So something new has been happening lately and I was wondering if any of you ladies or gentlemen for our ftm brothers out there. OK so I kind of have to set this up, I have not gone full time yet. I want to give the hormones time to work their magic and let my hair grow out first. But basically ALL of my dreams are me full time. Any dream analyzers out there that want to take a Crack at this one?
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Six years on hormones and 4 years post-op. In dreams, I am sometimes a woman, sometimes a man, sometimes a boy or a girl, sometimes a disembodied spirit, sometimes another person altogether (men and women). I would not read too much into it.
me too...just last night i dreamed i was back at my old job and i was a man...another time i might dream I'm at my job and i'm myself as i am now..
i never dreamt of myself as a woman prior to transitioning..
it could mean anything or nothing. my advice is to enjoy the dreams
My dreams alternate as well but they're so abstract gender never really plays into anything.
Sometimes I dream that I am a T-1000 Killer Dinosaur. But mostly, I dream that I am being chased relentlessly by zombies.
This is something that always intrigued me about TS. When you dream who are you in the dream? Male or female. Most of my dreams are me as male. If they include transgender it's usually a case of being in a highly stressful situation where I'm being outed. May go to the root of what my fears are in my conscious life.
There's a name for that kind of dream; it's called a nightmareOriginally Posted by Kaitlyn Michele
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Anne, they're not zombies. They are your former friends. Alternatively, they could be, oh, fairies or something, but I don't think they're allowed in WV.
Dreams - dreaming as a female, i.e. specially and NOT "just" dressed, is pretty much confined to (MtF) transsexuals. I remember my first such, which coincided with my identity crisis period. Spectacularly vivid, detailed, in-color, and long.
Lea
I can't remember the last time I woke up and remembered a dream. Maybe that is a good thing.
I think it is pretty simple. You are on hormones and your mind is thinking about it. If your mind brainstorms on something, I think it will be the contributor to the content of dreams.
I can't say I have never had a dream about myself being female or other. I have not had a dream I could remember for like 1000 years or something. I don't even know if I dream at all.
Only vampires don't dream, Jorja.
Lea
I was never comfortable having my picture taken and looking in the mirror I would see aspects or parts of me but never the whole person as that sensation of "thats me!" I was very critical of my appearance (rejecting) even though everyone always had positive things to say about my being "handsome". This was part of the identity conflict raging in my subconscious.
Once I accepted myself by getting past the Transphobia because I had absorbed so much hate of "trans people" as all those remarks you hear, I started to see myself as I really am in my dreams. My dreams followed my acceptance of self and it was particularly strong in the beginning.
With the mirror now reflecting back to me that internalized image I carried around inside my head of what I was supppose to look like it, my image (seeing myself) has become more prevalent in my dreams, when this never happened before.
Its possible that the more you see yourself in the mirror as you are suppose to be, the more accepting you are of what you see and the more it enters your memory. Like a form of imprinting.
I clearly see that I was living as if I was split into two people. My female gender identity that I refused to acknowledge and the pretend identity I was consciously forcing myself to adopt. Transitioning eliminated that split and brought up to the surface what was always there.
This has strongly effected how I dream and because I now "see myself" in the mirror this gets folded back into my dreams.
It is fascinating how my relationship to my own image has changed. It is not vanity because I'm largely indifferent about what you can get by how you look but the discomfort and dissonance is gone.
So nice to not have people telling me I'm handsome. I really hated that. It would make me cringe.
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My dreamscape wasn't altered by HRT much. That didn't come until I started my surgeries, then things dreamwise changed pretty steadily. I suppose I had to subconsciously process my then continually changing relationship with the world around me. Now that those are completed I dream consistently as myself now, though old thoughts and emotions and my role in them might occasionally surface into dreams reminiscent of the past.
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It still makes me cringe, Kelly. I was told TODAY how much someone liked a particular picture of me, taken a couple of years ago. I looked at it - yikes. But I do understand the comment about seeing yourself more or better, too. I can't decide if it's real change, seeing myself differently, or just what. I see things that defy comprehensive analysis. One of them (and the conception is backwards) is seeing my daughter in me, specifically some things I really like in her looks. Those features haven't really changed physically in me, as far as I can tell, but I never saw them that way, at all, ever.
I had a nice chat tonight with another member. As I just got in from a flight, I was in drab and it was late besides. I was VERY self-conscious. Yet, when I went around the corner and looked in the mirror, I saw the things I mentioned above. It evokes a feeling of a screaming mismatch. I feel like me. I was expressing myself as me. Yet I KNOW the image didn't match what I feel. The ugly duckling that stays that way ...
The dissonance isn't gone. It's better in some ways, worse in others. I feel good about the changes I do see, but feel worse about the dissonance.
The chat was wonderful, just wonderful. But also painful.
Lea
Sometimes you dream what you want, other times your mind takes over and a dream can be nothing more then your subconscious working through a problem.
Some times, with practice, yes I said with practice, you can take control of a dream. Even being able to willingly wake yourself up.
Every person in your dreams, whether or not you recognize/remember them is someone you know or have seen before.
Same goes for the location, even if you've only seen it without ever physically being there.
So yes, every actor/actress, every backdrop you have ever seen in a TV show or movie could show up in your dreams.
Not everyone dreams in color, even if they think they do.
Not every dream has sound. (Think about it for minute).
Dreams can last anywhere between a few seconds to 20-30 minutes in length.
Dreams usually only take place shortly before you wake up. Towards the end of the R.E.M cycle.
As for me, I couldn't tell you with any certainty what I look like as most of my dreams tend to take place in the first person.
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You cannot dream an identity you do not have. Anne may be a T-1000 Killer Dinosaur, but it's still Anne. And a man might dream he looks like, or is dressed like, or wishes to be, or has turned into a woman, but cannot dream AS a woman.
Lea
LeaP- Trans women are women, and dream as women. When we have dreams of being male, they are an abomination brought on by being forced to accept a male role for so long.
What does that even mean Lea? So we now have "real transsexuals" in dreams too? Every person, thing or event in anyone's dream is a creation of that person's subconscious.
It means your gender identity doesn't change. Do you think CDs can temporily become actual women while dressed, then revert back to being men? By will?
Lea
We are talking about dreams.
Most of the times I don't know what I am in my dreams. Sometimes I do though.
Sometimes I have nightmares like my facial hair is growing back real thick and things like that.
Yikes! I dreamed last night and I was female trying to accomplish something. Don't know if I dream I'm female often, but I will pay attention to that.
Yes we are.
Lea
I don't really understand that? I think a dream is a mismatch of imagination, fears, memories, worries, basically anything that can be in your head. What does identity have to do with it?
I have dreamt as a woman and man, I am a woman but I have lived decades as a man which has it's impact. I mentioned a while back a very vivid dream that I was pregnant, it was all first person and internalised feelings, if it was based on say something I had seen wouldn't it be third person? It felt so real and natural yet I have never been pregnant so how is that explained?
You said it yourself. Imagination. However vivid the dream, you actually have no idea whatsoever what it feels like to be pregnant.
Lea
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