Why do people instantly think crossdressers are gay? I am not gay. But I overheard a neighbor who apparently saw me dressed, talking to his son saying "maybe he is gay?"
When I thought no one was home, I was outside dressed. Only to find out his son was home to see me.
This neighbor isn't one I would want to talk to. He is an ass and I don't like him anyways.
Until told differently, people don't know enough to come to any other conclusion, regardless of how erroneous that conclusion is...
DeeAnn
Susan, your neighbor thinks like about 99 % of the population and they do not want to bother themselves to find out the truth. It is a shame really, but I have no solution, as how to educate the masses, concerning TG issues. Most people will remain under a rock most of their lives.
Unfortunately when MOST of society think of crossdressers their first image is a flamboyant drag queen. I wish it wasn't that way too, but I am unsure how to change a whole society way of thinking.
It is unfair that women get to wear men's clothing and nothing is ever thought twice about it, but when a man crossdresses he is considered weird, abnormal and gay.
I don't like him either...
The thing is, like every other group of people on the planet that might have one thing in common, we have many, many other things not in common. So it's like saying all presbyterians like jelly doughnuts.
CD? I'm never cross when dressed
More like HF.. Happy Femulator. Julie's Flickr page
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For thousands of years it has been thought that our kind (transgender) must be perverts of some type. Among those perversions is being gay. I mean, what else could cause a perfectly normal guy to dress in women's clothing? Don't believe me? Type the word Crossdresser or transsexual into your browser and see what comes up. Page after page of trans porn and a couple of sites actually trying to explain our situation.
Now I wonder why it is automatically assumed we are gay?
Is it really an unreasonable assumption? Why would a man dress as a woman but to attract men? The irony is that most gay men want men, not a man dressed as a woman. Given how little the average person knows about cross dressing, I think that supposition is natural.
I can't speak for anyone else, but when Jessica takes control, I am attracted to men!!! but when, she loosens her hold on my psyche, the thought of being with another man repulses me?!?!?!! am I gay? Bisexual? Two beings sharing a body?? Bipolar?? or Just Nuts????
"Life is Always a Bed of Roses........ Sometimes it's All Flowers, and Other Times, It's All Thorns!!!!"
Luv, Jessica XOXO
I vote for Just Nuts, Jessica!
I've never been been attracted to males. While dressed or otherwise.
However, in my fantasies. While dressed I always perceive myself as female. Probably makes no sense at all...
Lots of ignorant people out there. I think part of problem is that most people don't know anyone that does that and is open to talk about it.
Most people hate things happening without a "reason", as they need to make sense of their world.
I don't think it's ignorance, just not yet learned, same way as 45% of Americans think the world is less than 10,000 years old, because 4 billion years doesn't work on their mind set.
Last edited by Rachelakld; 05-23-2015 at 06:13 PM.
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I disagree, Jennifer. I don't think it's a reasonable assumption. But maybe I'm weird. :P
It does seem to be a common assumption. Then again, widespread assumptions aren't always reasonable.
I like to think one way to "fight" such assumptions is to enlighten people.
I have worked with people with disabilities since 1989, and there were a lot with profound disabilities. I have done direct care, managing of services, case work, group home work, etc. I have friends that are transgender. Now I'm comming to grips with my own CD and finding it is perfectly normal. IF I have learned anything that we are all everyone else. That means there is no Normal. There is just us.
Life would be pretty boring if we were all the same.
Eating the same, watching the same thing, wearing the same clothes, driving the same car, etc.
Life is good and every day is a blessing.
It's a combination of intellectual laziness, rigid social norms about what constitutes virile behavior, and the classic non-sequitur that all gay men are drag queens/all crossdressers are gay.
well, if you were wearing a cycling jersey and bike shorts do you think people might assume you're a cyclist?
The fact is, most women are attracted to men. If you are making an effort to appear to be a woman, it is certainly possible that you are attracted to men as well. It may be true that the majority of cross dressers are straight men, but you have to admit that there are not very many of you out in the open. The only guys that seem to be comfortable with it are in fact gay.
Be the change you wish to see.
I do not think it is a reasonable assumption or a natural supposition. It is remark which demonstrates ignorance and probable prejudice, towards both.
When I am Sophie I am attracted to men, but I don't think that makes me gay. That doesn't really make sense, as I would like to be Sophie all the time, but there you go.
We all know this is a peculiar situation.
I have listen to this same sort of derogatory blanket statements so many times in my career it is beyond belief. I have come to realize that many time it is simply to cast a negative light on the practice and in cases such as a older man or father to a son or youth they want to influence it sticks without having to explain. The other cause is they want to seem above ever doing such, on the same level as homophobia. And a lot have done so so the guilt drives them to cover their own participation.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Fran
It's worth something just being around to Fuss!
indeed, the assumption is wrong AND enlightenment would solve this issue but... you don't see a lot of enlightening going on, do you?Originally Posted by justmetoo
I guess I would have to ask, why should a normal think we are straight? Why would that be reasonable?
Well, ignorance is lack of knowledge. But how is one to get that knowledge? Do the normals have an obligation to seek information on all lifestyles? I think not. What the average person knows about cross dressing is drag queens. Drag queens are nearly universally gay. It's pretty easy math.
Last edited by Jenniferathome; 05-23-2015 at 08:59 PM.
So what if he said this?
As ignorant as this assumption might be (debatable ignorance if one were to poll these pages), who cares? Does his inference matter in your world? Only if you let it matter and that is giving him control over you, even if only to make you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. Clearly you shouldn't be because you are sporting the female presentation while being outside your home but still, you brought it up.
For what it's worth, I think the assumption is quite reasonable. There aren't a lot of us out in the real world changing such perceptions.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
Why are you considered if your neighbours think that you are gay? It makes very little difference to your life.
I have heard the theory before that we dress to attract men.
But then why, when I pierced my ear 30 years ago, did people in HS ask if I was gay? What because one piercing is comparable to fully dressing as a woman? No, it was just something different than what is typical of most guys. I've personally begun to think of it as the guy code. Any violation outside of the guy code signifies that you are different. And the general publics only common knowledge about men who violate the code are homosexual men. Thus if you are willing to violate the man code in any way then you must be gay.
Btw, have you noticed what shorts the man code allows you to wear? Khaki cargo shorts! Oh and camo cargo shorts. Possibly one or two other colors, but they MUST be cargo shorts!
Last edited by Nadine Spirit; 05-23-2015 at 09:39 PM.
Perhaps T's association with LGB has something to do with it.
Putting trans-gendered people into gay category is a normal generalization. It is part of the LGBT society anyway. I would not call the people who did it that way as ignorant.
Take ourselves for example, if I saw two lesbian girls, I just know that they are lesbian. Indeed, I believe there are so many sub-divisions of the lesbian spectrum that I don't know of. And I may not have the time (or the necessity) to figure out the fine distinctions or labels. Same thing for people who put crossdressers under the general LGBT category.
Forgive me for being straight forward, for those of us who objects to being labeled as gay (or being seen as related to gay), there maybe some homophobia that is lurking deep in your subconscious.
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