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Thread: Very insecure about my face (feedback needed)

  1. #1
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    Very insecure about my face (feedback needed)

    The face is possibly the most difficult part of your body to pass as female is what I've managed to understand from my experience (which is not that big)
    I got up this morning, there was nobody at home, so first thing I thought was "practice makeup". So I did. I put on some very light makeup (I'm still bad at it), my wig and a couple accessories just to see if my face is barely resembling the XX chromosome based ones .. lol.

    Seeing myself in the mirror afterwards, besides all the wonderful feelings I have deep insecurities and doubts.
    I really need your opinion on this look ladies and feedback is MUCH appreciated!! Don't hesitate to point out the negatives. I gave it a lot of thought about posting it on this forum.
    I picked out the best selfie, knowing I should be actually smiling.

    Anyways, here it goes:
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Curious that we spend more time congratulating people who have succeeded than encouraging people who have not.

  2. #2
    Junior Member Joanncdnj's Avatar
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    Hi.. In my honest opinion, you can easily blend into a setting! You are fortunate to have so much support at a
    young age. Be confident and careful at the same time. Practice and have fun doing it!
    Joann, a Jersey Shore Gal.
    "Be True to Yourself"

  3. #3
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I think you look pretty good Hon. Perhaps thin brows out a bit and use blush, foundation contouring to draw attention to that. Sometimes we are too close to things and don't do ourselves justice.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  4. #4
    Driver karenpayneoregon's Avatar
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    Part of blending in when out is confidence and body language which some don't think about. Believing in yourself as female goes along way. In regards to makeup, if you felt comfortable, go to someplace like Macy's and have one of the sales person help you out with what would work for you rather than simply experimenting as they are professionals and usually know what they are doing as they want repeat business so it's in their best interest to help you. The main thing is getting will to go out and do this as this is not easy if you have never done this before. Any ways I believe you are off to a good start.
    “When it comes to life, we spin our own yarn, and where we end up is really, in fact, where we always intended to be.” ― Julia Glass

  5. #5
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
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    Agree with others. Your smooth complexion is an asset.

  6. #6
    Crossdresser-At-Large BillieAnneJean's Avatar
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    Stop worrying. You look wonderful.

  7. #7
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Your face is fine. I wish I had your face shape. Your eyebrows are a little thick, but that's not a deal-breaker. My personal feeling is that with your youth and the face shape you have, you want to get the hair away from the sides of your face -- you don't need the framing. If you pull it back or get a shorter wig with bangs you'll look more fem. Don't spend money on it yet -- go to the TAAZ site (taaz.com) site and play around in their makeup simulator. They'll let you add wigs and style them, add makeup etc. In terms of makeup, eyeliner, mascara and lipstick are key. Foundation, eyeshadow and contouring are frosting. But in terms of a truly fem look, the key is attitude/confidence. All personal opinion, of course.

  8. #8
    A cute Minnesota girl!! Natalie cupcake's Avatar
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    Better makeup comes with practice. It's hard to believe now but one day when your doing your makeup it will come together like you want. I think you have a good start girl! Keep trying you will get the look you want. Just believe in yourself!!

  9. #9
    GG, SO to Pamela7
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    Wow, I wish I had eyes that were as big , dark and lovely as yours! (I say that as a GG)

    I'm sure you have heard this before, but in the world of makeup when trying to pass, less is more. You did the right thing by going for very light makeup as a first try, because this is the look that most girls want to achieve. If your eyeshadow is too bold or your lipstick too bright you will draw attention, and not necessarily in the way you want. You would be amazed how much time and effort some women put into making it look as if they are not wearing any make up!

    Structurally, the only thing I would change is the eyebrows. There are plenty of youtube tutorials, or you can just find images of ladies' faces and work from those. Clearly you aren't going to go for a very thin arched brow unless you are out in your home life, but if you look for 'low brow' (Demi Moore has these, for example), then I suspect you will find that you can tweak your own to look more feminine while not losing the masculine edge.

    I am really not the person to advise on makeup techniques, as I don't like wearing the stuff, but if you can spend a little time on the internet then you will learn a great deal in a short time.

    I am looking forward to seeing the results of your next attempts, and you are shaping up to having a very pretty face.

  10. #10
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    Looking at your pic you have nothing to worry about you look amazing and would have no problem passing as a female xx

  11. #11
    Transman Andy66's Avatar
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    You look cute, but theres always room for improvement. I think you will like what you see more and more as you practice.

  12. #12
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    Ilianar, I will tell you something that will save you lots of anxiety. Virtually no cross dresser can pass as a woman. Despite the well intended encouragement of others on this "support" forum, what I wrote is reality. We are very different in more than just our faces. If you are anxious about going out in public, dress to blend in, comb your wig, and own it.

    Look at this thread and read the responses: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...t-does-it-mean

    The thread above is about NOT caring what the world thinks. It is very freeing.

    Have fun,

    Jen

  13. #13
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    Thank you all for your kind words, feedback and advice. I know the brows need some work and I'm on top of it!

    Jennie, I've tried multiple applications and sites that "add makeup" to a picture but I'm seriously tired of doing it. The difference between real make up and digital is just very big at least for my face and I find it kind of pointless. Thanks though!

    Welshgirl, I have seen many crossdressers literally cake up their faces and add such a vast array of colours. It looks unreal and sometimes disgusting. Too much of anything on one's appearance is a no-no. Like you said less is more. But "less" has to be done right and that requires hours behind a mirror (I'm all for that! ). Thanks for the tips!

    Jennifer, I'm having a bit of trouble believing the "Virtually no cross dresser can pass as a woman". There are many cases, rare but real, of crossdressers that are (visually) passing as women with an A+. I want to reveal my female side as best I can, so I can experience it and actually decide whether I want to stay with that side biologically as well. This is something that has been troubling me for years. Thanks for your view on this subject though, it helps understand the full picture of our crossdressers scene.
    Curious that we spend more time congratulating people who have succeeded than encouraging people who have not.

  14. #14
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    hey girl i think you are going to do great....i DO agree with what Jenniferathome says too...dress to blend & have fun.., IMO ( for what its worth) invest in a quality wig, and maybe do your best to femme the brows up a touch, bring out your lashes a bit with mascara, and your gunna be golden !! good luck girl xoxo you are blessed with alot of good qualities and you still have your youth....enjoy yourself...xoxo

  15. #15
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    Ilianar,
    First point is gradually thin and shape your brows.
    The photo gives the classic problem with smart phones, too close to the face, making the nose and chin look too big, the hair close to the face and straight then makes your face look too long and thin ! If you have a shorter wig with more volume at the sides, and apply blusher carefully your face will look fuller and appear more feminine.
    Try and get pictures with a longer lens, you'll see a big difference !

  16. #16
    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
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    Hi Ilianar,

    You have really lovely eyes- be more daring with the make up, especially eye liner and you would look much prettier. Obviously shaping your eyebrows would make a huge difference too.

    I am certain that with more practice you will be amazed how much more feminine you can seem.

    Believe me- most of us wish we had your raw assets to work with!
    I used to have a short attention spa

  17. #17
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    Ilianar, You have a lovely face! As another GG, I agree with @Welshgirl - less is more so keep that in mind while making adjustments. For example, I also agree with the advice of lightly thinning and shaping your brows, but thick brows are in so you really don't need to go too far.

    Also, I suggest mascara to play up your lovely eyes. And a nude or light coral lip might work really well with your coloring, although I suggest staying away from anything super bold because of your pretty lighter complexion and dark wig.

    Keep practicing - you're doing great!

  18. #18
    Ragin Cajun meganmartin's Avatar
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    I think many of us are jealous of the face shape, size and young skin.
    You should not have any problems, there has been lots of good suggestions for you here.

    You look good to me sis...rock on!
    Megan Martin

    " some guys play golf, I play girl"

  19. #19
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    I think you look amazing! I have tried makeup twice with pretty poor results - need a lot more practice! I applaud you for posting a photo - maybe I'll get up enough nerve to do the same!

    - Jane
    Come up and see me, make me smile - Or do what you want, run on wild...

  20. #20
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    you should not worry how you look,ive known gg's who looked male..

  21. #21
    Senior Member michelleddg's Avatar
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    Hi Ilianar, holy moly are you kidding me? You've got it all to be drop dead gorgeous! Really, really, pretty. If you have the resources, the way to prove this to yourself is to get a professional makeover. Don't know about the specifics in Greece, but guessing you can sort something out at a makeup counter at the mall or check the internet for makeup artists in your area. You will get to see your ultimate potential which will alleviate all doubts about your beauty, you will pick up loads of great tips and tricks specific to you, you will have a blast, and you will look gorgeous for a day.

    If that's not an alternative, something you might want to play with is the old glue stick trick for your eyebrows. You can block them out completely or, something I like, take out the bottom half or so and leave a thin, feminine arch. Takes practice, but fun and very effective.

    Tons of good videos out there, here's one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7Q3MbTV8BY

    Good luck, have fun! Hugs, Michelle

  22. #22
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ilianar17 View Post
    Jennifer, I'm having a bit of trouble believing the "Virtually no cross dresser can pass as a woman". There are many cases, rare but real, of crossdressers that are (visually) passing as women with an A+. I want to reveal my female side as best I can, so I can experience it and actually decide whether I want to stay with that side biologically as well. This is something that has been troubling me for years. Thanks for your view on this subject though, it helps understand the full picture of our crossdressers scene.
    This thought of yours, that if you just do something different, or this way or that way, and then you will appear as visually passing as a woman, because some men can, it will haunt you. I believe in trial and error to achieve the best look that we can, but no matter how good I have gotten at it over the years, Jennifer is right. Honestly, I think that many of us can take some great pictures, but a picture is not a snapshot of reality. Photographs are easily manipulated, (which btw, is because in any given photo session I generally take about 100 shots, and I pick about 2 or 3 I think look okay in, oh and I have been working on this for about 30 years, with the last 10 focusing specifically on my public appearance and photos) real life, not so much. My clothing has gotten better, my makeup has gotten better, my wigs have gotten better and really I think the best I do in the real world is being able to pass the glance test.

    If you don't know, the glance test would be when someone looks at you for about a half second as they are just looking around the world. Face to face, maybe the best I get is about 25% of the people questioning if maybe I might be a woman. But more than likely the vast majority of people know I am a guy, or think maybe I am a guy who is in the process of transitioning. I would suppose that most of the folks you see passing with an A+ are probably not just casual cross dressers. They are more than likely folks who have begun the process of transitioning and have had some sort of medical assistance like hormones or surgeries.

    But really, none of this matters. You say you want to "experience it." From my experience you can do that without passing with an A+. Again, I think I can do pretty well in a photo but in real life the vast majority of people know that I am a guy, but they treat me as how I am presenting. They don't look at me, and say, oh well I won't treat you like a woman, because I know you are just a dude in a dress. 99.999% of people I have ever interacted with have treated me with dignity and respect.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nadine Spirit View Post
    ...They don't look at me, and say, oh well I won't treat you like a woman, because I know you are just a dude in a dress. 99.999% of people I have ever interacted with have treated me with dignity and respect.
    I'll second that!

  24. #24
    Gold Member DonnaT's Avatar
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    Shape the eyebrows to remove the boxy look.

    Use foundation makeup of two different colors to contour the face. Especially the nose. Search youtube for - makeup to make your nose look smaller-.
    DonnaT

  25. #25
    Diamond Member Persephone's Avatar
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    You look terrific! Beautiful facial shape and bone structure, terrific eyes!

    I think your eyebrows look fine. Most young women have fairly bold eyebrows these days. Take a look at photos of young movie stars.

    There are four things I would suggest you work on -- Most important, SMILE! A relaxed woman's smile will overcome nearly anything. Second, your hair might need a bit of work, but, then again, I'm not sure what young women in your part of the world are doing with their hair these days. Third, from a photo it is impossible to tell your posture and how you sit and move. I suspect they are good, but that is something that we all need to practice until it becomes perfectly natural. And Fourth, believe in yourself. Ultimately, confidence is what makes all the difference.

    I believe it is lack of confidence that makes many of those who say "You can never pass" into failures. Rather than work on their appearance and their passing skills they take the easy road, throw up their hands and say it is impossible. That way they don't have to be responsible for their own failures, they are just victims. And they want you to think that way too because if you do pass then you only highlight their failure.

    You look lovely. You have the gifts that can enable you to enjoy this crazy life. Now go for the confidence and the smile!

    Hugs,
    Persephone.
    "If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.

    "If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)

    -.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).

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