES! aND DIFFERENT"COSTUMES" . I was never normal, even before starting experimenting with mom,and sisters clothes. Never been normal, but did not like being such a strange person, not fitting in anywhere. I would say that we are here to learn, and build good character, whether we are dressers or not, to learn to practice kindness, mercy, humility, stand against oppression of any kind, and hopefully have a little fun,too. But, too often life is mostly agony and suffering, and loneliness, and being branded and misunderstood, for too many. My life has been almost all bitter for the last five years having to be with my loveless, sick family of origin. No money to move away either. But, i try to find solice in my cats, birds outside, fishing, bicycling, WHEN IT IS NOT SUB-ZERO ICE AND SNOW, and dressing in secret, crying to a Higher Power. Some wise man said long ago, "All is vanity, and trying to catch the wind."
    Last edited by Alice Torn; 03-05-2015 at 10:05 AM.

  4. #4
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I'll just be me and let others try to apply the definitions. I've got much more to think about than that.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Maybe.
    No.
    Either a philanthropist or a criminal.
    Biology.
    Nope!
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  6. #6
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    in the "real world" your clothing is used to define you, yes, its how everyone knows, albeit unconsciously, who you are, how to interact
    the job may define you at work in terms of how others interact/relate, few people treat others equally all the time
    the "system" may well define you by crimes committed and indicted
    human beings are incarnated souls, purpose here, to live, to experience, that's it.

    it's how you define yourself and your own sense of purpose that matters most imho.

    by crossdressing we are challenging the social order, the expectations of others, we are redefining how others think of us ... how they do that is unique to each
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  7. #7
    Did you say shopping? Caden Lane's Avatar
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    What defines us is different for each and every person. Unless you are speaking in a broader term and are referring to CD/TG a whole.

    On the personal level, who we are defines who we are. Whatever moral guide or compass you follow, whatever decision making process you have, the sum total of your choices good and bad. The legacy you leave, the lives you touch, the absence of your passing, and who feels that. Those are the tangibles and intangibles that represent a small portion of what defines us and makes us who we are.

    What we wear does not define us, unless we choose to take that, and the mantle of defending those who wear the same and defend them, and make efforts towards fighting for their rights. Then, in a way, what you wore defined you; it lead you to become an activist for others. But in that example, the act of wearing clothes wasn't the defining element, it was merely a catalyst for greater things.

    As for the purpose of existence; that too is based on each individual. Our goals are our own, what we seek out of life, and what we get out of life are all on us. The purpose of my existence is to simply be. To exist, to leave a good legacy, a positive mark in others lives, to be a memory somewhere. To have been the best me I could be, the be the happiest me I can be. To me, that is the epitome of "simply being." By doing that, we "live deliberately" as Thoreau said.

    Ever & Always,
    Caden Lane
    Last edited by Caden Lane; 03-04-2015 at 04:11 PM.
    "These aren't 'women's clothes'. These are my clothes. I bought them with my own money."
    Eddie Izzard

    I'm flipping genders, what's your super power?!?!

    Please visit my wordpress blog: http://southerncrossdresser.wordpress.com

  8. #8
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    We are crusaders against bigotry obsolete notions and natural weakness of humankind

  9. #9
    Happy in life KlaireLarnia's Avatar
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    Can't speak for anyone else but I say:

    No, We define the clothes we choose to wear
    No because we change jobs as roles as life progresses. A job is always where you are at that point, not who/where you will be.
    Both, depends on who is looking and why. Most importantly why do you care which it is?
    We do
    No, we never had it to loose.

  10. #10
    Super Moderator Jeri Ann's Avatar
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    “To be is to do”—Socrates.
    “To do is to be”—Jean-Paul Sartre.
    “Do be do be do”—Frank Sinatra.

    Jeri

  11. #11
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Being CD doesn't define ME. It's a facet or element but not the definitive.

    Go as a contestant on a daytime tv quiz show and when asked to "Tell us about yourself" you'll talk about work, marriage status, "and in my spare time......". Are you really going to say I cross dress? If we ask of society that CD'ing shouldn't be a big thing, something that doesn't demand scrutiny then why should we let it define us? I'd much rather be considered as a decent person who is considerate to others, is helpful to strangers, an all round "good egg".

    If I were to be remembered simply as that bloke who cross dressed then I'd feel I'd wasted my time on earth. Surely it should have no more significance that supporting a particular football team.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  12. #12
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Other people mostly. I know who I am. How others define us is their take on it.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  13. #13
    Silver Member Jilmac's Avatar
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    I believe it's truth that defines all of us, being true to others as well as ourselves is the best definition of humanity, male or female.
    Luv and Jill


    Straight, into Fantasy Land

  14. #14
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    Depends on who I am at the time
    Dependable dad
    Mechanic man
    Head cook
    Friendly lady

    Do I want to be defined - no
    and yet, deep inside my soul (at the core of the onion, deep past all other personalities), is something that beyond time, and beyond love, as we know it.

    Purpose of existence - to exist, experience and learn, then eventually leave room for others to also experience and learn
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  15. #15
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    I think as human beings we take ourselves too seriously. We're never satisfied and we always want more and be better than other. The media and government hasn't helped and both are corrupt and manipulative and everything has become a busines, even our emotions. To be happy you got pay the price(like movies games tv etc), you wanna get out of your sorrow show us money and we'll help you Because no-one has time for anyone else because life is so fast that no-one wanna gets left behind.
    I think the soul purpose of every human of this planet is to serve this planet just like every other living organism. Everything else comes later but most people just don't care about this planet and that whats sad they're distracted by other things which really is an illusion if you look at, it's just has been put inside your brain.

  16. #16
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    What defines me. My soul, my spirit, my personality. My gender, and so many things subsumed under it. My connections to others. My purpose is simple - to serve a power greater than myself by serving others as best I'm able.



    Stuff doesn't define me - although I admit that I can be terribly vain about things like clothes, makeup, my nails, my hair. So I can't say some of it isn't important to me - it is. But if I had to lose those things, I'd get by.


    My gender does define me more than I'd ever have expected. I'm stereotypically feminine. I really enjoy being a woman. And were I forced to stop HRT, and de-transition, I'd perish - I'd choose death over that.

  17. #17
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    Rah,
    Historically clothes have played a major part in defining us ! More aggressive clothes in battle to intimidate the opposition , an expensive suit to impress and dominate the office ! Clothes certainly give us as CDers any identity we choose , and don't we all love it !! Yes we need and use clothes to define us, without them we have no identity !

    As for your thoughts on helping the planet, as human beings we feel we are committed to it ! But we are fleeting passers by, the planet will out survive us all ! We may think we are causing it's death but without us Earth would still change, species would still come and go as indeed we will ! More importantly we should care and think about ourselves and try and do the same to others !

  18. #18
    Claire Claire Cook's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cheryl T View Post
    I'll just be me and let others try to apply the definitions. I've got much more to think about than that.
    Cheryl, my take too. Paula, I love your first paragraph.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club

  19. #19
    Member CountessVF's Avatar
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    I think what defines us is how we treat each other, especially those we disagree with. If we display kindness and understanding, even if they only offer condemnation and contempt. And I think it goes for each of us regardless of which fabrics we are wearing, denim or a dress if you're mean to people, you suck.

  20. #20
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    I believe we will be defined by our generosity, our attitude about life and the good we do in our lives. This is especially in being the best fathers n husbands we can be. I taught many years of school and feel I have touched many lives. Most would be shocked that sometimes I enjoy wearing non traditional male clothing, but many that I taught would not be shocked as they got what I taught from day one and that is that in the whole realm of mankind's existence on this planet that our lives are short. Do what you enjoy in life but always be honest with yourself and others, love is something one should have for all humans but not all humans will love you back, and to never take our freedoms for granted. Those freedoms were bought with a price. An appreciation of the small things in life and sharing that appreciation with those closest to us is a blessing to every one but not every one will appreciate what matters to us. Live for the day, love like you want to be loved and always remember at the end of your life you will be one short breath away from how other people will remember and define your place in this world. Do you want to leave this world a better place or to be forgotten because you didn't live life for all it is worth?

  21. #21
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Like most men, I'm primarily defined by my job. Working in a primarily female occupation, always suspect of being gay, I have to go out of my way to not support the stereotype. Everyone I work with knows that I took the job to support my family after I lost my job in finance. I work out, and whenever there's a social function at work I bring a pretty female friend. I'm rather good at what I do, so I have extra cash, try to be generous when I can. Put two people through college already, kids not related to me but who grew up poor and knowing how hard it was for me to work and go to school, I promised them when in high school that if they kept their grades up, I'd pay whatever they couldn't get grants and scholarships for. At Christmas I usually send gifts to people I know who don't have much. So while I know that if some accident happens, and it comes out that I'm a crossdresser, I really hope they'll remember all the good things that I've managed to do, not just as the freaky old pervert.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

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