Been out, again!

[Nadya]

Once again, it was time to go to the local Tri Ess meeting. I don't want to bore you with all the mundane details. We stayed in SLC again so it would be easier for to get dressed and go the meeting (my fiancé has been so supportive). It's been really great to go out with who I feel I am and don't have to worry about being judged. My trip from the hotel room to the parking garage was uneventful. Nobody was on the elevator to the lobby and an older couple didn't pay me any attention on the elevator ride to the parking level. So far so good.

After another interesting conversation at the meeting I returned to the hotel (I know, boring) I was surprised to see so many people outside the hotel. I began to feel anxiety with all the people. It looked like there was a gymnastics competition or something along those lines at the convention center right next to the hotel. There were tons of families walking around where I hoped would be mostly deserted. I pulled into the parking garage and had a weak moment. I was afraid to leave my car. I was afraid with all the young girls/families, I would be found out for sure so I sat in my car waiting for the dust to settle. This took a while and I tried to act like I was completely absorbed in my phone (a technique I found that helps me blend in I think as young woman with full social life). Once the parking garage settled, I took a breath and exited my car.

I rode the elevators to no real problems but I did ride with a woman and her daughter. I kept to my "I'm totally absorbed in my phone/social life" act but noticed as they got off before me, that the daughter was staring at me as they departed. I thought, "great, I don't blend in at all" but my fiancé pointed something out to me that I hadn't thought of. She may have been just checking out how I was dressed. If I dressed in jeans and shirt, people probably would think nothing of me. This made me feel better about possibly being clocked but I don't think I'll change. This style is me and I love it. If it attracts attention, so be it. It is me. My fiancé says I have a Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds type of look which I love. That style is something I want to emulate so much.

I'd like to ask the community a few questions. Do you think my fiancé is right in the way that my more flashy manner of dressing is what people are looking at or is it rather I'm actually getting clocked? Do you feel that these updates are helpful to the community or is it clogging up the servers with stuff that doesn't promote discussion? I'm interested to know. I feel that these types of things although may sound mundane or boring help me just by being able to express my experience. Thanks for reading. Pictures below. <3

Just as an aside, I did manage to redeem myself. My fiancé ordered pizza for us for a late dinner and instead of letting her answer the door (I was still dressed), I told to let me do it. The delivery guy didn't seem to take notice and it made me feel better for being scared before.