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Thread: In the women's restroom

  1. #51
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    So far I've largely tried to avoid this issue. I'm a crossdresser, and while I try to pass, I know I still have plenty of 'tells' that would give me away to anyone who seriously looks at me and tries to guess if their impression is correct or not.

    Even at the gay club that I usually go out to when en-femme, where I know both males and females use both bathrooms almost interchangably, I tend to avoid going into either one unless I really need the facility badly. They have plenty of mirrors in the club if I need to check or fix my lipstick, and if I need to do more than that in terms of makeup, I can just as easily go home and come back later, since I live not very far from that club.

    When I have used the ladies room, I go in, use a stall, sit, and leave soon after I finish my business, after briefly washing my hands. I don't generally make eye contact or stare at or talk to anyone else.

    I suppose if I was in a public restroom in a vanilla establishment and a GG asked me if I was a male, I would reply, "Not at the moment," and then try to leave. If she pursued the point I would say, "If you had not stopped me with that question, I would have already left without bothering anyone, so what, precisely, is your problem? If you had asked that question and been wrong, and the lady you asked had been born a girl, what would you have done? And would you still be upset by her behaving exactly as I did while in here? I have done nothing wrong, and would have caused far more of a commotion if I went into the other bathroom looking like this."

  2. #52
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Do you really want to get into a discussion with a strange woman in the women's restroom? What good can come of that?

    Say "No." and leave.

  3. #53
    Senior Member rachael.davis's Avatar
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    Libra ran an ad based on a (polite) ladie's room confrontation
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmKTnKFzKlU

  4. #54
    Silver Member Meghan4now's Avatar
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    Just say "Ewww" and crinkle your nose, then leave. She'll think your a real girl AND a fellow biggot and feel stupid all at the same time. Win/Win!
    Put on a Happy Face.

  5. #55
    Junior Member antonyio's Avatar
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    this is interesting as new to coming out in public I wondered which room to use,so cant say I have been asked ,but probably would go shy and say I am transitioning

  6. #56
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    to Jenniferathome

    I think if the CDer would have waited his turn, the "furious 5 GG's" would have already been done and gone!

  7. #57
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Not only have I never been questioned, I have been asked to accompany, had women crawl UNDER the partition to check on me when I was so drunk I could not stand nor walk, been asked what cologne I had on, been asked to "guard the door" on a stall that wouldn't latch and about a dozen more conversations.

    My answer would be (if I had to answer at all) "no" and maybe add "Why?" depending on the inquirer

    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    Do you really want to get into a discussion with a strange woman in the women's restroom? What good can come of that?

    Say "No." and leave.
    I do all the time. That's what happens in women's rooms. They chat. Seems that just walking out in a huff would bring up a red flag.
    Last edited by Lorileah; 04-23-2015 at 06:05 PM.
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  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by char GG View Post
    ...

    I think if the CDer would have waited his turn, the "furious 5 GG's" would have already been done and gone!
    And there endith the lesson!

  9. #59
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    To those of us who might have the inclination to be reactive in this situation, it is probably helpful to remember that for that moment in time, you are representing all of us. In that sense, it isn't a good thing to leave a bad impression...

    DeeAnn

  10. #60
    Work In Progress LucyNewport's Avatar
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    I haven't been pinned down in the loo like that - yet. I guess I'd just excuse myself and then bounce. I'm nonconfrontational by nature. The last thing I want is an ugly scene. I've found ggs in the bathroom to be generally accepting and/or disinterested in my presence. I totally agree that you need to abide by the social norms in that space though. Line cutting is just dumb.

  11. #61
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I think that most women would abstain from such a question, some because they just don't converse much with strangers in a bathroom, others perhaps because they just don't want to know the answer.

    All of the times I've exchanged words with a woman in a restroom it's been "Hi, hello, excuse me" or something like that, never a direct question.
    As others have said, I just do my business, wash my hands and leave.

  12. #62
    T-Girl and here to stay!! Rosaliy Lynne's Avatar
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    Tough question. So far I haven't had that happen. I use the facility for its intended purpose; sometimes having to assist my sister as she has serious mobility issues; wash up and go about my business. A smile and a secure attitude has allowed me to engage in brief comments/discussion with other women, particularly if we are waiting in line.

    If asked I would probably answer in all honesty that I am a transgender woman. If she objects to me being there, there is only one correct course to take - apologize for causing her concern and leave to use another restroom elsewhere.

    Legally, you do not have any particular right to use any PUBLIC restroom facility. Just as in patronizing a retail store open to the public. Generally if you behave properly and do not make trouble - most people won't notice or even care. Absent any law to the contrary, IF you take the other course and demand acceptance of your right to be there - you run afoul of the catch-all law - Disturbing the peace - for which you can be ejected and/or arrested. Much better and easier to apologize, even though you are not in the wrong, and move on.
    Rosaliy Lynne
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    http://rosaliylynne.com/

  13. #63
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    At around seven feet tall in high heels, and a few inches of hair, my size alone will give off red flags, and get a ton of looks. I would look for a locking restroom or washroom first. And, only if i knew a regular ladies room was empty, would i use it. Going into a mens room would be equally stressful, or more so. I am closeted 99.9%, only dress up several times a month now, for a number of reasons.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  14. #64
    Rachel1225 Rachel1225's Avatar
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    What's keystone? Besides a type of beer !

  15. #65
    Silver Member Meghan4now's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachel1225 View Post
    What's keystone? Besides a type of beer !
    It's a big CD conference out East. There are a number of conferences and vacations around the country. Check it out!

    The beer was never that good. Kind of like a Hamms or Milwaukee ' s Best.
    Put on a Happy Face.

  16. #66
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    I try to find a good answer on this thread. When I'm out with my SO I'm 90 percent passable. I have gone in the women's room in a restaurant. Strange is that men's room has many more sinks and wash basins than the ladies room. More stalls also. So I try to do my business. Always sit. Then come out and wash. Most of the time there is a line at the wash station. Go figure. I was in a restaurant and heading towards it when two kids and their parents headed for the ladies room. I turned and headed out the door and went somewhere else. I think if you are quiet and go about your business, then things will be alright. Also steer away from trouble. When I'm feminine and out I would never go to the mens room. Far more dangerous. So what is the answer?
    Part Time Girl

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