Things have been going better than expected with my wife being able to be en femme occassionally in her presence having dinner or watching tv together. Also have occasional conversations on CD related topics e.g. wigs, makeup, etc. I was delighted with this as when I came out to her a few weeks ago it was made clear that while she accepted my CD'ing she wanted it kept out of her presence.
The only real downside was that I found it very lonely keeping to myself while dressed. So being able to spend some time together while dressed as Sandra left me thinking that she was getting more used to it and may fully come around given enough time.
The night before last, I was looking for some feedback on my most recent attempt at makeup (has been a disaster due to inexperience and even more so because my sight without glasses is fairly poor). Anyway she didn't want to comment other than to make it clear that she still does not like to see me as anything other than her husband. She does not want me sometimes as a girlfriend.
My heart sunk and I felt helpless. The thought that, as Sandra, I could not be seen as a friend hit me really bad and felt that a part of me was destined for rejection and lonliness. The feeling was like I felt when as a teenager a girlfriend ended our relationship. I'm surprised at how much it hurts as it was made clear to me at the outset. It's my problem and I have to get over it. I know I will just like the passage of time healed that first breakup as a teen.
Do others feel the lonliness while CD'ing and if so, does it pass?