Could You Have Handled It

[deebra]

The best time to start to transform a male body into a female body is at puberty, 12 or 13. That is when your hormones start shaping your body to become that of a man or woman. At that age if you stop the testorine with blockers and start taking as much estrogen that is safe you're body will definitely grow female. For those that would love to have a nice, curvy female body could you have with stood the pressures and criticism of fellow students, adults and anything else that was alive to have undergone hormone therapy at that age and continued through high school? We all know how cruel teens can be. By the time you were 15 or 16 you would have a nice set of boobs that couldn't be hidden as well as all the other curvy and protruding female body parts. To have suppressed these feelings and waited until graduation and freedom from school to start hormone replacement therapy would have netted you far less results. You would be starting from zero trying to remake an already formed male body. Words such as isolation, shuned, no friends, loneleness, made fun of, etc. come to mine. Would it have been worth it, could you have handled it?

[pamela7]

Even tho i was about as outcast as it could get, no, cos it would have only been worse!

[CONSUELO]

Another related question is -"Would you have had the desire to transition at that age" . Some would, as shown in the recent documentary on transgender children in SF by Paul Theroux, but for many of us at that age, cross dressing was just a casual thing often with a sexual connotation. Only in later life did it strengthen and fill us with the desire to have as feminine a body as possible. However I do remember feeling dismay as the first hair appeared on my chest.

[natalie_cheryl]

If the option was given to me then I would have taken it, but I dont think I would have been able to handle the negative side without changing schools once breast development started. If I couldn't change schools I would not have taken it. At this point in my life I would transition either.

[Jorja]

If I could have, if it wasn't against the law, if I had support from my parents, if the medical knowledge was there, I would have started on T-blockers as soon as possible. In 1966 they didn't even know what t-blockers were. Some of us did the best we could to pave the way for you today. Every chance that came along, I offered up my body to test treatments that you are benefiting from today. I hope you enjoy it.

[Jeri Ann]

Well said Jorja.

Jeri

[Melissa_59]

My thought is that a lot of that depends on where you live. Back when I was a teenager there weren't many tolerant places in the entire world, but a lot has changed since then and if you lived in a more progressive area of the world, it wouldn't be so bad. Heck, it might be downright good - there are places where everyone is less ignorant and more supportive.

But not in the Southern US. It's still a stoning offense, most places down here. You'd get beat up by a gang of guys every day, and their church would think they're justified. And since religious bigotry is fully legal here...

~Melissa

[Stephanie Julianna]

Yes, yes and yes. I would have done it all. That being said, I have to say that if I had knowledge of my future wife, kids and grandkids than the answer would be No, No, and No.

[LookingGlass]

I didn't even know of the concept of that when I was 12, but I wish I had.

[Brandy Mathews]

I wish that I could have done it. I truly feel like I am a female inside, male on the outside. And I think that I would have really been beautiful if I would have started at that age. Would have loved that!
Bree

[Candice Mae]

I developed femininely as a preteen, then lived a confusing live of being a boy in a girls body. Although I'm happy where I am today, there have been some dark days in my past.

[DebbieL]

I absolutely wanted to transition at that age, and when my testes dropped (they were WAY UP - where ovaries would normally be), I was in the bath tub. I immediately tried to shove them back up inside where they belonged, until I was in pain. Later I tried to self-castrate by poaching them (scalding water or almost boiling), strangling them (10-20 rubber bands), and even a hammer and a 2x4 (only ONCE!).

I was so naturally feminine it was impossible to hide it. I had a girl's butt, a tiny waist, a large chest (38, 28, 40), feminine mannerisms, voice, and posture. When my mom died, she sent me some class pictures, report cards, and a "Birth certificate" The certificate was yellow and had "Ballard Boy?" - I found out that they had to do some corrective surgery when I was born. Later, just before my dad died, he told me that the reason my parents tried so hard to ignore my declarations of femininity (verbal, dress, bed clothes,...) was that in those days, the "treatment" was horrible, involving shock, torture, and even lobotomy. Even in the 70s, the treatment was a "chemical straight jacket". Apparently the high suicide related to gender dysphoria was already well known. Of course, back in the 1950s and early 1960s, they called it "Gender Identity Psychosis" because we suffered from psychotic delusions that we were the opposite gender.

If I were 11 years old today, I would have been in my parent's face much more boldly. There is so much more information available, so much more support, legal recognition of the condition, and transition is now encouraged within WPATH guidelines. There are even ways to non-surgically eliminate much of the risk of discovery (see Karin Bishop's books).

When I hit 15 and found out I had a bass voice, I went into self-destruct mode. I turned to drugs and booze, I got into fights I couldn't possibly win (and didn't intend to), I went into blackouts regularly, I used lethal doses in lethal combinations - yet somehow I survived.

I absolutely would have wanted to transition, and I would have done almost ANYTHING to make it happen.

I said almost. I remember finding a "black magic" spell on how to change bodies with someone. It involved almost killing both them and yourself. Another involved killing yourself and sending your soul into a child. Murder of body or spirit as one of my many hard lines.

[Janine cd]

Had I lived in a different time, I would have gladly undergone the procedure and endured any humiliation it entailed. Unfortunately, the 1950's were not a time for so brave a decision.

[Natalie cupcake]

I would do it but then I would miss out on the male part of life. And not having friends or family in your life would be to hard for me.

[JessicaMann]

I have always dreamed of waking up as a girl.... if I had known about options back then????? I probably would have gone for it!!! at this point in my life ... I guess, I must be content dressing and pretending... wishing life was different. maybe, still trying to explore some aspects of my sexuality... and finding comfort knowing I am not alone. thank you all my sisters I've met here and the ones I have yet to meet....

[Brandy Mathews]

Jessica,
I have dreamed the same thing, or seen a beautiful woman in her bikini by the pool and have just thought......can you imagine looking like her!! So lucky. I still think that I would be a lesbian, but who knows if I looked that good, lol.
Hugs,
Bree

[Allisa]

I had a hard enough time trying to figure out what was going on between my legs and why girls were so interesting to me and not because of their clothes. Who would want to be a girl anyway? No baseball, football, climbing trees, fishing all the good stuff that gets you dirty. So no I could not have handled it, it took me 60 yrs to handle my CDing.

[Tracii G]

In the 50's and 60's there wasn't any of this so I never knew anything about it.
With all the knowledge and science there is now its much easier.
Jorja is one of the people that need to be thanked for everything in forwarding the knowledge in this field.

[kimdl93]

Who is to say. If I had the clarity of gender identity and if the resources had existed, then perhaps, but when you start stacking if statements, on top of conjectures, the conclusions are pretty meaningless.

[Alice Torn]

I see it like F. Allisa. Liked sports after age 14, fishing, fixing my cars. First dressed at age 14, though, sneaking into mom's and sister's stuff, felt huge guilt and shame, had huge wars with my parents and siblings, still going on at age 60, stopped until decades later. I was picked on and bullied badly, as i was. To look female would have been far more worse.

[phylis anne]

Like a lot have said in the 50's and 60's there was not much out there openly ,it was always kept in the seedy part of town I did like one comment here
"By the time you were 15 or 16 you would have a nice set of boobs" I kinda laughed aloud on that picturing a boy of that age walking into gym class----- society as a norm has always been cruel to what it does not understand and although has improved by leaps and bounds there are still many dangers for us out there as several even recently have had the misfortune to deal with ,until society as a whole is on board with this there will always be those who act out of blind ignorance
hugs phyils anne

[msniki48]

Janine,

I have often thought and dreamed about Deebra's scenario. still do. but like you I believe we were born one generation too soon... no internet... I didn't find out about TG until 48...I dressed at 12 or so. If I was 12 now, I think I would be persistent and undergo transition. maybe it would stop all the dreams.

hugs

niki

[Kate Simmons]

If the end result was to have a good career as a woman and a loving husband and fine family I could have endured anything. I am exactly who I was meant to be though.

[JessMe]

My family certainly would not have supported any such thing. As a matter of fact, their well-known prejudices against anyone or anything "different", along with the life I've made around this male persona, and the physical attributes that would have me almost instantly "clocked" are the reasons I still haven't pursued transition. So, I guess in all honesty, I'd have to say "No." I would not have been able to handle it given my circumstances then or now. As far as classmates during that time go: I was that weird, chubby kid that never "dressed out" for gym. Partially because I really HATED sports, and still do, but also because there was a decent chance that I was wearing women's underwear. ...I didn't have a lot of friends, per se, but being from a small community, we were all acquaintances. As I mentioned in a previous post, there were several people in my school who were openly gay or lesbian, and I wouldn't say that they were in any different boat than myself, socially speaking. I think my schoolmates would have been less of a concern for me.

[Michala]

No, I'm pretty sure not. I did have boobs (and still do) back then but I always loved sports and was pretty good at them. Schoolmates soon learned not to tease me about them because I've never found anyone I couldn't handle. Never had an inkling to prove that because never really enjoyed getting in a skirmish. Fully enjoy being male and occasionally girlie.