I am wanting to wear womens underwear but my wife of nine years is not happy with my choice to wear womens underwear what should I do about it and how do I get her to let me wear womens underwear katieann1
I am wanting to wear womens underwear but my wife of nine years is not happy with my choice to wear womens underwear what should I do about it and how do I get her to let me wear womens underwear katieann1
I'm in same situation, would be nice for some advice
Well all I can offer is my experience , it took 5yrs of talking patience and control , to get where I am now with my wife , allowed to wear panties almost whenever I want , but the road to getting here was a long one it will depend on your relationship with your SO and how she regards your CDing , there will be better girls along soon who can give you advice
Andrea
You also need to respect your wife's wishes. If she has a problem with it, then perhaps you should keep your CDing limited to when you are only by your self.
I wore them without asking and when she would not notice unless we cuddled. Then she would make me take them off. Sometimes I would be wearing them after my shower and getting ready for the day and she would wake up early and see me, but not say anything.
Finally she gave up and threw away any with lace, making the compromise that I could wear them if they didn't look too girly. She's completely used to it now and doesn't say anything.
I'm sure that's not how to do it right, but that's how it worked for me. There are other things she would not accept and it's been a work in progress, but I do respect her not wanting me to carry things too far. After all, I wouldn't want her to start wearing men's clothes.
I'm thinking more like a few have stated take any type of dressing slowly. The women have been very methodical and slowly easing into the male attire field such as pants on Fridays and such. If we would go slowly and a few companies start making male panties and we start wearing men's hoseiery we might all be merged into one type of clothing that both men and women wear and is accepted. On the panty thing you might want to do what wife is asking you to do and not wear them. If you have a dress up time I do know there are some male undies out there that are nylon and not much different than the ladies maybe you can start with a few pairs of those. Then maybe gradually mix them with the ladies type. Just don't get into a push and shove type of marriage over panties. Gradually introduce them into the daily dress.
You don't want permission, you want her to not be upset by you doing it. As a grown adult you are free to wear whatever you want to wear. But the bigger concern is that it is upsetting to her that you want to do it.
So, how to resolve the concern?? Talk to her about it. Through discussions you could probably come to some sort of understanding.
And oh, btw, do you dictate to her what she can and cannot wear? Does she even consult you with what she wants to wear? Probably not. So you are free to wear whatever you want to wear, but if you want it to go over smoothly in the relationship, then talk first, and act second.
I would eventually like to wear some dresses or slacks and a blouse but I am not sure my wife will like it so I try to do it when I am home alone and the kids are in daycare
If you hunt around you will find some men's briefs, that are essentially plain bikinis. Get a couple in different colours. once she has seen you in those, pick up a couple of pairs of Jockey Modern Micro bikinis, pick some colours that aren't too bright, dark blue, black, white. Good chance she won't be able to tell the difference.
Best way is to talk to her about it.
Last edited by Katey888; 04-28-2015 at 12:38 PM. Reason: Comments referring to deleted posts removed
"Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO
Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.
The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.
Be naked lover boy with her versus pantied lover, because that is asking a lot of her, and maybe start doing your own laundry.
I would venture to say that would have to be between you and her.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
I guess I am really wanting to wear a bra so bad I use Ber bra's
In the very beginning I asked my wife if I could wear one of her bras. She was fine with that, for once or twice. But when it went beyond that she asked me to get my own. Bra's can quite easily get stretched out or worn funny and the vast majority of women are kind of particular about their bras considering they choose to wear them daily. So... it sounds as if you need to go buy your own!
After i told my wife that i am a crossdresser and seeing a therapist i started wearing panties daily, then started wearing nighties, after some time i started wearing nylons, it took several years and now i am wearing a bra almost daily. I have womens jeans, tops and a skirt to wear. All this took time for my SO to accept but i can do more as time goes on.
Unfortunately there is no script for all of this (I sure wish there was!).
Obviously your relationship with your wife is the key. I can only speak for myself, but once I told my wife and she was accepting, I made sure I gave back. I became more loving, more attentive, more open. Every morning when I get to work I send her a text telling her how much I love her. I never say it the same way twice. Just today she OK'd my using one of our dresser drawers for my lingerie and I wear panties daily. She knows it makes me happy and she has gained a much better husband. Keep looking for a way to let her know what she means to you and how crossdressing is not something we chose, it's who we are.
Hope that helps.
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Make your wife wear men's underwear for a while, she will understand after that.
Kelley
The minute you think of giving up think of the reason you held on for so long
It is not unusual for me to put on panty's, pantyhose, camisole under my male clothes. They aren't women's underwear, they're my underwear. As a salesgirl told me, you raised you children, took care of your responsibilities and, now it is time to do yourself. She gave me a great discount for the heels I was buying.
When I first told my wife about the dressing, she was pretty good about it, she would buy me anything but for some reason she wouldn't buy me anything pink. This lasted a few years and then one day she came home with a pink panty and bra set. I don't know how they think but I believe a lot of it has to do with control. Give it time now after almost thirty years of marriage she doesn't care anymore what I do. We went on vacation south, I wore panties and pantyhose on the plane ride. When we got to the resort and I took off my pants off she didn't react surprised at all and only asked me if I was uncomfortable wearing control top pantyhose on the plane. Give it time but make sure the topic doesn't go under the table.
You have a choice--panties or a wife.
Jon
How I did it was I started wearing men's bikini underwear that looked like women's underwear. Then I eventually worked into womens briefs. It took a little convincing on my part to get my wife to accept it. I just kept telling her it was just underwear.
Originally Posted by janicecd
Or get a new wife!
I spend a lot of time in the closet, because that's where my clothes are.
and you might read the sticky above about getting acceptance
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Hi Katieann,
I believe Nadine hit the nail on the head . . . communication is key. This is not just you asking to wear women's undies but getting your wife to understand why it is important to you and coming to a compromise. I am a big believer that relationships are not a "one way . . . my way" affair in either direction (CDer or SO). You have the right to wear what you want just as your wife has the right to wear what she wants, the salient point is what can each of you live with and live without. If I read your post, it is important for your to wear undies so unless you are totally fine not doing so, you need to take some control of your dressing. Perhaps you could agree (together) that you will do so around the house while dressed "en boy" but she does not have to see them.
Good luck.
Hugs
Isha
Yes I wear panties to work around the house and nobody knows!
We can talk about "rights" and we can say that "she wears what she wants so I can too". However, this isn't about "Rights". You, We, are crossing gender lines and THAT can be disturbing to our spouses. Proving that we are "right" probably won't change her mind. It probably won't make your marriage better. What we would like is for our spouses to not only be accepting but to actually embrace our desire to wear women's clothes. That can take time and understanding. In my case, she allows me to wear panties and even pantyhose when it is cold. She hasn't said anything about the women's outdoor/hiking style pants that I have been wearing. I would like her to accept me wearing a bra (some sports bras don't project) but it is about accepting or tolerating. Right now our "DADT" seems to be working. I hope that you can at least wear your underwear without wearing out your relationship.
Good luck.
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