I've been thinking about my cycles of cd obsession to absence of cd'ing. I noticed a few things and then I thought I would ask..... "Is it strange that..." and then I realized that the only place I could ask these questions was here. Asking that question outside of here is just.... well strange.
So, is it strange that I go through cycles of dressing and not dressing (cycles last only 1-2 months, this isn't a years thing.)?
Is it strange that I usually hate pictures, but when I dress, i love taking selfies?
Is it strange that I get up in the morning and put on a slip, sit on the sink and shave my ugly mug?
Is it strange that I can look at myself while dressed, but not while in drab? (yeah, I have a minor self esteem issue.)
Is it strange that I don't try at all to present? I'm perfectly happy wearing a cami, short shorts while sporting a full beard and chest hair.
Is it strange that I like my breasts? (due to side effects of prescription drugs, I've grown from a 36aaa to a small 36B)
Is it strange that sometimes I go for weeks without taking my anti-estrogen meds because I like my nipples growing (I realize this will leave permanent changes)
Is it strange that I shave my chest during these periods, want to shave legs and want to do my toenails?
Is it strange that these feelings come and go like a switch? I go from thinking I should see a counselor about this, to dirty nails, shaggy hair and lack of desire?
Is it strange that I am even asking these questions? I don't expect an answer - the therapy for me was being able to say what I feel outloud in public without retribution. Administrator could delete this thread if so desired.
Next time I'll ask, Is it all in my mind that.....