One scary incident

[Stephanie A]

About a year ago, when my wife was gone for a couple of days, I had gotten dressed up with blouse and pencil skirt with black wig and 3 inch pumps and went out driving around in the evening. It was so liberating going around ub the car. It was Fall here in Minnesota, and warm for us. I got out in some parks to walk around, but did not have any courage to go in any stores. However I did a foolish thing, I went over to an adult book store, and thought well want walk in and see if any lingerie that I could check out. I went into the parking lot, and got out. I started to walk to the door, but stopped as I heard a man talking to me from the other side of the parking lot. He was walking toward me. I decided to abort my little shopping trip as he as grinning at me and looked menacing. After I got into the car he came up and wanted to talk to me, I panicked and drove a way. I am a big chicken. He was friendly, but what a foolish place for me to be, even though I was dressed like a middle age woman.
Has any one else had a close call like that?
Stephanie

[melanie206]

I have not. Consider it a learning experience. Many men ( and CDs ) who go to "Adult Book Stores" expect to do more than browse.

[Stephanie A]

Yes, since then I have realized that and it is scary, as I have this submissive side that would be vulnerable. That is why coming here is so good to get some support. Thanks.

[BillieAnneJean]

I have been approached on the street and asked for sex.
I have been approached in a bar and asked to be bound hand and foot.
I have had a hand go up my thigh.
I routinely have men ask me for sexual favors.
It happens about half of the times I am out enfemme alone.
It almost never happens when I am out with our Group.
You handled it well considering that your first choice was in error.
I am VERY vigilant and over the course of my CDing which is entirely OUT enfemme, I have not become complacent. I have become increasingly cautious and vigilant. Men are predators, it is programmed in and also genetic. It has it's purposes. But CDing has opened my eyes to the world women live in.
So what happened to you was a lucky break.
Have you ever seen women hanging around a park alone in the evening? Those that do may very well be either attempting to earn a living or arresting those doing business with the previous.
Until you can develop a safer judgment ability you may want to limit your CDing travels to places that real women would frequent and at times they would frequent them. Women do what they do because they have learned how to survive. You will have a better chance if you do the same.

[kimdl93]

Nothing at all. Of course, you're right. The adult book store is one place where you're more likely to be approached or given unwanted attention.

[Stephanie47]

No, I haven't. When I was quite younger and rather a nice and handsome guy I was approached several time in the NYC subway of all places by commuting men. Once the person made a play for me even though my pregnant wife was sharing one of the poles in the subway car. She threw the guy daggers. I had not even seen his play. If someone is interested in meeting someone, then they'll make a play for the person. Men and women; men and men; women and women all go to places they have had success in meeting someone who has a similar mindset.

Stay away from adult entertainment venues and bookstore if you do not want to get hit upon. Stay out of parks at night. Stay off streets known for hookers. Use common sense. I've always approached life with the view of risk vs reward.

At age sixty maybe you can find a support group of "mature" ladies and enjoy their company at a restaurant. Stay safe, not sorry!

[Kristy 56]

Good advice from Billie Jean. Also many parks are considered closed at night,and you could run into trouble from the police,or worse yet sexual predators . You should be taking the same precautions that a GG would whether night or day.

[Tracii G]

Why would you think going to an adult bookstore after dark was a good idea?
Always survey your surroundings and look to see if there are any threats in the area.
Learn to know how to do a threat assessment no matter where you are.
Look for things that look "off or out of place".Feelings usually are worth listening to,if something just feels wrong it usually is so trust your instincts.

[Sissy_Michelle]

Stephanie,

Yes last week. I had just purchased a t-shirt bra. I had never worn any padded bras and wasn't that aware how much it would change my shape. No I don't wear breast forms yet... However, when I dressed I made sure that due to the pattern of my shirt you could not make out what I was wearing underneath. I felt safe because where in the building I working that day not many people have access. Although someone did enter the room and he came over to say hello to be social I guess except he put his hand on my shoulder, then proceeded to run his thumb down my bra strap stopping at my band. Not to draw too much attention I didn't do or say anything, just kept eye contact, smile and listen to what he was saying. Then he leaves to do what he I guess had came in here to do. I still had three more hours of time so I just shrugged it off. About an hour before lunch he returns, walks over like he had before saying hello and asking if I could help him with one of the computers in the test lab. So I follow him over to the computers where he pulls a chair over, I take the offered seat, then he sits down beside me and we log on and I begin helping him with what he needed. During the help he put his hand directly over the clasp in the center of my back while leaning over and pointing with his other hand. I am sure he felt me tense up, because when I did, he slid his thumb across my bra band and back to the keyboard. Although I could tell that he knew what I was wearing. I could feel the sweat roll down my back and under arms. I was quite nervous. And I am sure that he could tell by my voice and posture. What seemed like an eternity he placed his hand on my thigh and told me to relax "I won't tell anyone, I shouldn't have put my hand on you anyway, you didn't shy away so I thought you didn't mind" I told him that I didn't shy away because I am used to working in close proximity with other men / women and didn't want to give the impression that I didn't like to be touched. Between his smile and comfortable attitude I was reassured that he wouldn't tell. We continued to work through lunch with him occasionally putting his hand on my thigh instead of my back...

When I finally left work I was paranoid, scared, and nervous. The weekend helped, and now that I am back at work, some of the fears are coming back. Except for the note left on my desk this morning from him saying that he was sorry for being so touchy last week and that if I was free he could use my help again in the test lab.

@--}----
Michelle

[AliciaWeb]

I was touched by a man on the tube one morning. The tube was crowded and we were both holding onto a bar above our heads. I had a brief case in my other hand and his free hand slid down to grope me. I was so surprised and embarrassed I froze for a moment then tried to turn round. He pushed his leg into mine to prevent me and this stopped me using my brief case in defence. Eventually the tube reached his stop and he smiled and walked away.

[Alice Torn]

A soft getting hit on.

[Stephanie A]

Thanks so much, it means alot to have you here help me out. I promise I will be more careful and find some other girls to befriend and hang out with. Thanks all!

[Krisi]

When we go out in public as a woman, we have to remember to act like a woman, not a man. Women don't walk alone at night in parks or deserted shopping centers. They don't walk around their neighborhoods in hooker outfits. They don't even drive alone after the stores close unless they are going to or coming home from work. Why? Because of the danger that they will be robbed or raped.

The next time you go out, ask yourself if a woman would go there and how would she be dressed?

[Sweetalex]

I think lesson learned. You have to make a mistake once... Right?

[Rhonda Jean]

I have been approached on the street and asked for sex.
I have been approached in a bar and asked to be bound hand and foot.
I have had a hand go up my thigh.
I routinely have men ask me for sexual favors.
It happens about half of the times I am out enfemme alone.
It almost never happens when I am out with our Group.
You handled it well considering that your first choice was in error.
I am VERY vigilant and over the course of my CDing which is entirely OUT enfemme, I have not become complacent. I have become increasingly cautious and vigilant. Men are predators, it is programmed in and also genetic. It has it's purposes. But CDing has opened my eyes to the world women live in.
So what happened to you was a lucky break.
Have you ever seen women hanging around a park alone in the evening? Those that do may very well be either attempting to earn a living or arresting those doing business with the previous.
Until you can develop a safer judgment ability you may want to limit your CDing travels to places that real women would frequent and at times they would frequent them. Women do what they do because they have learned how to survive. You will have a better chance if you do the same.

Billie! What the hell! Ever think you might need to re-think the places you go? You Michigan girls.... umm umm. (Shaking head)

Only one scary situation for me that I thought was actually dangerous.

[Sara Jessica]

I was thinking the same thing Rhonda!

I must be doing something wrong (or is that right?) because in over 25 years of going out & about, I can't even count on one hand where I've had anything even remotely that negative happen to me.

The OP tale is one that is repeated all too often. Somehow driving around alone at night, taking walks after dark or frequenting places no woman would go alone is part of the Manifest Destiny that many here feel and experience in their own way which they think is part of the natural order of things. If it were 1985, I'd get it (but still wouldn't endorse it) based on a lack of information and resources. But these days, especially with a site such as this, there is really no excuse.

[Jenniferathome]

I have been approached on the street and asked for sex.
I have been approached in a bar and asked to be bound hand and foot.
I have had a hand go up my thigh.
I routinely have men ask me for sexual favors.
It happens about half of the times I am out enfemme alone.
....

Really? 50%? I have never had a man touch me. Ever. I have never had a man ask for anything from me, ever. The worst I have received is a compliment on my legs, followed by a hello. I don't think I have even ever seen a lear in my direction. OK, I don't get out much, but never is my current record.

[Suzie Petersen]

He was friendly, but what a foolish place for me to be, even though I was dressed like a middle age woman.

Yes, that was not smart! Glad you see it yourself Stephanie.

Thanks for telling the story. Even though you are getting some flag for it, it might help keep someone else safe some other time.
As Sara said, we hear stories like this all the time. Not always with someone actually making contact, but all too often we hear the "I just wanted to go somewhere where nobody could see me, so I went down this dark alley at 3am and walked around in my 5 inch heels and my leather miniskirt!".

- Suzie

[DanaR]

Anyone interested might read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. As mentioned previously, if you don't want to be a victim, be aware of you surroundings and be careful.

[Carmen]

[QUOTE=BillieAnneJean;3734399]
I am VERY vigilant and over the course of my CDing which is entirely OUT enfemme, I have not become complacent. I have become increasingly cautious and vigilant...QUOTE]

Well stated Billie. This when you need to stand tall and not look like prey. Of course going out to such places as an adult store is a mistake for any lone woman.
Looking in a mans direction, making eye contact with him can be interpreted that perhaps you are interested in him.
Most women in passing will make a quick eye contact, exchange a quick smile and continue on...nothing more. Anything more than that can become an indicator that he interests you.

When out in the real world, I'm mostly oblivious to everyone out there. This tactic sends a sublime message to men that you are not readily approachable.
I do this whenever I'm out en femme. You have to own the moment.

In male mode (en drabbe), I know which woman I can say hello to and engage in small talk.
I also know which ones are not approachable simply by the way they carry themselves.
Some advice from a life long CD.

[Patrica Gil]

One thing that has been learned by me is that if your wearing a dress, heels, and hose to look pretty, and you do a decent job, then you'd better deal with what comes. Don't go to places any normal woman wouldn't. Should anyone have a problem with a woman's world then don't put on the heels. That's a woman's world they deal with it all day, with no time off. Be careful out there, and have fun.

[cheryl reeves]

im very touchy about being touched by a male,if a man touched me inappropiatly he would get his ass in a sling. the male co worker who touched you like that is in trouble of being sued and fired. sorry in femme mode im worse then in male mode when dealing with aholes. most bullies never realized it was cheryl who beat their ass and not terry,for terry is a softie and cheryl the hardcore one,guess i got that from my tomboy sister. ive had guys who took me out but they never touched me,if they would have there would have been a stabbing. im always very aware of my surroundings but am mean enough when challenged.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Even in male mode, I would not go an adult bookstore at night. Not that I go to an adult book store for any reason. An additional suggestion for a place to avoid in girl mode- 1. Men's Bathroom at a truck stop/rest area, especially at night. For those who would consider doing such a thing. Actually just avoid that in male mode as well. 2. Local 24 hour convenience store after midnight which sells mostly alcohol, tobacco, lottery tickets, and has loads of people loitering around just because the bar's have closed and the night is still young. Actually just as well to avoid that in male mode as well.

[Dana44]

Oh hooty rooty, Once when I was married, her friend was over and they wanted to go into an adult bookstore and to their theater and watch the porn movies. Would I take them. Well went there and did that. sat on the top row in the back. Many men were busy getting themselves off, yet several started to look up at the two women with me. I said. Time to leave. We were pursued out of there. I stood between the men and the women looking like I meant business and got them out of there. It is definitely not safe for a girl to go to an adult bookstore alone and not safe with a male unless you know he can protect you and heck he would say we will not do that in the evening.

[docrobbysherry]

I can varify what others have said here. How u dress/look is very important!

I assumed since I'm over 70 and look pretty homely dressed, I wouldn't be hit on. WRONG!

If u look/dress like this, you're going to get hit on no matter how old or ugly u think u look!

P1020489 (640x638).jpg