Though I’ve been crossdressing secretly for most of my adult life, and have been out with it since my mother passed in 2000, it’s only lately, as I approach my 69th birthday, that I’ve become clear about where I fit on the spectra of gender. I’d like to share a summing up, and will appreciate any comments you care to make.
I met my wife in 2002 while crossdressed; she accepts, approves, and participates. I retired three years ago, freeing me to dress whenever I like. These days I always underdress, often present female at home, usually dress up for social outings in Philadelphia and New York, and once in a while she also crossdresses. Though I’m out to my family, I dress en drab for them, and I’m mostly en drab around our small-town neighborhood.
A couple of years ago my sweet wife wrote on this site about how she has fun with shopping together, nail salon together, dressing up to step out on the town together, and crossdressing herself to enjoy the sloppy ease of men's clothes. My wife likes that I've become autonomous in my shopping, dressing and makeup. We do lots of things together, but nothing's required of her, she can do what she wants and I will take care of my girl self as well as my guy self. At the same time she enjoys tweaking my presentation, she likes that I listen to her and take her fashion advice.
I notice that as my confidence grows and crossdressing becomes an everyday thing, the in-your-face, the adrenaline, and the stress have all gone out of it. Aside from bra and forms I’m accepting my body without corsetry and shapewear. I’m wearing slacks as much as skirts and dresses, pantyhose more than stockings, and sensible shoes. I’m dressing my age and appropriate to the occasion, not as a teenager nor party girl.
Being out and not shy, we like to engage with other people as they read us and respond. We notice that we get more attention together than we ever would as individuals or as a regular pair of young seniors. Our confidence makes us approachable – paradoxically, cross-dressing has made it easier to meet people. Our comfort level puts others at ease. Sometimes they "confess" their own crossdressing to us, and our example has encouraged some folks along their own gender journeys.
When I dress I enjoy presenting female, imitating female mannerisms, and trying to see the world from a woman’s point of view. Yet I’m a confirmed dude and do not plan to have gender surgery nor take hormones. I blend but do not pass, due to my deep voice with man hands, man physique, and man stance. The best I can do, and what I like to do, is present myself as an elegant, confident, and interesting crossdressing man. And I am so lucky and so grateful to have such a terrific wife.
