Self image

[I Am Paula]

This has been an interesting week. In a good way. I think most trans women (I certainly can't speak for all) suffer an inferiority complex when it comes to their own appearance, however slight. We are just not good enough, not pretty enough, and not feminine enough. I've never had a negative reaction to my appearance, I honestly don't know if I'm being read, and everyone just treats me as a woman. Heck, I use the lady's changing room at the gym. Still, there's that insecurity...did that person just snicker?

This week I've had two "You just made my day, my week, my month, or even my year moments".

I've had the same insurance broker for 18 years. She knows about my transition because I had to send her scans of my F drivers license and name change. I went into her office yesterday, and she was in the reception area. She turned to me and asked "What can I do for you?" I said I was there to see her. Pause..."And your are?" I said I was Paula. Another pause. "OMG, Paula, I never in a million years could have pictured you as such a beautiful woman, I'm...stunned".

Also, this week, my former Sister in Law (Wife of my late brother) to whom I was never close, stumbled upon my facebook page. Her P.M. (paraphrasing cause I'm too lazy to open my FB page)-

Dear Paula, A 'people you may know' message caused me to open your FB page. At first, it being April 1st. I thought it was a most elaborate joke. As I read it, I realized you had made some big changes.
..........................(the usual, it must take so much courage blah, blah)..........................................
It is only because I knew Paul so well that I would ever have recognized you. You make a gorgeous woman! Your grace jumps right out of your photographs. I spent minutes studying each of your photos, wondering how I never noticed. You make a much better looking woman LOL.

I guess sometimes we all need a little reassurance. No question here. Just a feel good post.

[PretzelGirl]

I love real life reactions like this. This is what I call affirming! And they are right you know.

[Jorja]

Glad things are going well for you Paula! In my opinion, the inferiority complex is exactly why many women and especially Transwomen fail. They just can't get it out of their heads that "we are just not good enough, not pretty enough, and not feminine enough" is a bunch of crap made up in their own minds. Go out there and be you. Treat people the way you want to be treated. The rest of it will take care of itself.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

You do look great and i'm glad these moments are happening for you!!!

You worked hard and earned those comments.. It's not just your visual appearance, its your nature that is shining through..

[Bria]

Paula, after those encounters I would imagine that the inferiority complex has been replaced with a superiority complex, at least for a couple of days!

Hugs Bria

[becky77]

We all need lovely comments, it's even more precious when it's genuine.

Good for you Paula

[kimdl93]

Talk about affirmations!

[justmetoo]

Aw, those are both so sweet! Makes me a little misty-eyed. Good for you, Paula!

[Eringirl]

That is so awesome Paila!! It is great to get such positive comments. It really is a boost to self esteem and validation as a woman. I am sure there are more to come.

Erin

[cassiekat]

I'm so happy for you Paula: )

[Leah Lynn]

I would call each incident a priceless gem!

Hugs,

Leah

[Barbara Ella]

It does the heart good to read these moments. So happy for you Paula, treasure them.

Barbara

[Nicole Erin]

Even when someone detects us or already knows, it doesn't mean they are gonna be rude. Sometimes they are surprised how good we can look. It works in our favor.
As time goes on and you get more positive feedback, there comes a day when you just stop questioning yourself and your looks.

[celeste26]

The real issue is that within our society GG's have this same sort of "inferiority complex", they feel they can never be pretty enough, skinny enough etc. So it comes with the territory.

The ones that finally get over this turn out to be feminists.

[Kimberly Kael]

Once you realize how wonderfully affirming it can be to receive a compliment, doesn't it make sense to express them to others more often? I'm still working on that habit.

[EvaMarie]

Even when someone detects us or already knows, it doesn't mean they are gonna be rude. Sometimes they are surprised how good we can look. It works in our favor.
As time goes on and you get more positive feedback, there comes a day when you just stop questioning yourself and your looks.

That day cant come soon enough for me, a lot of the time I feel like Im too hard on myself Yes it does just get better and easier with time though
I guess all one can do is keep building on successes and use that positive experience to draw on strength and confidence when things aren't so good.... My experience so far is the highs get higher and last longer but unfortunately it seems the lows can hit a lot harder and sometimes seemingly out of nowhere

To the OP congrats I love it when I hear of things going right

Once you realize how wonderfully affirming it can be to receive a compliment, doesn't it make sense to express them to others more often? I'm still working on that habit.

Yes I try to do the same with my GF's and it's always well received You cant go wrong there with other women Im finding out I always try to return them when I get them, its an "secret" girl code I think...

[charlenesomeone]

So very happy for you. Two wonderful encounters of many to come.
Hugs

[Rachel Smith]

Always like to hear a feel good story. They make us all feel good.

[cheryl reeves]

i also love a good story.my mom has always told me i look better enfemm then enhomme.

[Rogina B]

Surround your self with people that "get it"...Pass on all others..