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Thread: Out for the first time!

  1. #1
    Member TinaMc's Avatar
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    Out for the first time!

    So last night I actually went out for the first time! After feeling like I was stuck in a bit of a rut after my wife and I had our babies, I basically said to my wife that I really kind of need to dress, and it's just not practical at home so I was considering going to the support group in Manchester, Concord. I also told her I wanted to give myself a bit of a push as well in terms of self acceptance and that kind of thing. She said that's fine, as long as I stay safe and don't give her loads to worry about. That was about 6 months ago.
    Anyway I finally set a date, got in touch with the group to make sure I couldn't give myself an easy way out. And then bit the bullet and went. I went in drab as they have changing facilities at the venue, so I went in and had a bit of a chat to the lady who runs Concord. Eventually got to the change rooms, chatted to people in the change rooms as we got ready. Next thing, after a looooong time getting ready, I was fully dressed. To be fair, thank God I gave myself few options, I wouldn't have made it out of the dressing room if I'd brought anything else. Anyway, in the function room I had a few drinks with the girls, chatted more, everyone was really nice, got some compliments about how I looked which felt great.
    After a while the crowd thinned out to just a handful of people, so one of the girls offered to take me to another bar in the Village for a drink. So I went for a bit of a mooch outside, had a cheeky pint in the other bar, and then that was pretty much time up for Tina. Had to make my way back to the Concord to get changed back to drab and head home on the late bus.
    Like a lot of other people report, I felt strangely at ease among the other girls. Realistically, we were for the most part a bunch of guys having a few drinks, but there just wasn't the same *&^% swinging/pissing contest stuff going on that seems to define "blokey" social situations. Everyone was very respectful and very inclusive. I'm super shy and will not go up and initiate conversations with people, but I felt so different in this situation, I was quite happy to talk to people I didn't know, was quite open and "let them in". People were looking at me very differently. I was holding eye contact with people and smiling at them (not like a gormless idiot, but you know what I mean). I just felt confident, and not the usual slightly paranoid.
    When I read this back it sounds boring as, and I guess it was, but at the same time it was one of the most important things I've ever done and I'll definitely remember it fondly.
    I'll also definitely be back in a few weeks time.
    Edit: And interestingly, I noticed that it was almost 5 years exactly to the day I joined this forum (12 May 2010, 13 May 2015).
    And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom - Anais Nin

  2. #2
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi Tina,

    What a great story and CONGRATS on getting out. Sometimes we just need a push when we are truly ready and you found yours. Thanks for sharing.

    Hugs

    Isha

  3. #3
    Platinum Member
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    Congratulations on an excellent first outing! Thanks to your wife for being so understanding and to your, for not giving her anything to worry about!
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  4. #4
    Girl from the Eagles Nest reb.femme's Avatar
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    Hi Tina,

    Epic achievement and going out for a drink elsewhere, just to add to the overall thrill. You certainly got to spread those wings. Unfortunately, as the old saying goes, "time flies when you're having fun". The nights with my Croydon-based group fly by, especially when my internal clock is blurred by Vodka.

    I get up to Cheshire every month for the working week and would like to try Manchester Concord or even the Village, but always seem to have to work late. I must try harder.

    Rebecca

    Rebecca
    Flying high under the spell of life!

    http://www.rebsweb.co.uk

  5. #5
    New "old" girl Suzie Petersen's Avatar
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    That is awesome Tina, sounds like you had a really good time! good for you.

    The Concorde in Manchester is a good place to go for a first time out. Like you said, they do have an option for changing on the premises and you can chose to just stay there for the evening or, if you feel up for it, walk around in the village.

    First time I went there, many years ago, I didnt know anybody and had no idea what to expect. I stayed at a hotel some distance from there and was dressed full femme when i arrived at the Concorde.
    Met some lovely people, some of which I stayed in touch with for years after.

    I was not too sure about going out in the village, but one of the regulars encouraged me and went with me, same as what happened for you. We had a fun time and it was really nice just strolling down the street, chatting about whatever.

    Rebecca: The nights with my Croydon-based group fly by
    I used to spend a lot of time in Croydon actually! Did not know there was a group there. Then again, it was years ago too so maybe it wasn't there then.

    Hugs
    Suzie

  6. #6
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    Finding a support group here in France would not be an easy task and if I did find one in all probability they would be all be french which would leave me high and dry.

  7. #7
    Banned Read only
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    Quote Originally Posted by TinaMc View Post
    ...Like a lot of other people report, I felt strangely at ease ...When I read this back it sounds boring as, and I guess it was, but at the same time it was one of the most important things I've ever done and I'll definitely remember it fondly....
    I think this is how it is supposed to be. We have so much more built up in our heads than reality throws at us that once you are at ease, you can have a boring, good ole time! Good for you.

  8. #8
    New Member Satwiwa's Avatar
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    thats an inspiring narrative about your first night out. it's something I've thought about and hope to someday soon. sounds like the evening was a success for you. thank you for sharing.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Tina we all progress at different speeds, lots of luck with your outings.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  10. #10
    Junior Member Betty Jean Blose's Avatar
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    Tina, so pleased you took the chance and enjoyed yourself.........the world is such a wonderful place whether male or female........what I liked the most was you expressing your feelings, the emotions you felt.....and how you realized you had changed.......

  11. #11
    Seasoned Member Rhonda Darling's Avatar
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    Tina, what took you so long?? Actually, just kidding. We all know exactly what took you so long. Confidence in oneself often takes us ladies a while to find. Once we do, world look out! I hope you are able to become a regular in that group. I've found some great friends in my groups and being accepted as a "regular" is not a bad feeling at all.

    Congratulations on your success.

    Rhonda
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Be all the woman that you can be!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    . . . and now, On With The Show!

  12. #12
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Tina,

    This really chimed with me and brought back lovely memories of the first, and to date, only time I've been able to attend a meeting. Your comment " I felt strangely at ease among the other girls." echoed my experience. I half expected to be like a fish out of water but nothing was further from the truth. It just goes to show that;
    a. This is a great community to belong to.
    b. We're not alone or unique in the fears and feeling we've all experienced while on our own journeys and those we do meet can instantly emphasize with our situation and feelings.

    Best of luck in your journey and let us know about your next visit.

    Helen
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  13. #13
    Senior Member
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    Wonderful story Tina, go girl. Congrats.

  14. #14
    New Member Nadia916's Avatar
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    Way to go Tina! I would love to attend an event like that! I haven't done any research to see if there are any events here in California yet, but I hope there are!

    Nadia

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