Ditch the drab

[ophelia]

I find the terms 'drab', and 'en drab' inaccurate and demeaning. There is nothing wrong with appearing as male.

Would we call our brothers on the Female to male dressers side of the street "drab"?

When I am in male mode I dress well with good hygene. I do not appear "drab". Could we use MM (male mode) and FM (female mode) instead?

FYI: From The Concise Oxford English Dictionary (1973)

drab (1) slattern; prostitute, (plus two other nasty terms quite rightly not allowed here).
drab(2) dull light brown colour; dull, monotonous

I am never any of these in male mode.

While I get the acronym, I still don't like it.
Some of you have offered the term "Bob Mode" I have no trouble insulting Bobs.

[NicoleScott]

Drab can mean dull, not colorful. Some people here use it to mean DRessed As a Boy but not necessarily dull.

[pamela7]

it took me a long time to work out drag and drab meant "dressed as girl/boy". Given the drab colours of typical male clothing, the bright colours and happy experience of being en-femme (FM) for me do reflect emotionally drab, however its no "drag" at all to be FM. It's the meaning we put on it, and we are not demeaning nor intending to demean others, its our own world being expressed.

[Laura912]

A rose by any other name is a tulip... as usual, we frequently mix languages, French-en and English-drab, to make a point. To be more precise, perhaps we should use en femme and en homme or if my high school French is a little weak, whatever the "homme" should be.

[Rachel292]

I'm a member of numerous other fora (mainly UK based) , one term commonly used there in place of 'drab' , is Bob or "Bob mode" - Bob being used as a generic male name , no matter what your actual male name is. I must confess I find it preferable to 'drab' , and agree with Ophelia.

[Sarah-RT]

I like the thought process on drab/drag as explained above but up until now I took drab to mean dull/boring which at times it can be but is agree that it's seems a little down putting in the same way some of us don't like transvestite or crossdresser etc, depending on your preference.

[Victoria Demeanor]

I see what you are saying, but I don't believe it is being used in a demeaning way here. I never used or heard the term drab used in this way until I came here, but I have taken it for what it is, dressed in male mode for guys. Words change there meanings through out the years and do not necessarily keep with the dictionary meanings. For instance when I was growing up it was common for straight people to be gay, or to have a gay old time. I think that has changed. If I said that girl was so fly, by the dictionary term I would be saying she appears to be a small insect that likes poop. pretty sure that's not how I meant it.
If the term Drab does bother you, you are not required to use it. use what ever word, phrase or acronym you like and if we can not figure it out we'll ask. With as accepting as this site is, I believe we will all understand.
Yes when I am dressed in my normal male mode, I think I look quite good, but I am simply in line with our societies norms. Not standing out, just fitting into what everyone expects. So I think drab actually works here.

[Kate Simmons]

What in an acronym really? A bright person can wear drab clothes and drab person can wear bright clothes. The proof of the pudding is in the eating really as who we are eventually comes through regardless.

[JayeLefaye]

I'm a member of numerous other fora (mainly UK based) , one term commonly used there in place of 'drab' , is Bob or "Bob mode" - Bob being used as a generic male name , no matter what your actual male name is. I must confess I find it preferable to 'drab' , and agree with Ophelia.

But in Holland, a few years ago, there was a big Designated Driver Campaign, with billboards all over the country asking "Are you Bob, or am I Bob?",and "Don't Leave Home Without a Bob", because "Bob" was the generic male name they used for the designated driver. Would be amusing to visit Holland and drive down the road with some Brits, and have someone 'fess up to being a British version of a bob.

Jaye

[CynthiaD]

I use the term "drab" to describe my feelings when I'm in male mode. Female mode is so mochore exciting.

[Katey888]

“'When I use a word,’ Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, ‘it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.’
’The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean so many different things.’
’The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘which is to be master — that’s all.'”
― Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass

Which quote comes back to me again and again on this site...

However - it highlights a vital point about language and meaning, which is that if we don't share a common meaning and understanding ('which is to be master'...) we lose the capacity to truly communicate with each other and share a dialogue. Mind you, there's probably some times and folk that wouldn't be a bad thing to happen...

I think you should try not to be offended about how you may feel this makes your male mode seem Ophelia - no more than being 'in drag' is being 'a drag'... quite the obverse for most of us, I think?

(And I applaud your use of the OED, even if concise, as your source of truth for the Queen's English... )

Katey x

[Teresa]

Ophelia,
I feel drab sums up how I feel when dressed in male mode, they just serve the purpose they are intended but just boring , even when going out the most exciting thing you can wear is a new tie ! Whoopee ! I guess you could change drab to boring !
My wife says she hates shopping but there is always something new in a bag or an online delivery ! Then she'll go off and check the purchase and put things together ! New guy stuff just gets stuck on a hanger, maybe with a shirt or trousers my wife puts with them thinking I might enjoy wearing them at some point to go out !

[Jeninus]

FYI: From The Concise Oxford English Dictionary (1973)

drab(2) dull light brown colour; dull, monotonous

I think the second definition of "drab" Ophelia quoted from the The Concise Oxford English Dictionary (1973) precisely describes male clothing, especially: "dull, monotonous." Consider a "formal occasion" when the women appear in an absolute kaleidoscope of colours, gown lengths, and styles, ranging from pleated chitons (similar to ancient Greek women's clothing) to gowns similar to those worn in 18th century France, to smart cocktail dresses, etc. What do the men get to wear? Black tuxedos - maybe with cummerbunds of various colours. So the men look like a flock of penguins, is that not dull, monotonous?

Yes, when women wear clothes traditional to post 18th century males, we don't say they are in "drag." But 99% of the population know that "drag" is an acronym for "dressed as girl." "Drab" is probably an insider term in our community, but it is not inappropriate to how so many of us feel about having to dress as boy. As an attorney, there is nothing more irritating than having to dress in a suit, long-sleeved white or blue shirt and tie on a hot, muggy day in July to go into court when the women attorneys are permitted to wear light, sleeveless dresses and little else and still be considered to be appropriately dressed. Life's not always fair, particularly if you have some degree of GID, so let us not ditch the term "drab" as it does describe the feelings of so many of us.

[justmetoo]

I never heard of that first definition of drab. No one I know uses drab in that sense. Most "muggles" I know use drab in the "dull, boring, lacking color" sense. And that describes the usual male clothing in my neck of the woods (or anywhere else, barring more fun stuff like steampunk fashion or Ren Faire garb, for example). I certainly don't see many dapper gents where I live. On the other hand, like some people said or alluded to, depending on the definition of drag one uses that word also doesn't seem flattering to femme mode. It comes down to which definitions one uses, I feel.

That said, I tend to use en femme/en homme or femme mode/male mode or, when referring to myself specifically, my male name or my femme name, to differentiate between the two modes (but not different persons or personalities).

Muggles is from Harry Potter. It's the wizards' term for people who don't do magic. In some circles (of various sorts) I'm in people use it to refer to people who aren't in those circles. Just ordinary people, really.

[Lorileah]

I think the definition(s) "Dressed as a girl" or "Dressed as a boy" are slang terms made up recently most likely by the TG community. Drab was probably coined in response to "drag" as a way of saying less flamboyant, more mainstream, daily. It isn't a slight on any one. But "Drag" has been around a long time so the dressed as a girl definition is weak and fairly new.

Where did the term "drag" come from for cross dressing? It has been around for at least 100 plus years. One of the original definitions was because the skirts "drag" in the 1800's. Also there were parties where men dressed. Men only. A normal male party was a "stag" party. A common idiom still used is "Stag or drag" which we now refer to as alone or with a date.

From the Oxford dictionary (so at least the Europeans can accept this I think...I will have to look up what Webster says since the US takes that as gospel)

OED marks this as slang:

3.g. Feminine attire worn by a man; also, a party or dance attended by men wearing feminine attire; hence gen., clothes, clothing. slang.

1870 Reynolds's Newsp. 29 May 5/5 We shall come in drag.
1927 Sunday Express 13 Feb. 5/5 A drag is a rowdy party attended by abnormal men dressed in scanty feminine garments, singing jazz songs in high falsetto voices.

so as you can see there are references to this being long before anything that we use here. As noted in one source acronyms were not used that often before WWI so considering that "drag" has been used for years before that , the dressed as a girl thing is unlikely. Thus the opposite dressed as a boy would also be very recent in response because we need opposites for everything I guess. I think if you really need an answer it is the TG's response to not being pretty anymore

PS Katey, I love the Alice quote

[Tina955]

I find the terms 'drab', and 'en drab' inaccurate and demeaning. There is nothing wrong with appearing as male.

Would we call our brothers on the Female to male dressers side of the street "drab"?

When I am in male mode I dress well with good hygene. I do not appear "drab". Could we use MM (male mode) and FM (female mode) instead?

FYI: From The Concise Oxford English Dictionary (1973)

drab (1) slattern; prostitute, (plus two other nasty terms quite rightly not allowed here).
drab(2) dull light brown colour; dull, monotonous

I am never any of these in male mode.

While I get the acronym, I still don't like it.
Some of you have offered the term "Bob Mode" I have no trouble insulting Bobs.

My male name is Robert, but most call me Bobby, but some call me Bob. Should I feel a little offended? So I guess when I am in male clothes I am in Bob mode.
Also there are portable toilets called Bob on the job. Oh the humanity :-)
Tina

[Julie Denier]

I like "en dude" as a contrast to "en femme"

[justmetoo]

Bob's your uncle? I certainly won't be using the term "Bob mode" - makes me think of Bob Dole, the guy named Bob on the old Becker tv show with Ted Danson, and that Bob guy on the old "male enhancement" ads. :P

[Vala]

But in Holland, a few years ago, there was a big Designated Driver Campaign, with billboards all over the country asking "Are you Bob, or am I Bob?",and "Don't Leave Home Without a Bob", because "Bob" was the generic male name they used for the designated driver. Would be amusing to visit Holland and drive down the road with some Brits, and have someone 'fess up to being a British version of a bob.

Jaye

In English those one liners sound hilarious but besides that and totally off topic I do feel the need to correct you. The bob campaign was originally founded in Belgium and it isn't just a generic male name. Bob actually stands for Bewust Onbeschonken Bestuurder (Deliberately sober driver)

[kimdl93]

I'm entirely OK with using the term drab to describe myself in male attire. Regardless of color or style, I fee drab when dressed as a man.

[JayeLefaye]

Linda said:
"In English those one liners sound hilarious but besides that and totally off topic I do feel the need to correct you. The bob campaign was originally founded in Belgium and it isn't just a generic male name. Bob actually stands for Bewust Onbeschonken Bestuurder (Deliberately sober driver)"

Thank you for the explanation Linda. My Dutch hosts at the time never gave Belgium any credit:-). All I remember was getting off the plane in Amsterdam, and then taking the train down to meet them outside of Cadzand, and all along the journey were these big yellow billboards with BOB in big black letters. My Dutch was limited then, but with my name actually being Bob, and my ego being what it was, I just figured the entire country was welcoming me:-)

Oh, and to add to Justmetoo: Bob was also the funny looking neighbor on "That 70's Show", and is also the most used name by comedians during jokes, as in "My neighbor, Bob, did something really stupid the other day...I don't even answer to Bob anymore, silly name that it is, so I certainly don't want to go out in Bob Mode!!!

Jaye

[Beverley Sims]

Drab?
Just an acronym I have grown to accept.

I would prefer something else, any suggestions?

[Kelli Jo-ann]

Drab is fine. Is everything offensive? Come on people, grow thicker skin.there's a lot of things that offend me but none of them are words.

[Samantha_Smile]

Wow.
Here's me it was the difference between drab and ​Fab!

[Lily Catherine]

I now use "presenting as male (PaM)"/"presenting as female (PaF)" in the spoken word; I do not see "Iris" as a separate entity / identity on my own part. Drab as a spear counterpart to drag has its own set of connotations due to the ostentatiousness that one typically associates with drag (queens), though, and probably does not resonate as much as "male mode / female mode", for me at least.