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Last edited by Katie M; 06-23-2015 at 07:37 AM.
Despite the laws and workplace diversity rules in place I would let a supervisor or peer know before but thats just me.
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Last edited by Katie M; 06-23-2015 at 07:37 AM.
And what will you for references? Burning one's bridges is never a smart move.
Jodi
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Last edited by Katie M; 06-23-2015 at 07:39 AM.
It really depends on your place of employment. Only you can answer the question.
For me, I have never gone fully dressed as a woman, but I have been doing many gender non-conforming things for many years. Things like wearing various article of feminine attire, like socks or shoes or undershirts. But really nobody notices those things. Now my fingernails are noticed by just about everyone. I keep them painted 24/7 and currently they are a bright sparkly red. My ears are pierced and I also wear fem jewelry. It is pretty hard to not notice my diamond/sapphire female wedding ring. Recently I told my boss that I consider myself to be transgender.
What has this done to me at work? Not much. A few questions. A few answers. I am still quite highly respected within my profession and mentor many new employees as well as participate with advancing the directives of my employers.
But I am in a union protected profession. If they did not want me to do what I am doing, they would need to ban every employee from doing the things that I do.
It depends. You have to ask why you want to do this. Are you planning on transitioning? Then you'd probably be given a lot more leeway than if you just crossdress for fun.
I happen to be at work right now, wearing a very pretty dress. But I'm transitioning and started living full-time about 12 days ago. Plus, I own the company and can make the policy.
I wouldn't do it if I were simply a crossdresser, though. It wouldn't be worth it.
Edit: Could you get fired for it? Depends on where you live. 32 states in the US do not protect transgender people against discrimination so yeah, you bet you could be fired in those jurisdictions. If you are actually serious about this, do some research into the laws where you live. Don't just do it on a whim.
Businesses do NOT like surprises! If you are a crossdresser, yes you might well get fired. If you are transsexual and have your name legally changed (or at least in the process), go to your HR department and make arrangements with them. Set a date for you to make the transition at work.
I was always concerned some wise guy would snap my bra. Otherwise, no big deal.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Do not mess with your salary or your potential to earn a salary.
If you think it is depressing sitting at work in male mode, try sitting at home with no $$$ to buy food, let alone clothes (women's or men's).
If you do get fired have you got the resources to fight for your rights?
If you don't get fired can you be sure you wont get passed over for the next promotion?
All you need is for a grumpy or transphobic client to complain and you will be in trouble...
They may not tire you for dressing but for something more generic... Bringing the company into disrepute, unprofessional behaviour etc.
Consider how this may affect coworkers, clients etc. Will they feel discomfort because of your appearance? Almost certainly.
If you want to transition, then go the formal route to protect yourself, your employer and your coworkers.
If this is just pink fog, be aware of that and be circumspect.
Just my
the majority of states don't have protections for you for your job. So saying you are LGBT won't fly. Most states are "At Will" states who can fire you without any reason. Jumping out of the closet and yelling surprise is rarely a good idea.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
There are certain things in life that are lots of fun to think about doing, but are very unwise to actually do. I suspect this is one of them. In my case it certainly is.
Not a good thing to do, except if you own your own business. Even if bosses say it is OK, it is never a good thing to push beyond expected norms and practices. Unfortunately, people complain about the way other employees dress. Believe me, I heard many complaints I never expected to hear - about dress and appearance - making people feel uncomfortable - or being distracting - or being offensive. I have heard senior managers admit they felt some employees' appearances did not present positive images. Some managers felt that if employees did not come to work in appropriate business attire, the employee was not serious about their job. Some bosses disliked what they consider extreme haircuts or people unshaven or tattoos. And I work for a very progressive business. People lose their jobs or don't get promoted or get unwanted transfers or don't get the raise other people get, without any specific reasons. It just happens. As stupid as it seems, and an unfortunate as it is, if you crossdress at work, you risk your career. Unless you are a very serious crossdresser, crossdress after work or on your weekends. I wish I could dress at work, but I can't and I don't.
Please think this thru.
Just because YOU think its a good idea doesn't mean it is.
If your employer knows you are transitioning and HR is aware and are helping you set the forms in motion I wouldn't do it.
You can get fired for no reason in most states so be careful.
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Last edited by Katie M; 06-23-2015 at 07:38 AM.
Katie,
Why don't you try telling someone in HR at your work what you just posted in post #15 and see what they think? (Leave out the bit about hating your job...)
But *don't even think about doing it* until you check with corporate policies and local anti-discrimination laws.
Good luck!
pretty good advice here especially in an at will state I am a former risk mgr and yes you very well could be zapped for this ,however halloween is coming up ! but I could resist a little humor here where I work I run the machine shop and the mechanics on the other side are a sexually brutal bunchand being the curmudgingly grump that I am I think "Jumping out of the closet and yelling surprise is really food for thought as it would be so untypical of me ,I think I would finally shock the heck out of them
on the other hand it would be a unique way to come out ! sorry for the humor on a serious subect but just could't resist good luck on what ever descision you make
hugs phylis anne
Katie I fall in between too and some people don't know what to make of me so I know just what you mean.
I rarely wear guys clothes and get ma'am'd a lot because of my long hair and light make up.
If I try to get a job in the future I will let them know I'm transgender so they know right from the start.
Katie, where do you live, work? In the US? Which sate? In most of Europe, ( UK for sure ) Canada, places like that, there are protections in place, and after checking in with your managers or HR dept, you should be good to go. A lot of US states all they need is an excuse to say "Goodbye!"
I have actually been given permission, to wear skirts, but still haven't gotten up the courage.
"Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO
Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.
The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.
In the most lenient, accepting, TG friendly environments, it would still be disruptive and disrespectful of your supervisors and peers to simply show up one day en femme. Entertain the fantasy if you will, but in reality it would be a very poor choice.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Katie - Try to work on the negative feelings you have in general - about your life. Get some help doing that, Katie. Then try to get a job you enjoy, or maybe figure out what you would really be happy doing, and develop a plan to get there. Finally, don't be so hard on yourself trying to figure out who you are. That will come, too. You will always be 100% you - and that's pretty good. You are not alone.Originally Posted by Katie M
Last edited by heatherdress; 04-30-2015 at 12:11 AM.
Exactly my thought, Kim, and I'm sure our HR ladies (who do know about me, incidentally) would agree: it would be too disruptive to just show up as Amy on days that I felt like it. Otherwise, I would certainly do it.
- Amy
Amy Gale Ruth Bowersox (nee Tapie) - "Be who you are, and be it in style!"
Member, Board of Trustees, Gender Identity Center of Colorado
aka Amelia Storm - Ms. Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2018-2019, Miss Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2015-2016
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Last edited by Katie M; 06-23-2015 at 07:38 AM.
Unfortunately your colleagues probably perceive you primarily as male. Arriving in full on female attire will be a disruption. You cannot change the way they will react. But you will be held responsible for your actions...
Katie,
This is your call. For me, no. While I'm often out and about, and out to any number of folks including some of my co-workers, I would not go to work en femme. While I admire Isha and others who deal with TG issues in the workplace, I'm not there yet. Part of it is that I just feel I can do whatever job I have to do better -- and interact with co-workers better -- as the guy they've known for years. I guess that is the bottom line for me.
Last edited by Claire Cook; 04-30-2015 at 08:13 AM.
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