Yeah that's the wise approach!!!!!
But honestly I feel more comfortable in the men's. I'm sure its all in my head but I feel I belong there unless I was going to start transitioning.
Yeah that's the wise approach!!!!!
But honestly I feel more comfortable in the men's. I'm sure its all in my head but I feel I belong there unless I was going to start transitioning.
The thing is, if at all possible, you never want to put people in a situation where they feel bad behavior is justified.
When I am wearing womans jeans and a bra underneath, without make up or a wig, I use the men's room. When I am wearing a skirt, high heels, forms, wig and makeup, I use the womens room. It's wise to still be vigilant and cognizant of who is around you. If you look at me, I so not completely pass and I don't want to freak anyone out, nor do I want to create a scene. I'll try to go in when it is not busy, especially avoiding pre teen and teenage girls. I go in, shut the door, do my business and get out. Never had a problem.
In Washington State the law protects transsexuals and cross dressers. Basically, it offers protection for those who are presenting themselves as the opposite gender. Someone above made a distinction between a man transitioning from male to female, and, a cross dresser who is not transitioning. I think society has pretty much accepted the fact there are people 'trapped' in the wrong body. Society really has not accepted the idea of a man wearing women's clothing for 'fun.' I'm sure there are many cross dressers who are passable and blend.
In my locale there have been a news story or two recently concerning men wearing women's clothing and using cell phone cameras to take pictures of women and girls in public restrooms. I'm sure any mother or father is extra careful when their daughters use the facilities. Of course, all the negative press slops over onto all transsexuals and cross dressers.
I think the vast majority of us take careful consideration of others when out en femme. Be realistic! Be prepared for the worst, even if you're legally protected. If a 'family' restroom is available, I would use it before venturing into either a woman's or men's room. I also would make sure I used my home bathroom before venturing out, and, restrict fluid intake.
It only takes one ignorant person to make a scene.
I have read that Planet Fitness article as well and articles about 4 different states that are trying to get laws passed to protect women and children by forcing transgender people to use the restroom that matches their birth gender. One of these states is going as far as letting students sue the school for $2,500 if they catch another student in the wrong bathroom. I think this will send a wrong message and continue bigotry in the USA. The bottom line that I believe is that all these Anti-Transgender laws are stripping the transgender community of their human rights. How long will it take before you start hearing news about people getting harassed or physically beat or worse because they went into the wrong restroom based on their appearance? Anybody that thinks people have to use the restroom that correlates to what is between their legs needs a reality check and realize that people that know they are a person of the opposite gender or just like to express themselves as the opposite gender are still considered a person and a human being; they have the same rights to feel safe from harm as everybody else.
I'm sorry but I really don't feel like being thrown in jail because I made a GG uncomfortable This garbage is exactly why I have to live in the closet. The Florida bill is moving forward, and given how on-party-lines it has been so far, the future is bleak. I hate this state so much.
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/loca...e15120632.html
I'm a girl when I feel like it
There have been a lot of thoughtful responses here to a question that comes up a lot. So thanks to all who have contributed!!!
I fear that my contribution will not further any cause at all, but am going to offer it because I don't think anyone has yet, in any of the "Her's or His' Threads yet .
I, personally, still haven't come to a comfortable solution...
So , what do I do???
I park way out back, or down the street a bit ...Somewhere out of the mainstream traffic and next to some bushes. Then I excuse myself to get some "Fresh air", use my car as a "blocker", hike up my skirt and water the bushes .
12:00 noon, or 12:00 midnight, it doesn't 't matter. If I gotta go , then I'm gonna go... Been doing it for twenty years, with sanity-wipes and a bottle of water to rinse my hands.
Sometimes, it's nice to be able to hike up my skirt and take advantage of my guy "equipment".
But that's just me????
Jaye
Last edited by JayeLefaye; 03-18-2015 at 12:19 AM.
I am very concerned about the Florida bill.
And yes I agree that it is crazy that trans* people should be marginalised in this way.
In a way it is the extention of the 'inappropriate clothing' debate.
Just because someone else is made to feel uncomfortable by you or the way you dress, doesn't mean that you should have to change.
For example, if a male is getting 'turned on' by his sister in a mini skirt, you simply cannot argue that teh fault lies with her wearing a mini skirt. The problem is his. He is having the inappropriate response, not her. You cannot blame her for his feelings, emotions etc.
Now the same is, imho, true of trans* people and toilet facilities. Why oh why is it our fault that (some) men (may) want to physically assault us for using a men's toilet and, nor is it our fault that (some) women (may) feel uncomfortable urinating (or whatever) in a closed, locked and private stall next to a trans* person doing the same. And as for the horror that is washing your hands next to a possibly trans* person!!!???
All we can do is hope that this publicity will start to (re)form public perceptions in a more sensible way, but I do think we need to think carefully about how we respond to this.
Dani,
A lot of us are worried about the Florida bill. Since the bill (here is the wording) expressly defines "sex" (not gender...) as that "sex" one is assigned at birth, it would seem to include ALL transpeople, even post-op people who have had legal gender changes.
I have used ladies' rooms here for years with never a problem. (And as for as I know no female has ever been threatened by my presence.) Will we all be able to do so if this thing passes? I for one would never think of going to the men's room when presenting as female.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club
Transmen should visit the legislature as often as possible and follow the lady representatives into the restrooms, if they even use public restrooms.
DonnaT
That would be like wearing a sign that said Punch Me!!Originally Posted by Claire Cook
OK; that's something I don't get. Why would they be "horrified"?
Women's washrooms have private stalls. I've never seen anyone doing anything remotely private or intimate in the common area of a women's washroom. In fact, I've been to some places where all washrooms are gender-neutral. What's the big deal?
It would be extremely dangerous for me to go to a men's washroom while presenting as female. I'm not going to take my life into my own hands just to pee, thanks.
I don't care anymore. I go out dressed in DRAB and ask if I can try on clothes. The shops I have been in haven't (as yet) complained to me.
I recently went to spoil yourself (a dress shop in Australia) and asked to try on a ball gown. There were other people in the store and I took a wig/boobs etc with me. I tried the dress on in the change room with other women and all very friendly and offered advice. It was great fun and I tried several dresses and bought one.
The SA was pleased to get a sale and asked me to come back anytime.
This wasn't an isolated incident so maybe times are changing.
I think there could be an issue if a woman said she wasnt going back to the store after seeing a guy trying on clothes she may end up buying. I would totally agree with her. Until then I'll keep on trying/ buying clothes as its great fun.
E
Complaining and getting all worked up on a crossdressing forum does nothing at all. The majority of the population thinks it's wrong or even sick for men to "dress up and pretend they are women". The only way for us to have a right to a place to handle our bodily functions is for us to call, e-mail or write our elected representatives and ask them to pass laws protecting our rights and repeal laws that restrict our rights.
I use the ladies restroom but I try to find ones that are private and only one person at a time. I have used larger ones but try and wait for a lull and get in and out.
I have used the womans' room several when presenting as a woman. They were uneventful.
More to the point of the discussion, there are existing laws that make it illegal to assault another person, whether sexually or otherwise. It is currently NOT illegal to have the ABILITY to assault another person.
If we can take it out of the context of sexual assault and apply that standard to another crime it gets really silly. Let's look at the possession of narcotic drugs.
It is illegal for anyone but a licensed pharmacist to sell narcotic drugs (existing law). Some people augment their income by selling their prescribed narcotic drugs (ability to break the law). Should it be made illegal to possess narcotic drugs (criminalize the ability)? Should people be required to visit clinics for each dose they require (compensation for loss of ability)? Would society be better off having people with significant pain management issues, or pharmacy technicians with boxes of drugs for single dose delivery on the roads six times a day (unintended consequences)?
Some things just get sillier every day.
Best wishes
MsVal
Based on how I'm presenting I use the approiate facilities. I try to use the bathrooms in places that have small single occupancy restrooms. This eliminates the possibility of offending a GG in the restroom.
Line looks like it's been pushed even closer and much more easily crossed, if only by how others see "our ilk" in light of rather recent events.
http://www.straitstimes.com/news/sin...ale-toilet-ite
Once I go out presenting as female, guess it'll be the handicapped toilet if I really need it. There are just too many who, sadly, react upon suspicion, like a pre-emptive strike. Unisex single toilets are pretty rare here at any rate. Were they more common I'd have one less grouse.
I have used ladies room many times, if you act like you belong in there its cool. Obviously you must squat to take care of business. Only have had problem at that Arkansas based big box store, so I don't go to that establishment any more. Small joints with one restroom are key, as are Family restrooms. Most folks don't even notice, others don't care. I avoid mens rooms all together that's where problems occur IMO.
I did not walk at Harvard, Princeton or Yale.
But if you examine my record.
You shall see I've earned a PhD
In the art of the fail.
FMS
when enfemme its the ladies rm for i pass,dressed as a male the men rm. never had problems.
As far as I'm aware in the UK all toilets are public spaces so there's no law requiring people to use a certain toilet. So I think when I eventually start going out in public I'll use the one I feel most comfortable entering.
My formula is men's room in the general public and if I am at a gay club I use the ladies room. Got yelled at in a gay club men's room by three guys and I got really pissed and almost started something because I said I was in the right bathroom. Most places are going to family restrooms and heading off the problem
I don't understand why we haven't shifted to unisex bathrooms everywhere and no men/womens. From an engineering perspective, it's way simpler and you can have more stalls for everyone!
As for changing rooms, most rooms are unisex anymore. At Ross, I went dressed up and was sent to the women's changing room. Easy day, no drama. I'm there to try on clothes, not check out the other women, plus the changing rooms are private anyway.
Jennifer, I know in the D.C. area that is the trend, unisex single stall bathrooms.
There are several states where very restrictive bathroom useage laws are being drafted and proposed regarding Trans* use of public restrooms. From my perspective these are all based on unfounded fears and there are probably more problems with Trans* folks using the restroom of their assigned gender when presenting their preferred gender.
But that is all based on individual perception and selective memory. Is there any data out there that addresses this issue? If not, why?
I've asked the local Pride Law Enforcement group this question and they say that gathering the data is difficult since they all use computer records systems that they either purchase or lease. Any changes cost money and they don't have money to spend on something like this. My response continues to be the same; without data laws are being designed without a base in reality and the officers will be required to enforce something that will result in lawsuits and countersuits, costing a lot more money in the long run.
I suggest each of us send a note to local law enforcement, district attorneys and legislators asking how this can be fixed, other than through a blind rush to legislate based only on an undocumented fear.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
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