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Thread: Those of us who identify as gay?

  1. #26
    happy and complete kkaye's Avatar
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    Without being an authority on being Gay. Being attracted to other men or feeling a certain way is the difference between night and day. Having sex with another man is a big difference between gay feelings. I had attractions towards other males all my life. I acted on it and in my denial of being gay, I just considered it passing acts because in large part, I first and foremost was into girls like any average guy until, I faced the reality. No straight man pitches are catches from the other. I have been married, fathered children and lived years without acting on my attractions and did not consider myself gay or bi.
    But then came the reality. Straight men do not do other men. A man is not gay because of attractions. It is acting on it. For example. Is a man a cross dresser because he like the way women clothes look and would like to try it. Or does he become a cross dresser when he start wearing women clothes.

  2. #27
    New Member Anna Marie72's Avatar
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    I'm most definitely BI. Have been since my early teens. Fortunately this is one aspect of my relationship with my wife (GG), that is not a problem, she has no issues with this, and we have been known to be socially friendly with other people (in certain environments). Ironically enough, she has concerns and fears about the whole CD thing..

  3. #28
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    I've commented on this on another thread, but for me, there is an odd dynamic taking place. I identify as being bi-sexual, but I find myself attracted in different ways to different genders. I am attracted both emotionally and sexually to women, but only sexually with men. I suppose if I started living more and more as a woman I might find myself changing... but I can only guess. From what I read here and on other websites it is quite obvious that what motivates us to crossdress is different for each of us and the sexual aspect of it seems to be all over the map. I suppose it boils down to "whatever fits your fancy."

  4. #29
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    I've always liked both. Just depends on what I see, how they move, how they smell and who they are.

  5. #30
    New Member Bandie's Avatar
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    I see myself as bi

  6. #31
    love to hear from u missynicole's Avatar
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    I am sort of like Julia Ann in that when in normal male mode I honestly have stopped thinking about sex pretty much. However when dressed as Missy Nicole, which is becoming more often, I definitely prefer a man. It feels so natural thinking about wanting to be with him when dressed. Now to find him

  7. #32
    Rachel1225 Rachel1225's Avatar
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    This has been a issue with me for some time. All my life at any given point there has always been a man that I was attracted to. I could see myself being with him as a female. To date I've never been with another man, I've tried toys to experiment with, and that was fine it felt natural . Just like wearing a dress does.
    But after going to gay forums and exploring , I personally found myself turned off when guys started flirting with me.
    Maybe it's just because I wasn't attracted to them, I'm not sure what I would do if one of the guys I am attracted to was to show interest .

  8. #33
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    You can place me in the gay category thank you.
    Women are awesome don't get me wrong but having a Mr right would be nice.
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  9. #34
    Luv doing girl stuff CherylFlint's Avatar
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    While in drab, I’m a guy 100% so I like girls, but when dressed as Cheryl I like the boys.

  10. #35
    New Member MonicaMarie's Avatar
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    I used to identify as straight, but after sorting out many aspects of my life, I began to identify as gay, though this came late for me - around the age of 40. When I'm in drab, I see myself as a gay male, but en femme I'm a straight woman. My ever-evolving understanding of my identity is currently that I am transgendered, but not at the point where I'm ready to begin transitioning. I'm in therapy right now trying to move forward, but I'm taking it very slowly.

  11. #36
    New Member Sophie Hogletta's Avatar
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    Interesting

    Thread is interesting. I have been through many theories myself but now I would love to be dressed as a girl with a man, and I am not sure if that is gay or not. As I would identify as a girl.

    I must check this out. Definitely I will do this.

  12. #37
    Gail gailbridges's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana44 View Post
    I'm BI, but in a heterosexual relationship. So, I go with the flow. If I was single then I would probably do both.
    Word. In male mode, guys hold no interest for me, but as Gail, they are getting my attention online. I'll let you know more if and when I get out of the closet.

  13. #38
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    There's a theory, that's probably true for some people, that if you have no previous attraction to men and you suddenly develop an attraction to the idea of being with a man when you're dressed, that you're objectifying the man and treating him as an accessory to your CDism. That is, you see a hot girl in ankle strap shoes, you want ankle strap shoes -- you see her having sex with a guy and you want a guy to have sex with. Don't be offended; neither I nor the people who came up with this idea are trying to demean your desires, but same sex attraction that doesn't stay with you when you're not dressed is probably not true attraction. If you're the exception, fine.

  14. #39
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Good points Jennie.
    Sexual preference doesn't change because of the clothes.
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  15. #40
    Silver Member franlee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Sexual preference doesn't change because of the clothes.
    This is so simple but so on target. I think it is so obvious that we all look over it!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Fran
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  16. #41
    New Member Sophie Hogletta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by franlee View Post
    This is so simple but so on target. I think it is so obvious that we all look over it!
    It's a very good point. I am still attracted to girls, but I took a decision a while ago to concentrate sex on being a girl, and that led me to guys. No regrets. Nothing is better than a nice snuggle with a glass of wine watching a film. And anyway, I'm probably trans anyway. Being single I have all the time to explore and can spend weekends dressed up which is cool. When you spend that kind of time in a female mode you start to think more like that, and nothing beats waking up on a Sunday morning in lingerie next to a nice large guy. If you are girly inclined like me.

  17. #42
    Senior Member Sammy777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chrissi View Post
    Thanks girls for the responses, and keep them coming.
    Here is a mouthful for you

    "Homo-Flexible Lesbian identifying Pan Romantic Demisexual".
    Or "Bisexual" for short


    Quote Originally Posted by Jennie-cd View Post
    There's a theory, that's probably true for some people, that if you have no previous attraction to men and you suddenly develop an attraction to the idea of being with a man when you're dressed, that you're objectifying the man and treating him as an accessory to your CDism. That is, you see a hot girl in ankle strap shoes, you want ankle strap shoes -- you see her having sex with a guy and you want a guy to have sex with. Don't be offended; neither I nor the people who came up with this idea are trying to demean your desires, but same sex attraction that doesn't stay with you when you're not dressed is probably not true attraction. If you're the exception, fine.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Good points Jennie.
    Sexual preference doesn't change because of the clothes.
    BRAVO!
    Warning: This post may contain up to 63% post consumer recycled Sarcasm ... or Peanuts."
    "Sammy, really next time do try to make your point without being quite so abrasive." -RD

  18. #43
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    Sophie, it looks like you're on a road of discovery that can be quite satisfying... and confusing, all at the same time. I am bi, but when in drab I have no emotional attraction to men - it's strictly sexual. However, when I'm dressed I seem to have a different feeling toward men as my feminine side takes over. I want more than just the physical. As a woman, everything changes - sex becomes an adjunct to something deeper and more satisfying. One of the wonderful mysteries of life.

  19. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennie-cd View Post
    There's a theory, that's probably true for some people, that if you have no previous attraction to men and you suddenly develop an attraction to the idea of being with a man when you're dressed, that you're objectifying the man and treating him as an accessory to your CDism. That is, you see a hot girl in ankle strap shoes, you want ankle strap shoes -- you see her having sex with a guy and you want a guy to have sex with. Don't be offended; neither I nor the people who came up with this idea are trying to demean your desires, but same sex attraction that doesn't stay with you when you're not dressed is probably not true attraction. If you're the exception, fine.
    That makes a lot of sense, however if a CDer takes the fantasy further and sleeps with a man, and they are fundamentally straight. Wouldn't that experience be a disaster?

    I do know of one person that did this and really regretted it, actually they were sickened by it.

    If that theory held true there should be a fair number on here that have regrets?

  20. #45
    Rachel1225 Rachel1225's Avatar
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    Update..... Toys.... Are no where near the real thing!! Had my first encounter with another CD last night... And it was amazing !!

  21. #46
    Girliegirl Jillian Faith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennie-cd View Post
    There's a theory, that's probably true for some people, that if you have no previous attraction to men and you suddenly develop an attraction to the idea of being with a man when you're dressed, that you're objectifying the man and treating him as an accessory to your CDism. That is, you see a hot girl in ankle strap shoes, you want ankle strap shoes -- you see her having sex with a guy and you want a guy to have sex with. Don't be offended; neither I nor the people who came up with this idea are trying to demean your desires, but same sex attraction that doesn't stay with you when you're not dressed is probably not true attraction. If you're the exception, fine.
    Jennie I think this rings true for a lot of CDs

  22. #47
    When in doubt? Smile! Chrissi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sammy777 View Post
    Here is a mouthful for you

    "Homo-Flexible Lesbian identifying Pan Romantic Demisexual".

    BRAVO!

    I can spell antidisestablishmentarianism too! hugs
    Chrissi
    Living my happiness and facing my problems as ME...no more filter... is...so...much...everything...better!

  23. #48
    When in doubt? Smile! Chrissi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandie70 View Post
    Sophie, it looks like you're on a road of discovery that can be quite satisfying... and confusing, all at the same time. I am bi, but when in drab I have no emotional attraction to men - it's strictly sexual. However, when I'm dressed I seem to have a different feeling toward men as my feminine side takes over. I want more than just the physical. As a woman, everything changes - sex becomes an adjunct to something deeper and more satisfying. One of the wonderful mysteries of life.
    For me the emotional, romantic, sexual attractions are all men, always have been, regardless of how I present. However, the intellectual and sometimes emotional interests are with women. Meaning, I am friends with more women than gay guys. At work, I associate with the women, not the men.

    But at the end of the day, regardless of what happened, I want to snuggle up with a big strong hairy guy, and feel his scruffy beard and tactile hands and his smell and voice and well you get the idea...

    Quote Originally Posted by CherylFlint View Post
    While in drab, I’m a guy 100% [so] and I like girls, but when dressed as Cheryl I like the boys.
    There, Cheryl, I fixed that for you...
    Last edited by Lorileah; 05-26-2015 at 02:25 PM. Reason: merged several responses. You can add to your reply using the edit
    Living my happiness and facing my problems as ME...no more filter... is...so...much...everything...better!

  24. #49
    Senior Member Sammy777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chrissi View Post
    I can spell antidisestablishmentarianism too! hugs
    Chrissi
    That's a lot of letters

    I usually reserve the "long version" for people in the know, for the general populous who can barely grasp Straight, Bi, Gay/Les I try to keep it simple with Bisexual (it cuts down on the gender vs sexuality confusion), even though I more closely identify with Lesbian*.

    *(And for those of you who are wondering, yes you can "be with" someone of the "opposite sex" and still identify as Gay or Lesbian.)
    Last edited by Sammy777; 05-24-2015 at 01:15 PM.
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  25. #50
    Senior Member Sammy777's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie A View Post
    So I wonder does this mean that I am becoming to realize that when dressed that I am bi? or is it the euphoria of the sexual feelings that come with getting dressed up when I can?
    Like many have said before.........
    What you wear has no effect on your sexuality.

    Do you:
    A] Find men attractive on a normal daily basis?
    B] Only find men attractive when dressed, or "feeling fem"?

    If you answered A - Congrats, you are most likely Bisexual, or at least seriously Hetero-Flexible ("Straight" but willing to go that way)

    If you answered B - Then no, you are not Bisexual nor Hetero-Flexible.
    You are simply a straight guy who enjoys (maybe a bit too much) the fantasy of being a straight girl (while "dressed") who is attracted to guys.


    <Rant> (this is not directed at you Stephanie A, but to anybody who happens to fit the bill)

    Quite frankly I am seriously sick and tired of hearing tales of "weekend bisexuals" who are in reality straight men, who are happy being straight men, who have NO - ZERO attraction to other men in their daily Male lives.
    (Except of course when they are *giggles* wearing a pair of *#^%$ panties.)

    It is stuff like this that is another reason why [REAL] Bisexuals are thought of as myths, like unicorns.

    Why Straight, (But mostly) Gay and Lesbian people want nothing to with Bisexuals because we are seen as jokes, closeted Gay/Lesbians who are afraid to come out, untrustworthy, will (and want to) have sex with anybody.
    Or more simply are "greedy" or "can't decide" who they like.

    I am Bisexual, in every sense of the word, but I "identify" as Lesbian because:
    1) I like both, but have a preference towards other women, but more importantly
    2) There are plenty of Lesbians who will not touch a "Bi" girl (trans or not) with a ten foot pole.
    Mostly due to the above reasons.

    So I will leave you with the picture below. </Rant>




    PS: Chrissi, I do apologize for "going off" in what has other wise been a very nice (if sometimes fanciful) thread.
    Last edited by Sammy777; 05-25-2015 at 08:30 PM.
    Warning: This post may contain up to 63% post consumer recycled Sarcasm ... or Peanuts."
    "Sammy, really next time do try to make your point without being quite so abrasive." -RD

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