still scared dammit!

[allie45]

I am now in Provincetown Ma. It is supposed to be the place you can relax and be yourself, but I am still freaking out about getting dressed up and going out in the daylight!
I thought I would get here and the courage would just flood my body, and have me strutting up and down the street like nothing, but 2 days in and here I am deciding which t shirt and shorts I am going to wear out today!
I am very dissapointed with myself so far.
Is there a big sister program anywhere in Massachusetts? I need one like crazy!
Either that or I need someone to slap me and tell me to stop being such a Sissy! No pun intended!

[Michelle (Oz)]

Here's a proverbial slap ... just do it!! Seriously, very scary the first time but then you'll wonder what stopped you.

[mechamoose]

Being scared is 'normal', honey. P-Town is a wonderful place, and *nobody* is going to call you out there.

Go out for a walk, enjoy the (cold) morning air! Enjoy the sound of your heels on the sidewalk!

Remember to /swish!

<3

- MM

[Helen_Highwater]

Not knowing my US geography that well I needed to Google Map where Provincetown is. It seems you have a huge beach area on your door step so my advice is, use it!

There's another post running; http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...l-on-the-beach and night time isn't the time to do it. I'll suggest to you that you at least consider what I suggest in post #21. If you can spend time dressed and out then mixing in with the crowd, shopping or dining becomes so much easier.

Don't beat yourself up over this. That first step is a biggie. So big you won't be able to climb back up it. Once stepped, you're there for life!

[Marcelle]

Hi Allie,

There is no race to present oneself publicly and you truly have to be ready and to some degree support a bit of thick skin. If you feel you are truly ready and just need that push to get out there, try going for a drive in your car . . . some say getting out the door is the hardest step and that is true to some degree. If you don't own a car, just try walking out your door and standing outside for a moment or two. Gradual steps can help make the final leap in some cases. I won't lie though, even though most of the time people won't notice or care you do have to prepare yourself for the odd look, giggle and guffaw as it goes with the territory but once you get out, you will find it is not that scary.

Hugs and good luck.

Isha

[Bobbi46]

Just go for it I went out of my front door to meet the post lady I had a skirt on and shirt even with the gate wide open she did not seem to notice or thought so what if he likes to be like that then who am I to complain, she was very pleasant.

[Laura912]

Since when does a lil' ole gal from the great state of Texas let them northeasterners scare them off? Go fer it! Besides Provincetown is the perfect place. For several years, there was a conference similar to Keystone held there.

[Jorja]

I understand, going out can be nerve wracking at first. Start by stepping out the door at night. Go a few steps and keep increasing the distance each time. Go out to a park or some other place that does not have a lot of people during the day. Just slowly get yourself used to being out dressed. Then stop by and pump gas or go through a fast food drive thru. Keep building confidence until one day, you are down town at lunch hour with thousands of people running about.

[audreyinalbany]

even though Isha says you need to prepare yourself for the odd look, giggle and guffaw…You really don't have to in Provincetown, especially since the tourist season really isn't in full swing yet. The natives there are SUPER accepting.

[rachael.davis]

Allie, you're in Provincetown for goodness sake.

if not today when, you're never going to be in a more supportive town.

[kimdl93]

Take it in small steps. My first outing was to go out in my front yard to move the sprinkler.

[Claire Cook]

I think it's a lot like swmming for the first time -- you don't know that you can do it until you do it. Lots of encouragement here. My only amendment to Jorga's post -- are there any of us who didn't have those first-time jitters? I'll bet we all did -- and we survived!

[Wendy me]

go do it shave pluck and get your girl on go do it .... Wendy dose cape cod just go ....

[I Am Paula]

I used to wait until after dark, then RUN to my car. It took a few trips to realize there are no villagers with torches, and pitchforks. By the forth, or fifth trip, I'd wave at the neighbors, and do a little spin.

[Sarah-RT]

Nothing like that fear Allie to make you feel alive. Had an exam this morning in college and afterwards I thought I'd pick myself up some clothing, I had the fear and uncomfort but thought to myself "no, I'm just going to go in, buy something that makes me happy and damn everyone else who gets in my way" I was halfway towards the shop door when a lady standing outside glanced up at me and I figured "she knows!!" So I wheeled about and headed home with my tail between my legs, I'll try again on Thursday when I have another exam, you stay at it too, as others have said, begin in the evening by walking around near where you are staying, each small step adds up

Sarah x

[Jean 103]

I still get a little fear now and then, and I’m like out there. It’s all about attitude, and a little or in my case a lot of makeup, LOL. Hold your head high and go about your business. I haven’t been there but I get the feeling it is an easy going area. The day time is better than the night for going out, shopping, coffee, or frozen yogurt, a girl has to watch her weight. Put the whole pass don’t pass thing out of your mind, just be yourself and let people see you for who you are. Be nice, polite, treat people with respect and for the most part they will do the same. Do things you like to do and do every day, don’t over think it, and above all else be safe. You can do this, they are not going to shoot you and even if they did at least the got out and experienced life. You’re a girl your going to attract attention, this is something that you just have to get use to. Again, you can do this and it does get easier.
Love Jean

[Katey888]

Allie, I'm not sure a good slapping is always a help, but here you go anyway...



Did that help? Thought not...

Alternatively, maybe just strutting your stuff is not going to be the best thing for you? It helped me first time out to have somewhere specific to go, and perhaps if you knew that place would be accepting that would help too?

I'm guessing there would be a suitable 'T' or LGBT venue nearby? My advice: recce in drab; speak to the staff to introduce yourself; make an appointment with yourself to visit at a particular time... That gives you something specific and an objective to walk out the door for.

Good luck!

Katey x

[Sarah Doepner]

Allie,

I can't count how many times I froze with my nicely manicured hand on the doorknob, purse over my shoulder and perfume wafting about my nose. I still get a little jolt when I'm about ready to leave the room all prettied up, but I like the feeling now because it means I'm going to have a good time.

If you do go out en drab, spend some of that time looking at how the women are dressed and how people are paying attention to their phones, feet, shop windows, birds, one-another, etc. Return to your room, find that outfit that works with the crowd you saw and remember once you make that first step outside each step after is a little easier. honest.

[Jenniferathome]

Allie, the greatest barrier to getting out the door is in your head, not outside. Cross dressing is not against the law. You have every right to be someplace as anyone else. Be conscious of the "dress code" where and when you are, and turn that door knob. It's more liberating than fearful.

I don't want want to be embarrassed when I am out but I want to be out moe than I am afraid of that embarrassment. By the way, it it has never happened. People can handle you.

Have fun

[BillieAnneJean]

Find a support group to help you get OUT enfemme. We do it all the time at The Grand Illusions.

[allie45]

Thanks everyone. I know it is still all in my head.
I have been out several times at home at night, this vacation is to try and get me out in the daylight.
It just seems like I am starting over again from scratch.
It took me a long time to get out at home I just don't want to waste this trip and not go out at all.
I think I will take Katies advice of drab reconnaissance, there are supposed to be freindly bars here.
I will start this afternoon and drink in them all, I should have Poe ty of courage by this evening! Haha

Thank you all girls. I love this site. You don't know me but are always there for me, I wish you were all here.

Next vacation will be Grand Rapids Billiejean I will be in touch!

[BillieAnneJean]

allie45,
WOW! Now THAT is a compliment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You won't be disappointed if you vacation here. Imagine four days of enfemme fun entirely OUT in the company of experienced gals. Well except when you crash at night.

We will be putting our 2016 Drab to Fab calendar on our website soon.

I hope you can come!

Isn't this forum grand?!?!! Where would we be without it?!!?

[Beverley Sims]

With all this encouragement.....


What are you waiting for?

[Dana44]

Ah there is no reason to be scared. One time I put my concealer on a little to much and it created a mask effect. Only thing happened there was in a foyer of a restaurant. A GG looked at my face and studied it. My SO said, that she thought her eyeballs were going to jump out. Nothing said. my face did look bad and she probably was thinking how I did that crazy makeup. I was decked out in a pencil skirt, really nice top and lot of bling, rings, watch, earrings and a nice necklace. I just looked at her and smiled. Everything else was great in that restaurant and the waiters were fantastic. I knew it was my fault and the light must have been just right to get that look. Nobody else in that foyer gave me a second look. So people are pretty tolerant. And this is in Texas. One of the places that is a bit harder for the LB-GT. So go for it.

[Bobbi46]

Please, please do not be dissapointed with yourself!. I am new to this forum and to the lovely world of cd but reading some threads and posting my thoughts I plucked up the courag to get a skirt and blouse and go out I did that and only got looked at hard by one couple. So don't worry go out ther and do it after the first time i feel that you will be ok.
Good luck