Agreed, today it's far too easy to break boundaries and violate the trust of your SO. If you are posting pictures across the internet you are outing not only yourself but your spouse and family.Originally Posted by Sierra_juliette
Agreed, today it's far too easy to break boundaries and violate the trust of your SO. If you are posting pictures across the internet you are outing not only yourself but your spouse and family.
Two quick points:
First, I find it ironic that, as a group, we are struggling to have the general public be more tolerant, open-minded and accepting of transgenderism. Yet some of us seem to fairly close-minded in terms of accepting ourselves and our bodies in this context (posting tasteful photos of ourselves in lingerie) and would even go so far as to "police" this activity. It's 2015...are we really still this hung up?
Second, this entire issue of "cheating" by posting otherwise tasteful photos. Why would anyone (Meg, Nadine, Sierra) immediately assume that any of us who do this are doing so in secret, without disclosing to wives? I do agree that, ethically, posting photos in secret could be an issue (although cheating is just a little too much). That's why my wife sees every single last photo that I post. Period.
Did you read what I actually posted? I never assumed any such thing.
If you were born male and are not transitioning or planing on transitioning and you look like me I suggest you see a doctor.
I feel great wearing lingerie as well, its not always the most comfortable to wear but seeing my SOs reaction and the excitement on her face. It makes me feel comfortable and embrace my female sexuality.I wear lingerie for me ....and me onlyjust something special about knowing that beneath my ordinary clothing, I am wearing something outrageous. It changes my posture and my attitude and I know that nobody is in on the secret but me.BUT as far as pictures....we have taken them of each other ....I see it as being empowered and I feel pretty. Nothing racy or sexual.....sexual to me is skin on skin.
I get you think it is only for turning on a man....because thats the way YOU think of it.
Last edited by Candice Mae; 05-04-2015 at 01:21 PM.
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Well said, Rhonda.
There is no issue when lingerie photos are taken to just be shared with our partners. Doing this is a lot of fun. Or, if the couple is a bit more adventuresome, they both agree they will each put up their photos for the public to admire.
The issue is when it is erotic for the CD partner and he shares it hoping it will be erotic for the male onlookers, while his wife is wringing her hands in agony.
I think that motive is key to all of this. And usually, the motive shines through when you consider the choice of poses, setting, shot angle, etc.
Reine
Well I know you directed this at the "straights" but I wear lingerie for my MAN! and he loves me in CFM's and lacey topped stockings suspended by garters and a sexy matching bustier and panty set. With or without forms...and he loves me just as much when it all comes off too
Smile! You'll always brighten someone's day, including your own from their return smile!
Well, I kicked this off but after 80 or so posts, I find it interesting that only four brave souls actually answered it. Thank you Leigh, Barbara M and Tracii G and Starlight. The question I posed was NOT about wearing something, nor was it about the right or wrong about wearing something. It was about the WHY of posting such an intimate photo. It was simply a curiosity that begged the question. A few brave women jumped on board with Sierra-Juliette bringing a rather unique view on this. One I had not considered at all. Thanks for that.
To those who jumped on the "fashion police" train, that was never a ride I intended anyone to take. I didn't write it, I didn't imply it, nor did I intend it. But, the derailing did make for some fun for some.
And Chrissi, it was aimed at the straights, but your perspective is welcome, as always. Still, I can't help but notice that you are not posting pictures of that rather intimate scene either.... ;-)
Last edited by Jenniferathome; 05-05-2015 at 09:18 AM. Reason: corrected headcount
I recall one set of pics posted in the Picture Gallery that the person asked if it was too risque. They were boudoir shots but PG13. They were marvelous images of an older woman showing her beauty. So what is the person's purpose? As it was said, we post to get validation of our own self-image we create. We want to appear feminine - be that in the many situatons woman may be found in - office, house, street, club, stage, or in bedroom. Many here cannot pull off the bedroom feminine look, so do not post it. Or if they do take their own bedroom pics, choose not to share that self-image. Those that do, may feel either confident in that presentation and want to share that success, or they may be turned on by having others see them in that situation. You could find a thread and ask the poster why they did it. But your post did get many to speak up, which is why we are here.
Hugs, Ellen
Hell-o Jenn,
I totally understand your POV about this, me ... personally ... I don't even own any lingerie to take pics with!
That being said, If I did, and took pics of me in them, I wouldn't feel comfortable posting them here.
Thankfully this forum has a designated area for posting these "provocative" pics, if your curious, it's there for
easy viewing.
Why do people post such pics? This is a cross dressing site! Lingerie is a girl thing, So "we" wear it. Lingerie, as others have
pointed out, is worn to attract the attention, or excite, a mate. Unless you've missed a few days around here, many here find this to
be a sexually based experience. Posting pics of themselves in their finest satin and lace is an outlet for that.
After posting said pics, they WILL get compliments, regardless of your, or my opinion, and that is soooo validating that this thread
will not stop anyone from continuing to post lingerie pics.
Just to clarify my view on lingerie pics..... I have no problem with anyone doing their own thing here, I've never seen anything here that would
be better posted to a porn site (BRAVO MODS)
Jenn, what might happen if you came across a set of polka dot lingerie? Ha Ha!
Much Love,
Kristyn
I smile because you are my friend, and
I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it!!!
Hi Jennifer, that is true and by design. Of course I could post pictures, but I chose not to out of respect for the members here, who I have learned are indeed mostly straight. But primarily, those pictures are for my bf are intimate and well, that is what I really like about this site, it is decidedly not a cheap thrill, sort of site. This site is about the feelings, the clothes, the makeup, the emotions and the support and acceptance that we share and seek, whether we are crossdressers, transgender, in transition, or have transitioned. Those looking for that tittilation, generally don't register or move on to other sites that will satisfy their arousal needs.
But perhaps my perspective may help here a little too. I, as a gay man, for one have no interest in seeing the scantilly lingerie clad of us posting pictures. Whether and especially if passable, all the way to the other spectrum of a hairy bear of a man in panties and a bra. I love the clothes, and the outfits and the styles and the tips and courage that we as gurls and women are able to put together. Now if the pictures were of hot guys in speedos, or sexy underwear...let's talk! but then I already have access to those sites on my own (-; big hugs and great topic!
Chrissi
Smile! You'll always brighten someone's day, including your own from their return smile!
To me, it's a sort of erotic craft. Not quite art. We love our clothes and lingerie and go to great efforts to look good in them so creating a record of that and sharing that little spark is what it's about for me. The internet creates a confluence of social anonymity and collaboration for those with specialized interests. I'm taking advantage of that.
The questions are not about why we wear lingerie nor why we take pics, but about posting them. Why, for whom, and to achieve what goal?
Why? Not to be flippant, but simply so others can see them. Something I can't do in person without revealing my real identity.
For whom? Anyone who finds them interesting, to include like-minded crossdressers, men, and interested women. I've had chats with people just wanting to understand what drives me. (my answer: I don't know, not really.)
To achieve what goal? As others have said, to get compliments, acknowledgement, validation, etc. Plus, as Melanie said (just above) "collaboration for those with specialized interests". What this means to me, at the risk of misinterpreting Melanie's words, connecting (without physically meeting) people whose specific interests are aligned with those displayed in my pics, for the purpose of discussion. As a crossdresser with interests much more specialized than general transformation, I like to discuss those special interests with those who either like them (admirers) or do them (other CDers). For some, it's lingerie, and for others, it's something else.
Jennifer should understand this. I have read many posts complimenting her on her appearance and her style: conservative dress, knee length or just above, sensible shoes, cardigan sweater, minimal makeup. It's a look that many other CDers like and hope to achieve, like a woman shopping at the mall or picking her kids up from school without anyone thinking it "incongruous". It would be hard to believe that she doesn't get the same lift from those compliments that others get from their lingerie pics.
Of course, it IS incongruous, but Jennifer thinks men in lingerie is more or MOST incongruous. So we just differ by degrees of incongruity.
Other people are more interested in pics showing different styles. Nothing wrong with that. When I come across a pic that contains nothing particularly interesting to me, I move on to the next.
For some, it's that MOST INCONGRUOUS look that they find interesting, erotic, etc.
Finally, it might be time to re-write the dictionaries, if cheating is posting a pic on the internet without your wife's knowledge. Come on.
If the motive is erotic, hoping that others will find the pic erotic, with all the actions that might ensue (use your imagination), then I can see where a partner might wish all this sexual energy not be focused outside the marriage. I agree though, people can also post pics to seek affirmation or they simply wish to share their craft without having any erotic component. Motive is key and I think this is what matters to wives who might feel cheated on.
Reine
Once again I agree with Reine.
I know some of you have seen my latest rant about my home life in the loved ones section but besides my horses I am a published ( not pro but published ) photographer and my husband has me take 1000's of shots of him in lingerie for him to post on his Flickr site for his fan club he refuses to acknowledge that I know about to oogle over and LOVES to read the comments. Then when they write to him in our email box with the prefix Re: in the heading he denies he has ever had correspondence with them it almost makes me laugh.
I've even offered to get him a pretty young rent boy to do whatever with but he refuses.
If I do not take these pics life becomes a nitemare.. and there is a poster here who is right about not having pics all over the net .. someone all the way back in Holland saw one online somehow , recognized him and printed out I don't know how many and STAPLED them to trees all over the 3 small cities in the area he came from. This was recently, I haven't heard the end of that yet . His brothers are totally humiliated . I usually sign my work . Thank goodness I don't on these .
I asked him once who does he expect will be looking at these ?? Women?? He said well I hoped I would get compliments from women on how good I looked or something to that effect . On FLickr?? in the Adult sections?? I told him good luck with that .
Last edited by Dutchess; 05-05-2015 at 11:47 AM.
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Jennifer you opened a can of worms on this one, the question is a good one and I have always been a live and let live kinda person but I get your point. I think people have a different perspective on their own image than that of others but I believe some cd ers truly want to be attractive to others in that way and some don't, some believe they look gorgeous and good on them if they can be emotionally satisfied, as for me well I would need to much plastic surgery lol 😉
Emma x
We can only give our own approaches to this because as I have learned cross dressing is something different to everyone.
I have no difficulty with taking lingerie photos, indeed I have done it myself, but as with all cross dressing I don't see the point of it unless you make the effort to look your best. There are strict rules as to what you can post on this forum and I accept that, it's a big Internet out there and there are plenty of places for those photos. That said there should be a place for tasteful and convincing lingerie shots because rare and all as they may be, they do exist.
Jennifer – Instead of saying I believe your posts are judgmental and sometimes flat-out mean, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and consider you legitimately do not know how you’re coming off to most of us.
I feel safe with “most of us” because, in your own words, merely four posts in 80-plus attended to the topic you believed you presented. Most of the rest of us responded to the “fashion police” angle. So you must ask yourself – are most of the rest of us reading impaired? Or is it possible your words sound judgmental and condescending?
I’ll present my evidence, then offer you the floor.
You innocently claim only to being curious as to why someone would post a lingerie photo. However, in asking the question, you included these things: “I can't really think of a sight more incongruous than a man in lingerie” and “ … the vast majority of us claim to be straight.”
To me, those two statements are akin to, “Your lingerie pics are ugly” and “I question your proclaimed sexuality.” And if only four posts saw past those types of phrases, I’m very safe in assuming I am not alone.
If you’re innocently curious about why a CD would post a lingerie picture, why not just ask that?
“Hey all – I see some of you post lingerie shots. Can you tell me why?”
See? You’re not describing the pictures (“a sight more incongruous”) and you leave people’s sexuality out of a question where it doesn’t belong.
Later, you made this claim:
“Nowhere did I suggest I am the police nor did I tell anyone they can or can not (sic) wear a, b, or c.”
Except the problem is, you DO suggest you are the police, and you DO make many declarative statements about what a crossdresser should wear and how a crossdresser should behave.
Your words: “By the way, lingerie is by it's (sic) nature provocative and sexual. Cross dressing is not.”
Your words: “We cross dressers need MORE coverage, not less.”
Both of these are your OPINIONS about crossdressing. Can you see how you present them as declarations? You are proclaiming those as true, thus declaring dissenting opinion as false.
It comes off (again, seemingly to most people here based on the responses) as:
“Crossdressing is not sexual! I have proclaimed it!”
“Crossdressers need MORE coverage, not less. I have proclaimed it!”
Yeah … You don’t get to decide those things. Sorry.
As a suggestion, what you could do is start rereading your stuff before clicking the submit button, and when you find a declarative statement, couch it with something clarifying that it’s your opinion. Trust me, it would go a long way.
Something like: “By the way, I think lingerie is by its nature provocative and sexual. But to me, cross dressing is not.” Or, “In my opinion, we cross dressers need MORE coverage, not less.”
Both of those sentences keep your meaning, but don’t slam the door in the face of anyone who disagrees with it.
Speaking of opinions, I have received private messages from dozens of people here thanking me for directly challenging your proclamations. To many, your words come off exactly as I’ve described here. In other words, I'm not alone in what I'm sharing right now, and even the responses to this thread underscore that sentiment.
It may be that you don’t give a rat’s patoot about what I think, or what the dozens of others who’ve contacted me think, and that’s your prerogative; but if I started a thread and only a small number of people understood my point, instead of blaming everyone else for not reading my words correctly, I’d give serious contemplation to the way I’m presenting myself. As in, it might be time for you to think, maybe it’s not everyone else. Maybe it’s me.
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Ironically enough, Jennifer, it is actually more incongruous to see a guy in a dress complaining about men in lingerie. That you don't see this speaks volumes about you as a person. I think it's a good thing that you've resolved, in your mind, that what you do to express your feminine side, your crossdressing, is normal from your perspective. You understand though, right, that the rest of the world doesn't really see it that way, and probably doesn't distinguish between you in a dress, and another man in lingerie?
While typing this, I realized that I almost never wear lingerie anymore. My poor, deprived boyfriend!
Oh, and to answer the question at hand, as asked. I never share lingerie photos here or on an internet forum. I have texted them to my boyfriend, because I believe all of us should do something idiotic via text messages that we'll later really regret! So I guess I fall into the "something worn by a woman to turn on her man" camp.
Can only see this going in one direction now...
Thanks for everyone's contributions - any lingerie photo-posters feeling left out can always PM Jenniferathome with their thoughts or reasons.
Thread closed.
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