I'm retiring and moving to fla in October. I'm concerned on several counts and hoping you can share some thoughts
First I'll be moving away from a very dear friend who I see regularly. That won't be able to see
Second what do I do with all my girly clothes. Moving to a much smaller condo and wife does not know about my dressing
Third I'll go crazy not being able to be ally.
What do u think girls. Ideas.
Thanks in advance. Ally
Looks like fallout from the closet.
I have nothing to add except for the obvious. Either tell her or get used to eliminating this from your day to day life. Either one is entirely a function of your personal situation and how risk averse you are. Good luck.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
Keep your stuff, tell the wife and live happily ever after in Florida!
Really you may consider telling your wife it may make retirement more fun, but only you know what to do in your situation.
Kelley
The minute you think of giving up think of the reason you held on for so long
What did you have in mind as an alternative to telling your wife.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
All of the above that you will probably not attempt for obvious reasons. Alternatives, yes there are some. Pack up your stuff, store it with that local friend, move, find a cheap storage place and when all that is lined up, have your friend ship your stuff to a UPS store and then pick it up and store it. Start now to try to find a potential new friend near to where you will be living in Florida. There are several Florida girls and ladies here, plus there must be many more there who are not on this site. Search out local support groups to see what is there. Some groups even have on site storage for those with problems like yours. If you do not have much, you can consider purging that before the move and then re-constructing your wardrobe later. Where there is a will and a need, there usually can be found a workable, but not perfect, way! Good luck.
An occasional trip to Key West. You don't even have to pass there. People expect to see crossdressers and a lot more in Key West. Could I suggest Fantasy Fest!
Allie said everything I would have said. You may be able to rent a PO box in Fla remotely and ship your stuff there. I think they'll hold 30 days for pickup.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
Any chance you could retire where you are and not move?
Looks like a major purge is in your near future.
Jon
I'm assuming you had a say in this retiring and moving to FL decision and also in the choice of the condo. The time to think about this problem would have been back when these decisions were being made.
At this point you have some tough decisions to make. Telling your wife about your dressing is a possibility and if all goes well you can keep your stuff and keep dressing. If it doesn't go well, anything could happen including a divorce and loss of half your assets.
Sneaking around behind your wife's back usually doesn't end well. Having your stuff in storage and going to the storage place every week or two to dress will get old and there are several ways for her to find out about the storage locker. Or, she might follow you there one day. At retirement age, we sometimes have health problems. What happens if you are hospitalized or home bound and can't get to the place to pay the rent and they send a bill to the house?
Unless you are willing to retire from dressing, I think you should consider telling your wife. Feel her out to get her reaction. Then decide what to do.
I would suggest scoping things out well so you know what your options are.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Do you think purging and starting over, CD free as though it never happened, is actually a choice?Originally Posted by Kelley
Last edited by CarlaWestin; 04-07-2015 at 09:58 PM.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
Only you know what's best for you. Give it some deep true thought and decide what needs to be done. For me telling my wife , her accepting and helping, has been the best thing I could have done.
All the posters have good advice. Maybe tell her that you saw some crossdressers somewhere, and ask her what she thinks of that. Or tell her you heard j Edgar Hoover liked to wear dresses. Get her take on it. Many women will say its ok, but when it comes to her man, forget it. You may have to purge, and limit it to pantyhose or panties.
No reason to stop dressing just because you are relocating.
Pack your stuff in a box and move it.
Why a condo? Houses down there are dirt cheap. 3 bedroom 2 bath ranch styles are going for 80 to 100K. I plan on selling my house near NYC and move down there to retire soon as well. PM me and I can give you more details about where and how I plan to deal with the Cding side of life after the move.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
This sure blows. When I retire I hope to be out and about every other day enjoying myself. Hopefully I will move somewhere fun like San Fran, Arizona, Florida......I hope you don't go insane if you choose not to tell her and pack it all in, I know I can't do it.
I think the Florida Peninsula is a paradise if you can weather the tornado season.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Ally, I'm retired and have moved far away from my friends by circumstance. Yet in a new area, My SO and I can go out and not run into anybody that we know. I would definitely tell your wife about it and try to work that out. If you have you SO's support then an adventures time will be had in paradise.
Part Time Girl
Ask the dear friend to store at least some of your clothes, and make him/her the excuse to visit Ct occasionally?
Good luck Ally
I used to have a short attention spa
I am retired and have a wife who disapproves of my dressing. I have solved the problem by storing all of my femme attire in a cabinet that I built in my workshop, Since my spouse leaves for the weekend about once every two months, I can enjoy the freedom of dressing up in my favorite outfits then.
Posting Permissions
