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Thread: A GG colleague's observation

  1. #26
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonia_cd View Post
    ... what she said as her internal conflict arising from gender stereotypes and conditioning. I don't see it as an invitation to come out to her.
    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    It's odd though, that your friend thinks that talking about feelings, being compassionate, and relating well to women is a "girl" thing to do and she thinks it weird to find these qualities in a male.
    I agree with these thoughts. But I will add, if you want to come out to someone, she sounds like a fine choice. On occasion I have taken opportunities to do so while at other times I would never reveal myself to some.

  2. #27
    Member Valery L's Avatar
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    Receiving that kind of remarks is something uncommon, at least in my experience. If she was intrigued enough to consider necessary to share her thoughts with you and to tell you that it is a positive thing. I think that sharing your secret might be something good. Those kind of opportunities are not frequent, if you feel comfortable and you know the girl well enough, maybe this is a good opportunity to find a good the girl to support your femme side.

  3. #28
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    All my friends are women. It has been noticed over the years that I relate to women. While I was friends with women I didn't date girls that were friends. Some of the girls decoded my interest in fem clothes. Others never got it.

  4. #29
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    It occurs to me that maybe she suspects and she is fishing for information? This could be a good thing, it could show that she is open-minded.

    Is this someone that you feel close to and trust, or is she more acquaintance status.
    Reine

  5. #30
    Senior Member MissTee's Avatar
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    All great comments, and thank you all for the feedback. A little about my hair and nails: I have a well groomed, very "average guy in the workplace" haircut (above the ears and tapered in back) and I do not paint my nails. That said, most know I go to a speciality salon to get my haircut and colored (grey control) and I routinely have spa days and get mani/pedis. Some of the guys rib me about it, and I openly talk about it to anyone who wants to. The look I carry is "well groomed" rather than femme. Likewise, I am not small in stature by any means and the many years spent powerlifting still define me to some extent (think broad shoulders and big arms.) In short, in the uninformed mind I'd probably be the last person (by looks and build) that would be suspected of dressing.

    I met several more times with my GG colleague today and she didn't say anything else and I did not bring it up. Privately, I was very flattered by her comment and will likely relay that to her soon. I won't be doing a reveal, though. I'm certainly not ready for that and not in the workplace for certain.

    I do sense that she was extending an olive branch of sorts. The business is predominantly male with much of that being old school male. That kind of culture can be tough for the ladies to fit into, and a lot will privately share they struggle with gaining respect. In that same environment I thrive even though I freely talk about feelings and how great mani/pedis are. In that sense my GG colleague may view me as sort of a bridge between the worlds. I doubt it's a, "Hey, you must wear dresses when you're not at work," kind of probing. In any event it will be interesting to find out over the next few weeks. I'll be sure to keep you ladies posted.

  6. #31
    Aspiring Member Samantha_Smile's Avatar
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    Sounds like she either suspects something, or she was flirting.

    Either way, she sounds cool.
    Samantha -x-

  7. #32
    Senior Member Sammy777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissTee View Post
    Today during a conversation --completely out of the blue -- a GG colleague of mine comments: "So, I've noticed you and xxx (another colleague) are as close to girls as straight men can get.
    I think a lot here may have glossed over this very important part [in bold above].
    She wasn't just talking about you but about you and another person.
    I would use it as a springboard to further get to know her and talk more, but I would leave the CD'ing out of it.
    Warning: This post may contain up to 63% post consumer recycled Sarcasm ... or Peanuts."
    "Sammy, really next time do try to make your point without being quite so abrasive." -RD

  8. #33
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    Keep Quiet, especially to someone you work with, she may or may not handle it, she may be your friend for a while, then the friendship goes stale and she outs you to the whole office and the Jeannie can never be put back in the bottle. If you need a friend find one away from work.

  9. #34
    Aspiring Member Babbs's Avatar
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    I agree with Sonia as well. I i think some of what we think the real world thinks of us is more of a dream than reality. To most people, even open minded people, we as a group are a bit strange.

  10. #35
    Senior Member MissTee's Avatar
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    We have chatted a few times since my post. She continues to share her feelings, and now I notice when she talks to e she occasionally rest her hand on my hand or my arm. Not in a romantic way, but more like a sisterly touch if that makes sense. Not matter, I have no intent in coming out to someone at work. I fear, as some here have said, that the winds which put me in favor could change to my detriment.

  11. #36
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    You've mentioned it is a mainly male dominated place. I think she sees you as a small comfort zone in a sea of testosterone.
    Agree to just leave well enough alone and not divulge.

    Tina

  12. #37
    Junior Member Morgan Matthews's Avatar
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    I think you can take it slowly. She already mentioned the nail care. Maybe, bring up shaved legs or something else a little girly. If it gets positive feedback, you can continue the reveal. If it seems to reach a place she is uncomfortable with, you can back off. It doesn't have to be an all or nothing journey. One step at a time.

  13. #38
    Junior Member Lisa-N's Avatar
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    I believe that this is a wonderful opportunity to deepen your friendship and continue to expand your softer side. I don't see it as an invitation to come out for all the reasons previously stated by others. If at some point the subject arises then perhaps it might lead to further revelations but for now I would just enjoy the friendship and chance to be who you are inside. Best of luck!

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