It’s been awhile since I’ve posted anything – been a busy month – but I wanted to relate this experience. It’s long but I think instructive.
I’ve had to make several trips to DC, one on business, one not. On one flight home last week I decided it was time to fly pretty again. Now that I have TSA pre-check and some perks with Delta, I thought things would be OK, but I still gave myself an extra 30 minutes.. At least I don’t have to deal with the body scanner. So I’m in the pre-check line and come up to the TSA desk. The agent – a young guy, perhaps a trainee—looks at my passport, then looks at me.
“This doesn’t look like you.” So I thought I’d be humorous and replied “Yes, that’s me. My hair was shorter then.” (Probably a mistake.) “I don’t know about this.” There is a line behind me, so I say “Look, I’m transgendered. Would you like me to remove my wig?” (I’m sure the people behind me heard this.) “I have to get my super.” Great, I’m probably holding people up. I turn to the lady behind me and say ”Gee, I’m sorry about this.” “Oh, don’t worry about that.” So the agent comes back with his super. Looks at my passport, at me, then asks “Do you have any ID of yourself like this?” “No, I’m sorry, I don’t.” He looks at me again. “I’m checking your nose and chin and other facial features. OK, you can go.” As I go through the X-ray part I turn to the lady behind me and say “I guess I should take that as a compliment.” With a very nice smile she said “Yes, you should!”
Looking back on this, several things occur to me. The first was that TSA agents – at least the experienced ones – are aware of us and do have some training in this regard. The fact that the super looked at facial features that might indicate gender (my Adam’s apple is not obvious) indicated that. The second thing was the need for two ID’s. I have no intention of transitioning or changing my legal name. So should I try to get an ID with me en femme but with my legal name? As far as airport security goes, non-legal names are a no-no. Will this stop me from flying in my comfy clothes? Not unless TSA is getting more uptight about this!
The rest of the flight was just what I expected, other than a too-frequent need to use the ladies’ room. (Nerves or too much coffee?) I had nice conversations with the gentlemen sitting next to me on both flights. The last one said “Ma’am, I really did enjoy talking with you.
Well, not quite done yet. I get back to the house .. and promptly had a (excuse the phrase) blonde moment. I forgot the code to turn off the security alarm! (Duh-h-h). I call up Sue and she gives it to me – but I misunderstood and entered the wrong code and everything goes off! I finally get it right and the alarm shuts down. Whew. So I go upstairs and get out my warm DC clothes and put on a sleeveless top and capris (still with wig and makeup). Then I hear voices outside, and there’s a cop car out front. Oh s__t, they must have responded to the alarm. So I go to the door and there is a male and female officer, so I ask “Can I help you?” “We’re responding to a security alarm alert. Do you have any ID?” I flash back to this AM at the airport and stutter “I’m sorry, I don’t”. “Do you live here?” “Yes.” “What kind of car is in the garage?” “A red BMW.” They look at me and the guy says “OK.”. But five minutes later the car is still out front. So I call out to them “I do have an ID. Do you want to see it?” “Please.” So here I am, in cute top and capris, and I go out to the car with my driver’s license. (Meanwhile, my neighbor Frank – who may or may not know about me – is mowing his lawn…) The female officer is outside, the male officer is inside with his computer. Yes, the names match. But then he says “There is something I don’t understand.” (Uh-oh, here it comes.) “We have full information about your wife in the computer, but only your name and address shows up in it. I don’t know about this.” Then: “Did you ever have a security clearance?” Oh. “Several years ago I worked for the feds for several years and did have a minimum security clearance.” He: “That’s probably what happened. They contact us and remove information like that from computers for security reasons.” Whew! So I thanked them sincerely for looking out for us and wished them a good day. “And you as well.” Then the female officer said “That’s a really pretty ring you’re wearing.” A big blush and a big “Thank you!” Quite a day.
Sorry about the length of this but I had to get this out. A couple of things here. First, the two officers – who were very polite and professional – took my dressing in stride. Then yesterday I was out doing some yard work in front (en drab) and the two of them drove by – and they both waved! I take all of what happened last week as an affirmation of me -- and of how people are becoming if not accepting, at least tolerant of us. Definitely positive reinforcement.