You know, everytime I think about doing something I have these thoughts that run through my head. Even though my wife knows about Nikki and now even acknowledges her (big plus), I'm scared. Here's an example. I run the scenario though my head of what I'm going to do. For example the other night it was just my wife and I in our bedroom. It was a bit late and we're getting ready for bed. She comes in wearing her yoga pants. I thought well if she has them on why not I? She knows I have several pairs and has even bought me some as well. I think to myself I'm going to go put mine on as well too. I get up and walk to the closet, I stand there and stare at the pants and think "I can't". And turn around and go back in the room. Why? This is not the only time there's been other times as well. Example two. Everytime I want to paint my nails I send my my a text with a picture I've found through Pinterest of the same nail color. I say is this ok for me to paint my toes? She writes back sure, it's a pretty color. I paint my toes and the when she's around I keep my socks on. The other night she asked for me to get in the bath with her I said ok. But I was trying to hide my toes as much as I could. She saw them and could careless. She even made a comment one time and said I want to borrow that color for my nails. Why do I feel as if I'm a big chicken. I have these ideas or thoughts that run through my head of what I'm going to do or how to do it and then back out like a big chicken. Does anyone feel this way or have similar experiences? What or why does this make on feel this way? Anyone have any insight to? Please help me understand this thought or feeling process.
Nikki