TG Group Meeting

[DeeNile]

The local GLBT resource center has a monthly meeting for TG people. I have never gone to one before, but I intend to go to my first one tonight. Has anybody ever attended something like this before? I am nervous and not sure what to expect. In my minds eye, I picture everybody is sitting in a circle and dressed to the nines. I am the only one in drab. I have to stand and introduce myself and share how long I have been dressing. Once all the introductions are over, a fashion parade begins. I know this isn't going to happen, but it does make me chuckle. I have been told there is a very diverse gathering of people from one end of the spectrum to the other. Anybody wanna share their experiences?

[pamela7]

i've attended two different groups. One I was totally overdressed for and all the gurls were in dull colours - browns/greys, and in old granny clothing, quite weird. The other group was a mix of bright and sparkly and some more camouflaged-browns. It will depend on your group, worth speaking to someone first if you can to find out the dress code. Apart from that you can discuss CD/TG or motor-sport or whatever, its more companionship with like-dressers.

[MsVal]

Everyone there ... EVERYONE ... had a first time. Now it's your turn.

If it's run well, there will be someone who will show you around, introduce you to others, answer questions, and maybe even sit with you. There may be refreshments, presentations, or other organized (or somewhat organized) activity, like going out to a restaurant or dance club.

Or, it may be a room with too many chairs and people are sitting with their own clique.

I would gladly put the first on on my calendar for each remaining month of the year. I would gladly find something else to do in place of the second one.

Please let us know what you learn.

Best wishes
MsVal

[brandi]

I went to my first meeting here last November. Went in drab because I wasn't comfortable going dressed. I had a blast. I have been going to them every month since. Its the one thing that I look forward to every month. I am starting to get more comfortable each time. Good luck.

[valerieg]

I've attended the local group in St Louis twice, probably the same group Brandi attends. My two forays were 10 years apart.

The first time it was at a hotel near my home. My wife went with me (she wanted to check out the "weirdos" to make sure I was "safe"). I arrived at the hotel expecting to see a sign in the lobby directing me to the meeting. I didn't see one so I had to ask the desk clerk. That was my first time ever speaking to someone else while dressed. We were directed upstairs and off we went. There was a table set up for name tags and two well-dressed women welcoming new arrivals. I look into the ballroom and was amazed at the beauty and grace of all the attendees... and there were so many more than I had expected.

I suddenly felt ugly and inadequate. I walked to the table for a tag and then I saw the sign. This was a high school reunion... my kind were down the hallway, around the corner, and tucked away in the back.

I have to admit that my biggest fear about going to this meeting was that I would be the least attractive attendee to show up. That first impression after looking in the ballroom when I reached the top of the stairs did nothing to alleviate that fear. However, when I found "my" meeting, I discovered that there was a wide range of presentations. I was middle of the road. Some were dressed to the nines, others would barely be identifiable as gender bending in any way. I enjoyed the meetings, both the first one and the second 10 years later. I don't go regularly because I'm really just not a very social person and, as a father of five with three still in the home and uninformed, I really don't have the time or the "space" to really dress up nicely and get out. Besides, I find it expensive to get all done up as I like for just a couple of hours. Also, it just feels like a bigger closet to me. Instead, I've used PinkFest for the last two years as my annual, full-time en-femme getaway. Can't wait until October.

That said, I feel very comfortable being out and about when I do go out. As such, I've occasionally felt bad about NOT attending the local group just because I know there are others who are nervous and need help and encouragement. Whether I'd be of any great help, I don't know; but I do sometimes feel that I should at least be trying to help.

[SharonDenise]

I joined Chi-Chapter last October and have found it a wonderful experience. I hope you will enjoy it as well.

[Sarah Doepner]

I can't speak to what happens in other groups, but for ours anyone is welcome as long as they respect everyone else in the room and promise confidentiality. I've arrived dressed about half the time, used the changing room there to get dressed quite often and arrived and stayed in boy mode plenty of times. It doesn't really matter. We've had representatives from law enforcement there doing a presentation with Q&A, makeup and hair demos, pot luck dinners and gab fests. There are new people attending, mostly crossdressers but occasionally family members or trusted friends as well. We do try to make sure they are comfortable and can join in the conversations if they want or remain a wallflower, sort of, if that works best.

We meet at the local Pride Center, but they are not the sponsor. That means we try to meet once in person, en drab, with the person who wants to attend. This gives us a chance to make sure we are on the same page in expectations and gives them a bit of information so when they walk in they know a little of what to expect. I think the idea of contacting the organizer of the meeting in advance and asking questions about the nature of the meeting, what people wear and what their goals are, is a great idea. If you don't like the answers, don't go.

[JenniferR771]

So true, the first time is nerve-wracking. My first time--I ended up in the wrong room--a meeting of car dealers. Glad I was in drab and carrying a big gym bag with my dresses. I was about to get a cup of coffee when I noticed a very large woman who could not walk well in heels clomping her way down the hallway. I followed and it turned out she was a prison guard in male life. At least she knew the right room. It was a Tri-ess chapter and about 40 percent of the wives attended.

In the last two years I have had a good time attending the Grand Illusions support group in Grand Rapids. It meets at the Network LBGT offices.
http://www.grlgbt.org/

I always change in one of the four bathrooms on site. All are unisex; doors unmarked. If I arrive too early--I just put on my wig and makeup in my car.

http://crossdressersmichigan.com/

[Allison Chaynes]

Has anyone who identifies as "just" a CD found benefit from attending a TG group meeting? I have been thinking of going to one but I'm just not sure if I'll fit in.

[Taylor186]

Has anyone who identifies as "just" a CD found benefit from attending a TG group meeting? I have been thinking of going to one but I'm just not sure if I'll fit in.

It depends on the group. The one I attended in NE Ohio for a couple of years was basically for CDs though we had more than a couple of TSs pass through while still in their CD phase. Wives were welcomed and about half attended any given month. Being a part of that group was one of the most enriching experiences I've ever had as a CD.